Talk to Jimmy

I blinked again, trying to get my bearings. The kitchen had been outfitted with harsh, cheap fluorescent lights, a staple in houses aimed at students, and with my thoroughly enlarged pupils it really took a while for me to see okay.

“Mhmm, maybe more than you’d expect actually. I’m back from a rave…”

I shuffled over to the fridge, squinting as I searched for its magnet covered surface. Stolen memories told the stories of ones I focused on, a Seoul magnet from Sierra’s trip in the summertime, a goofy cartoon Frankenstein “I” had added, a polaroid of Jimmy and Alex suspended by one corner with a magnet of our university’s crest.

My heart felt a strange sinking pull, not quite sadness, but more a recognition of the friendship I had with Jimmy. We’d been close for years and years, friends long before University. We’d even planned to come to the same college together, far away from our hometown, looking for a fresh start.

If there was anyone who would accept me, it would be him…

Memories of earlier flowed back to me, the torn look on his face as I’d revealed my secret. Of course, his indecisive reaction had bummed me out, but really, what kind of sensible person would react any other way? Finding out your friend is becoming a monster, and not least of all one so viscerally disturbing.

It would have been stranger if he’d fully accepted me, really… although at least it wasn't total rejection either.

Even with the sadness, the realistic knowledge that he may still reject me, I didn’t want to give up on him. I couldn’t. Not after being such a good friend for all these years…

At least he didn't kick me from his life outright.

“Mmm, hmmm. A rave, huh? No wonder you’re having a hard time with the lights.”

He laughed a little to himself, but it was as affectionate as it was knowing. And then, a moment later, the harsh overhead fluorescent were put out, and replaced with the much more merciful side lamp in the corner.

“Phew, thanks…”

It felt like I was letting go of a breath I didn’t know I was holding, the lower light being a hundred times more comfortable.

Being Rachel really does feel like being a vampire girl. Actually…

Hearing my voice there, as I showed my appreciation to Jimmy… it’d given me an idea. I spun on the platform heel of my Demonias, leaning against the countertop, subtly taking pleasure from how much more plush my ass felt even as my thoughts mainly were focused on Jimmy.

“So, what’s going on partner?”

“Are you a cowgirl now?”

“Well… not yet, but probably in a few minutes…”

“What?”

“Oh, ahem, nothing, never mind. I was more asking how you’re doing. I mean, you already know why I’m up, getting home so late, getting water from the fridge. Out raving, living the fun party lifestyle college kids dream of. But you, you’re up at this time and you’re not even drinking. Or with anyone either.”

He laughed sheepishly, though there was a certain chastened humility to his tone.

“I mean… it’s not a crime, is it?”

“Not a crime, no… but mayyybe a source of concern. If I’m a vampire, you’re looking a little like a zombie~”

Hearing Rachel’s voice leave my lips, sounding so teasing, I couldn’t help but shiver with satisfaction. Even in a situation like this, it was so satisfying playing her role. Jimmy laughed too, which made me happy. He seemed to get on well with Rachel, even if they didn’t really know each other than well yet.

It seemed like he was thinking for a minute, weighing up whether to tell me what was going on with him. He really did look rough; his eyes had a constrained, haunted look, and he looked like he was under pressure. Is that how I would have reacted, if the situations had been reversed…?

“Well… okay. I suppose I can tell you. I guess if I’m the hero you’re like, my spirit guardian, just one who looks a bit scary?”

“Thank you.”

“What?”

It’s way too fun playing the role of the teasing, spooky loving goth girl.

“No, no, go on. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Jimmy nodded, thinking for a second, before continuing.

“Okay, so I have this friend…”

“A friend. Mhmm, hmm.”

“Y-yeah, yeah, a friend. And this friend recently had someone he was very close to, like, their best friend, I guess, come out and tell them something really shocking.”

I nodded along.

“So, you get what I’m saying?”

“Ehh, no. Not really. You’re going to have to give me something more to go on than ‘something really shocking’. Did the ‘best friend’ kill someone? Have they been selling mephedrome to children?”

“Ahh, no, no! Nothing like that!”

“That’s a relief, at least…”

Jimmy thought for a moment, failing at making any kind of poker face to hide how he was feeling. I wasn’t sure if it was just because he was tired, or my earlier revelation had seriously gotten to him.

“So… I guess, they’ve kinda changed a lot recently. They had a big announcement, a really shocking one, I guess about their identity and the person they’re becoming. I didn’t see it coming, but then, who could have?”

Hmm, good job, Jimmy…

I had to commend him, he’d found an interesting way to phrase his dilemma, one that sounded entirely plausible and still quite normal, even as it approximately described the situation. I could use this to my advantage.

“I think I know what’s going on.”

“You do?”

Jimmy sounded a little startled, as I walked closer and sat on the chair across from him, smoothing out my skirt.

“Yeah. Listen, Jimmy, this kind of thing happens all the time, all over the world.”

I reached out, laying my hands on his, catching him blushing a little at my sudden touch. Internally, my ego swelled a little with satisfaction; I don’t think I’d ever get tired of the power I seemed to exert over people when I was wrapped up tight in the skin of a beautiful woman.

“I… I mean, I guess it probably is. There’s no way of knowing just how widespread it is, but it could be loads of people.”

“The important thing you need to think about is how you feel in relation to the other person. Are they still your friend? Maybe how they act, or even how they look and sound might change, but will they still be your best friend at their essence?”

“You mean, will they still be my friend’s best friend after all the changes?”

I rolled my eyes.

“Yes… your ‘friend’. Listen, I know change can be scary… but sometimes we don’t have a choice in the matter. Sometimes things have to change for a person, and there’s no way forward if they don’t. So even if that’s scary for all the people around them it’s probably just as scary for the person themselves.”

Jimmy seemed to think about my words, contemplating everything I was saying.

“You’re right… it… it must be terrifying for them.”

“I guess the best thing is to have an open mind, and remember that they are your friend. They wouldn’t have told you if they didn’t trust you enough to share their secret. And whatever it is, it can’t be that bad really. Earth is just a grain of sand on the beach of the universe, after all. In the grand scheme of things, nothing really matters.”

In a sense, I was downplaying the situation, although I couldn’t exactly let Jimmy know I was much more aware than the face I wore suggested. After all, finding out the hot goth girl listening to your problems is just being worn like a cheap suit by the same guy you’re talking about didn’t exactly invite a lack of concern.

“Yeah, you’re right. Except about that weird nihilistic bit at the end.”

Jimmy laughed, but he truly did seem more thoughtful and relaxed after listening to that.

“Thanks Rachel. You know, you’re a lot more mature than you look.”

“What, just because my make-up is all crazy and I dress wild I can’t be mature?”

“Okay, okay, sorry for my prejudice!”

“You’d better be sorry!”

We both laughed as I stood, grabbing the water bottles from the fridge.

“Anyway, look, Jimmy. Why don’t you sleep on it? Things will be clearer in the morning. Nothing overly good comes from deep thinking about your life beyond 9pm anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah, I guess so. You’re going to sleep too? Wait…”

His eyes narrowed at all the water I was carrying, before he just rolled them.

“You know what? Never mind. Just… try not to have too much fun.”

I giggled a little, embarrassed as I left the room, before climbing the stairs.

Ohh, wow… that was such a weird feeling at the end there. So embarrassed, but so… exciting. It feels really naughty or forbidden or something… my best friend for years teasing me about going to have sex with a guy…

There was some strange, bizarre happiness twisting in my heart, a euphoria I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It really did feel liberating, well, that and the fun of playing Rachel’s goth girl role so well.

I’m… I’m actually really glad I came here tonight. It feels like a weight off my shoulders, telling Jimmy the truth. And after talking to him as Rachel, I think I was able to steer him in a more positive direction too. And the rave, dancing, everything I did with Heather… God, I think I love being Rachel.

Now, as I stood at the door to “my” bedroom, I was reminded of another pleasure I still had to take tonight…