Mismatched

“If there was ever a person…” Lacey trailed off, shaking her head at Fletcher’s pursuit of the near impossible.

If she ever put together a list of guys impervious to her matchmaking abilities, Fletch would be at the top. Unlike Marcus, who slotted in not far behind him, Lacey had never even contemplated a potential match for Fletcher. He lacked any semblance of an attention span while also oozing a superhuman level of confidence. Yet, beneath all that bluster was a good guy at heart. A person paying attention could tell that by looking at his eclectic mix of close friends.

Someday, the petite redhead vowed. Yet, that ultimately was nowhere on the horizon. Probably when he hits thirty or forty.

Shifting her attention to finding her parents and checking on Finn, Lacey tried to hurry through the lobby. However, she could barely budge as she found herself momentarily stuck amongst departing ballgoers. Witzler employees pleaded with people to give them more time to set up additional cots. Sinclair Pierce pointed out again that these hastily arranged commendations would be free of charge. After having just been outside in the freezing rain and on the icy roads, she watched in dismay at how many people insisted on risking their lives.

Doesn’t anything about tonight click in their heads? Aunt Cassie died in weather like this!

“We’re not frightened of a little rain. You all need to stop living scared,” Rupert Scudmore declared.

“I bet you’ll be wishing otherwise soon,” Lacey muttered, watching Cyril Olesky’s hatchetman swagger his way outside.

Finally finding a path through the gathering, Lacey spotted Jaxon, Caterina’s brother, standing just outside the group. He gazed with envy at the weather outside while chatting with a couple of friends.

“Tate and I should’ve opened up an auto body shop. Think of all the business that’s coming their way soon.”

I bet Cat’s happy you didn’t. She’s already complaining about having to help out as a receptionist as punishment.

Smiling over what her friend would think if her brother’s business suddenly jumped, Lacey wondered if she should stop in and check on her friends at the sleepover. I don’t want to disturb anyone's sleep, but I doubt Katie will have calmed down enough to let anyone fall asleep. First, I’ll check in with Mom, Finn, and Rammy. I just need to find all of them. Oh, this might help.

Veering off course, Lacey headed to where she saw Daisy and Norah. The younger girl appeared zoned in on her phone, which she typed on nonstop. Getting closer, the redhead realized that Ramsey’s newspaper partner wasn’t resting on the couch. No, she was passed out.

“Hey,” Norah greeted, surprising Lacey by even noticing her walk over.

“Is Daisy drunk?” the older teen asked, her expression showing surprise.

“Nope, just exhausted. It’s been a long night,” Norah responded, continuing to type.

“Where’s Ramsey?”

"You didn't hear? Of course, you didn't, as you were at the hospital," Norah said, finally glancing up at the other girl's face. "Ramsey's mom grounded her. Sent her to babysit her cousin, and she took away her phone."

“Ms. Swift found out about where Rammy went?”

“She did,” Norah confirmed, nodding at the older girl as if dismissing her. “Oh, if you see Dex, send him this way. There is a lot of work to do.”

“Um, sure. I’ll tell him,” Lacey replied, holding back an eye-roll.

Walking away, she marveled at how much work The Buzzy Bee seemed to take to run and how the staff always seemed so obsessed with all of it. Unbeknownst to Lacey, people often thought the same about her matchmaking. The same hobby that reared its depressing downside right now.

“No, no, no,” the redhead moaned.

Since the start of the school year, Lacey had been concerned and increasingly preoccupied with Glory Blick's love life, or lack thereof. Recently divorced, the new math teacher felt like someone who needed Lacey's particular skill set. A lot of time and thought had gone into coming up with the perfect person and timing for Ms. Blick. So, watching Tucker Underwood head to the elevator while pulling a woman who wasn't Ms. Blick along with him felt like a major failure.

Along with a feeling of failure came sadness as Lacey realized that she’d probably never see or talk to Austin’s uncle or cousins much more after their breakup. Still, Tucker was also Rory’s uncle, so the teen hoped this new woman worked out. Now, she’d just have to redouble her efforts to land Ms. Blick a boyfriend in time for Valentine’s.

“Sting me with a bee!” the matchmaker exclaimed.

Due to their mothers’ connection as past cheerleader captains, Lacey had known Shelly’s son, Penn Wexler, for nearly all her life. Charismatic and dashingly handsome, Penn had always seemed ripe to someday settle down with one of their mom’s daughters once he finished sowing his wild oats. Lacey had long viewed Penn as one of the few guys who could handle her older sister. Lana fit one part of his criteria as a cheerleader, but she didn’t meet the other requirement with her hair color. Blondes had always been Penn’s only choice for women.

Figuring the cheerleader fetish would fade with age, Lacey sought to burst his blonde bubble. With that goal in mind, she’d maneuvered Aubrey Dunford into his path tonight. A college senior with a messy love life, the brunette was known as a good time. She was Lacey’s first planned step in a series of baby steps for the twenty-year-old. Only Penn wasn’t showing serious interest in the flirty coed. No, the woman standing in his personal space was way older than Aubrey’s twenty-two years. The woman also had been targeted in another of Lacey’s matchmaking plans for the holiday.

“This is not happening,” the redhead vowed, making a beeline for the few inches that separated Penn and Hillary Swift.

“Hi, Ms. Swift! Where’s Rammy?” Lacey asked, nudging Penn back a step as she pushed in between them.

“Oh, hello, Lacey,” Hillary greeted, taken back by the sudden appearance of her daughter’s best friend. “Ramsey is serving her punishment by keeping an eye on Reed and Samson.”

“Oh, that’s too bad!” Lacey responded in an extra chipper voice. While she spoke, she covertly placed a hand behind her back to shove Penn away. “I guess you must be busy reporting on my dad, so I’ll let you get back to that.”

Hillary's expression turned to uncomfortable at the potential for awkwardness. That allowed Lacey to shove Penn again with an arm behind her back.

“Well, we’ll leave you to it,” the petite redhead repeated. “Penn’s mother is looking for him. Fortunately, he didn’t run off with some floozy as she suspected.”

“Ah, oh, yes. Well, have a good night,” Hillary said, turning to flee.

Lacey also turned. Now facing Penn, she gave him a hard shove with both hands.

“What’s wrong with you? She’s old enough to be your mom,” the teenager growled.

“No, she’s not,” Penn argued.

“Fine! She’s old enough if she had you when she was like fifteen. Dammit, Penn, I keep telling you to look at women besides blondes and cheerleaders, but I didn’t mean to go after old women.”

“And I told you that I don’t need you playing cupid for me,” the young man reminded.

"Obviously, you do!" Lacey shot back. "Where's Aubrey? You're supposed to be with her."

“Aubrey? Aubrey’s not my type.”

“She is now. She’s got fairly big boobs and likes to have fun. How is that not your type? So get back in the ballroom and find her!” Lacey ordered before suddenly changing her mind. “Check that. You’re going to get back in there and find a girl, not a mom, who isn’t blonde or a cheerleader.”

“Ah, come on, Lace! That doesn’t leave many,” Penn whined.

“I don’t care. Go find a dancer to change it up. Yeah, that’s it! Helen, Simone, Violet, and heck, even Teresa would work. Just stay away from blondes like Malin and Elin. Now, go!” Lacey commanded, sounding about as forceful as she could.

“Geez, who went and made you into Lana,” Penn complained, but he followed the ginger’s directions.

“Maybe it’s for the best that Reilly seems to have ended up with Ashlynn rather than Rammy’s mom,” Lacey mused aloud. Her mom’s cousin ending up with her mom’s secretary would make Rachel happy.

An additional reason to smile came from Becky Horton and Brian Weeks. The newly engaged couple looked to be headed upstairs. Upon seeing Lacey, Becky waved before motioning with her new ring at the matchmaker. Although disappointed at missing the engagement party earlier in the week, Lacey had the wedding to look forward to.

“What the beeswax?!”

Lacey's mood shifted from happiness for one couple to shock, annoyance, and finally anger at seeing a different, playful pair. Although Lacey couldn't place the first name of the Bottcher brother, she knew enough to know that Moose Point native was way too old for the teenager currently flirting with him. And when she saw the guy pull out a hotel keycard, the cheerleading highflyer sprung into action. Speed and agility honed by years of practice led Lacey to get there in time to snatch the keycard from his hand.

“I don’t think so.”

“Stay out of this,” the teenager snarled at the redhead.

“Quiet!” Lacey snapped before facing the older guy. “I don’t know which Bottcher brother you are, but I do know that you’re all in your late twenties. So you can have this back,” she continued, sliding the keycard into his front pocket to join his handkerchief.

“Lacey!”

“I said to be quiet!”

“I’m sorry. What’s the problem here?” Nameless Bottcher inquired.

“The problem is that my cousin won’t be joining you in your bed tonight. Cadence is not only sixteen, but her uncle also happens to be the district attorney. Get my drift?”

The angry sounds behind her didn't stop Lacey from watching as the older man's face went from confusion to shock and finally to horror.

“I-I didn’t know. I swear. Sh-She didn’t say anything.”

“Cadence also happens to be a notorious liar, but that wouldn’t stop my father from pressing charges against you. Okay, you can go.”

“Th-Thank you!”

“The hell! Why can’t you mind your own business?” Cadence practically screamed once Lacey turned to face her.

“Me? What the heck is wrong with you? He’s probably at least a dozen years too old for you. Gawd, can’t you develop better taste in men? What’s attractive about a redneck from the boonies?” Lacey rattled off with a disapproving expression.

“Taste? Like you with Austin?” Cadence struck back with a smirk.

“Oh, is Moose Point your new dating pool? Or do you want to sink lower? I bet you could find yourself an older pen pal with a felon up in Beakburg.”

“Gawd! Stopping being so melodramatic,” the sixteen-year-old scoffed.

“No, I’m being cautious. You know girls go missing up in Moose Point in those woods. Or do you want to be the subject of a true crime story? Cadence Aylward, the girl that went missing on a pig farm.”

“You…you bitch!”

“Cadence, get your bratty butt upstairs to the cheerleader sleepover. You need to learn to be part of a team, and I don’t have time to babysit you,” Lacey responded. “I’m going to message Beatrice, and if you’re not there in ten minutes–”

“I don’t have to do what you tell me. You’re not in charge of me.”

“Yes, you do. Not only am I your big cheersister, I’m also your cousin. Go before you get into bigger trouble.”

“Beatrice doesn’t have any control over me. Whitney? She’s not my boss either,” Cadence declared, standing up to her cousin.

“Oh, Cady, I’m not going to tattle on you to them. No, I’m going to go find Grandma. I’d hate to see her be even more disappointed in your attitude, and I really don’t want to watch your mom feel guilted into punishing you to save face.”

“I…I hate you!”

"I love you too," Lacey insisted sweetly. Then, she waited until after Cadence slammed a palm into the wall before storming off to say, "And you'll thank me someday."

The surly teenager responded with a middle finger salute.

Although sending Cadence off to join her squadmates was the best thing to do, Lacey did feel a little guilt for subjecting her friends to the furious jailbait. At the worst, Cat can handle her.

Finally entering the ballroom, Lacey scanned the thinning crowd for her family and Finn. She spotted a disconcerting sight first, leading her to scurry over. On the table in front of Winkie lay several bloody napkins. On either side of him were two of the Rogers triplets, Loren and Rowan. Several more out-of-town children of former cheerleaders were seated with them.

“Will, what happened? Are you okay?”

“He was just about to finally ask Yumi to dance when Oscar and the dumbfucks showed up,” Kessler recounted quietly, keeping to a low voice so that Winkie couldn’t hear.

“So they did show up. I heard they were headed this way,” Lacey revealed. She felt disappointed that Yumi and Will still hadn’t connected yet. They were perfect for each other in her mind.

"Yeah, but look at them," Kessler said, gesturing.

Lacey followed the motion to find all three Brawny Boys milling around while looking lost.

"It's like one of those nature shows. They don't know what to do with themselves without their pack leaders. Dempsey overhead them complaining that Oscar went to the bathroom and hasn't returned."

“Where’s Austin?” Lacey inquired.

“No clue. You hear what Bianca did to him?”

“I heard.”

“How’s your dad?” Dove Flavin, Cookie’s daughter, asked from her spot next to Rowan.

Lacey proceeded to fill everyone in on not only her father but also about the unexpected visitors to the hospital’s ER.

“Milner’s party was ruined? That’s too bad,” Winkie said.

“How the hell could they hurt Kip?” Kessler demanded to know, glaring over at the Brawny Boys. “It’s our job to keep the little guy safe. That’s what you do for the team managers.”

“Wait, so are you going to be okay, Will?” Lacey questioned again.

“It’s touch and go. I just had to turn down one of those dancers from Guzzle Crossing as I’m going to have to stay up and make sure that Wink doesn’t bleed out,” Kessler explained. “And you know what they say about girls from Guzzle Crossing.”

“Oh, no!” Lacey gasped, not about the Guzzle Crossing dancers.

“He’s bullshitting,” Lex Rogers countered, alerting Lacey to his presence. He and Kessler hadn’t hit it off as they’d been competing all night for girls. “Peyton brought that redheaded doctor over, and she said he’d be fine.”

"Well, if that's the case, you're good to hit up Quilla's afterparty in a little bit. She has her family's penthouse all to herself," Kessler explained.

However, Lacey missed that part as she gawked at a couple sitting near the next table over. She couldn’t be sure about the guy, but the girl straddling him was Marcie Huff. The tennis player had her tongue shoved far down his throat.

“Is that…”

“Paxson,” Phoebe Fawcett confirmed her seventeen-year-old brother’s identity.

Flummoxed by the revelation about the former Maura Afton’s shy son, Lacey glanced at the group. Loren threw up her hands as if to say they were all confused. While happy that Paxson was having some unlikely holiday fun, Lacey felt awful for two reasons. First, she regretted not spending more time tonight with this group. She didn’t see many of them that often. And second, her matchmaking plans had Marcie set up with Digg from the baseball team.

“What the honey?! Not one of my matchmaking plans has gone right tonight. Not one! That never happens.”

“Really? That’s weird,” Kessler responded.

“Maybe somebody is out to ruin them,” Lex joked, not knowing he’d come close to the truth.

“Now you sound like Fletcher,” Lacey replied, shaking her head at the absurd idea. While doing that, she finally spotted her mom.

Apologizing to the group, she headed toward Rachel and her friends. Her spirits perked up at spotting Peyton with them as well. Now, I just need to find Finn.

“Gabby?” Shayla repeated Rachel’s question. “I have no clue.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen her since right around the time you left for the hospital,” Maura recalled. It was a struggle as all the women were at least tipsy.

"Maybe Shelly or Cookie know," Shayla speculated, motioning to the two older cheerleaders dancing nearby to the third-to-last song of the night.

"Isn't it obvious? She and Jeff couldn't wait to bang in the new year," Lemon cracked. "Hey, Rach, check out that odd duo."

“Lauren and Monty?” Rachel exclaimed, noticing the wildly dancing pair.

“That’s nothing. Sabrina snuck off…and it was probably with Elliot Ridge,” Shayla revealed.

“No way!” Rachel exclaimed.

“Why is everyone so shocked? Sabrina’s big cheersister was Bridget. She definitely took after her back in the day,” Maura recounted.

“Speaking of taking after Bee, guess who made a scene? This one!” Shayla squealed, yanking Peyton over in front of Rachel.

“I did not make a scene,” Peyton stated with indignation.

Despite the denial, Shayla, Maura, and Lemon gave a blow-by-blow account of Spencer, Eoin, and Nate’s courtship dancing of Peyton. Lacey revealed her presence by squealing in delight at the possibilities. Rachel smiled at the blonde’s discomfort before asking about Tinsley’s reaction.

“Tinny? She’s not picking up,” Maura admitted.

“Either in bed with Ned or snoring away. She did sound fairly drunk earlier,” Lemon pointed out.

“It’s the latter. Ned’s still recovering from his heart scare,” Shayla reminded.

"Luckily, it was only a scare," Rachel stated before shifting topics. "Alright, let's get back to Finn. What precisely happened?"

“Finn? Did something happen to Finn? What happened?” Lacey blurted out, scanning Peyton's and the other women’s faces. Only one person could cause those expressions. “What did she do?”