Off-label Oppurtunity

Sitting at his desk, Paul puts on the final touches of his makeup for what feels like the hundredth time through the tutorial video. He’s still not sure how Katie got such better results, but he’s definitely no Da Vinci, or even Mona Lisa. Regardless, it reminds him of the discussion with Katie yesterday about his vocal training and her contact with the prosthetic manufacturer making things for the event.

Picking up his phone, he dials in the number for the shop Katie gave him. After several rings, the call connects, and Paul can only make out a garbled “Hello”. Paul tries to continue “Hi. This is Paul. My friend Katie has been working with you on an order for Halloween and mentioned you might be able to help with some other things.”

Paul had to listen really close, but he could only make out “Warehouse.... connection.... text online.” Paul got a text with a linktree URL that has about 5 different contact links. “Okay, I’ll uh... try your Skype link.” The call then disconnects from the other end.

Paul sets up a connection with the contact to “NiXa Enhancements” and introduces himself as “Paul, Katie’s friend”. Within moments his Skype starts ringing for an incoming call from NiXa and he accepts it. Paul is immediately granted with a video feed of two young men grinning happily as they both seem to lean into the camera’s view.

“OMG, Paulie!!!! It’s so great to meet you!!! We’ve heard so much from Katie and we really excited to get your pieces out for your trick or treating!!!” The first practically squeals out with a gigantic grin.

The other one chuckles at the first and calmly responds, “Hi, Paul, I think what my enthusiastic partner is trying to say is we’re really happy to work with Katie again and glad she brought you in. I’m Xane & that ball of bouncing energy is Nico.” To which Nico playfully smacks Xane’s shoulder. “Thanks for taking our call online; the cell reception in our warehouse is shit.”

Nico just rolls his eyes at Xane, “anyway! I’m glad to see your diving into this even if it is early stages its really worth practicing.” You can tell Nico his biting back something as he tries to tactfully bring up, “are you looking for some tips or help with your uh... make or... hair, hun?”

Suddenly Paul realizes that the video call is two way, and they can see his made-up face. Shocked, his eyes shoot out large and stumbles out, “Um, sorry, I uh, no, I,” before he turns off the camera.

Xane turns to Nico and incredulously punches him in the shoulder much harder than the slap he received earlier. For his part, Nico looks positively dejected, “Oh, hun! I meant nothing by that! No judgement here! You look beautiful; I just know Katie said you needed some help and you’d be reaching out. I’m sorry I stuck my foot in my mouth. Come on; let me see those sparklingly blue eyes!”

“Seriously,” Xane interjects, “we work with people in all manner of states, and trust me when I say, you’re already looking better than 90% of our transitioning clients. You seem to be doing really well. We would love to talk to you face to face, but if you’re uncomfortable with it, we totally respect that.”

Paul knew they’d already seen everything, and they’re on the other side of the country, so it's not like he’d see them anytime soon. Obviously, they’re aware of his work towards the Halloween party since they’re making the breast forms, so no harm at this point. As Trainer Bill keeps pointing out, he needs to get more comfortable with it, so he might as well. Turning his camera on, he tentatively looks at the screen.

“There’s the pretty babe!” Xane calls out with a smile.

“I might have to fight you for this beauty, Xane,” Nico cattily continues playfully with Xane. Paul chuckles at the obviously exaggerated compliments, but still bites his lip a bit as a blush comes up to his cheeks while he brushes some hair behind his ear.

“I’m sure she’s taken, Nic,” Xane countered but continued with, “besides, I’m sure we could share if she were so inclined.”

Paul’s eyes got huge with surprise by the comment of sharing him between the two of them. Nico actually shuts down this line seeing the discomfort of the client growing, “I think that’s enough for now; we don’t need to scare the MILF away.” Turning back to the client with all smiles, Nico continued, “so, what is it we can help you with? Any friend of Katie’s is a star client of hours!”

Paul was trying to wrap his head around the ‘MILF’ comment before he realized the silence was because he was asked a question. Shaking his head out of that interruptive sidetrack, Paul attempts to respond, “uh, well, as you mentioned I’m still working on my appearance for Halloween, and ya’ll are making some.. accessories to help with that. And Katie has already volunteered to contribute her artistic skills to this rough canvas.” Paul gestures to his face and gets more comfort in just getting lost in rambling on rather than thinking too deeply into what it all really means. “And I have a trainer helping me with my walk and movements, but I still have this gaping hole of my voice.”

Nico and Xane were both really impressed with her commitment to work so hard at this in a relatively short time frame; they were both questioning how much she really was only doing this once like Katie suggested & how likely it was, she was using this as launching point to open part of herself.

“I think your voice is lovely, hun,” Nico countered.

“Thank you, uh, Nico, but I hardly think anyone is going to confuse me for a woman sounding like this.”

“Well, no, but I doubt anyone is going to kick you out of bed with that either,” Nico replied. Xane was afraid that was a bit too frank again and jumped in, “what I think Nic is trying to say is that you may not sound like a woman, but you don’t sound like a whiskey drinking bike or something.”

Paul chuckled a bit at their back and forth, “well, thank you... I think. But I’m trying to be as convincing as possible and I’ve been trying various online videos & tutorials for weeks, but I just can’t help sounding like a guy using falsetto. I’ve been reaching out for assistance from possible avenues and when I talked to Katie, she mentioned ya’ll might be able to point me in the right direction.”

Nico and Xane looked at each other with a conspiratorial look and shrugged their shoulders. “The spray?” Xane offered to Nico for confirmation.

“It was your find, X. Not sure how she would have known about it.”

Paul could see the two timidly shrugging at each other, “Um, what spray?”

Nico shot Xane a look and gestured at the camera.

Xane took a deep breath and turned to the camera, “k. There is something some... friends... stumbled on recently. It's not exactly ‘illegal’, but it's not an open market product.”

Paul isn’t totally against recreational **** or things mommy gov says are ‘bad’, but Xane isn’t exactly instilling confidence in him. “I was really expecting just training or instructors out there to help, but I wasn’t aware of **** or anything. As long as it's not addictive or permanently damaging, I’m willing to hear it.”

Hearing she was okay with **** and not some narc, “its not like a miracle **** or anything. See, when the whole pandemic first broke out, they were seeing issues with blood vessels in the lungs opening up too much excess fluid in the lungs. They were having a hard time getting something to just close up those ends, so from what I understand, this pharmaceutical had an idea to aerosolize a muscle constrictor. Considering the global pandemic and the shotgun approach that everyone was taking, they manufactured thousands of inhalers for these things.”

Paul was really suspicious how some **** for the lungs was going to help with his voice, but he kept listening with a very critical eye.

Xane could see he was losing the audience quickly, so he sped up, “well, they got approval to try it but not only was that symptom as widespread as they thought it might be, their spray was pretty much useless at combating it.”

“So, a useless **** that doesn’t work. How is this supposed to help me talk like a chick?”

“The company called for it to all be destroyed, but see, one of the researchers observed an uncanny side effect no one expected. When someone would use it, their vocal cords absorbed a large portion of the **** and would temporarily constrict dramatically changing the patients’ pitch. A dying patient wasn’t thrilled with this effect, and it was mostly harmless, so it was just discounted as yet another reason to not let this thing see the light of day.”

“So, what, you have a few vials of this failed **** is what you’re trying to tell me?”

Nico looked at Xane and incredulously spurred him on, “it was your bright idea and you’ve come this far. You tell her the ‘few vials’ we now have to hide.”

Xane took a deep breadth, “I got a few cases of it.”

“*Cases*?!?” Paul exclaimed.

“It was cheaper than you think. They were supposed to be destroyed but with the short staff and loose standards people were having, if the person responsible for burning them was leaving with empty containers to take to the plant & burning the contents, or running the incinerator empty & storing cases in the back of their van, not many people were checking the paperwork back & forth. The problem was having a few cases of technically non-existent **** that seems like a mild form of breathing helium is really hard to offload for just a lowly lab worker. Finding the right clientele was the goal.”

“Ya, and selling to the right ‘clientele’ is pretty stupid for someone who has a legit business,” Nico gripped.

“I’m assuming I can’t find any research on this ‘****’ out there?” Paul asked feeling like he was somewhere between snake oil and bottled tap water sales pitch at this point.

“No”

“Would it be possible to get a demonstration?”

Turning to each other, Nico responded, “this is your side business, don’t look at me to be your barbie demo to save your ass.”

Xane sighed heavily, “I’ll be right back,” as he went off camera.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Nico’s demeanor changed completely. “OMG!! This stuff is unreal! I just have to give him shit because I can’t encourage this reckless shit. There are a few things to keep in mind about. If you’re up for using it, which, hun, you would be like 95% to total babe if you did. It only lasts for about 4 hours. It’s working and then suddenly it’s not. Using it for like once or twice a day is okay, if you take a couple days break every 4 or 5 days. But one of our friends was transitioning and used it for every day as long as she was up and after like 3 weeks, it just totally stopped working & her voice was like somewhere between a teenage nerd guy and a lunch lady. And she had a such a pretty voice before.”

“I don’t want to screw up my voice.”

“Oh!! Sorry, that was just a cautionary tale against constant use. We have several that use it like once or twice a day for their drag shows for the past 6 months, and they just do 2 days off and they’ve been great. Its really unreal!” Nico was practically bouncing before suddenly shifting to sullen, “Xane’s almost back.”

Sitting down, Paul could see what looked like an asthma inhaler in his hand. Nico keep up the incredulous act, “well, show your ‘wonder’ ****, Xane. The floor is all yours.”

Taking a deep breath, Xane said, “Okay, here goes.” Bringing the tool up to his mouth, he breathed out, wrapped his lips around the outtake, pressed down with and audible ‘hiss’ as he breathed in and just held his breath.

Nico helpfully filled the silence, “it ‘works’ best if you hold it in for a bit and then slowly let it out bit by bit.” At which point, Xane seemed to slowly let out small pulses of air before finally breathing normally.

“Don’t leave the poor girl in suspense. Let him hear your new lilt.” Nico encouraged.

“Well, what do you think?” Xane spoke and sounded like he turned on a high-quality voice filter to shift him to a woman’s voice.

For his part, Paul sat there floored with what he heard his mouth opened in complete surprise. “That’s just some filter. It's got to be.”

“Nope, it's all ‘him’, trust me,” Nico assured.

“It is hard to believe, but this shit really works. I’m stuck like this for like 4 hours though.” Xane responded.

“It's a great hit on the floor, let me tell you,” Nico continued to tease.

Paul, still skeptical, had an idea to try, “K, this seems too fantastical believe. I’m going to type something in the chat. Nico, could you count to three and then the two of you say it together so I can see it's not a filter?”

“Oooo! I love that idea! Go for it, babe!” Nico volunteers for both of them.

“Alright, here you go.” Paul said as he put it in chat.

After the demonstration, Paul was absolutely amazed that there was clearly no change for Nico and obviously Xane sounded like his sister, but everything else sounded real. This could be the answer he was looking for. The price for a couple of vials, while higher than most over the counter throat sprays, this was not the most he’d seen paid for ‘undocumented’ medications.

“Okay. Lets do this I guess.”

Nico visibly jumps and claps his hands, “awesome!! I know you’ll be thrilled! Also, I’m going to put a few care package goodies in with it as well. You don’t mind if I put some of the rejects or old surplus stuff in for her, do you?”

“No, it’s fine.” Paul was still amazed at how different the pitch coming out of the bearded mouth was than earlier in the day. He was sure it was some kind trick, but he’d test it out when it got here. “Also, there are a few caveats,” Xane started.

“Oh, don’t worry, Nico went over those while you were getting the spray,” Paul interjected.

Nico was a little surprised she answered for him, but whatever, his funeral if he didn’t want to hear it again. Nico was trying to remember if he really covered it all, but was quickly distracted by remembering the mismatched plus sized tits they couldn’t seem to sell for any discount. Shipping them off would at least be worth the cost of shelf space; Xane would easily sign off on that too. There had to be some outfits that would fit too.

Seeing his business partner was lost in his latest scheme, Xane figured it was all taken care of. “We’ll get this shipped out today so you can verify it will work for you and get used to it in plenty of time.” Xane took another deep sigh, “goodness knows I’m still not used to it. Thank you again for reaching out to us! We really are looking forward to the final product & hope to hear good feedback from the day of!”

“Me, too!! Thank you both so much for your help!!”

Disconnecting the call, Paul practically skipped grabbing a small brunch before floating through work on ecstatic cloud 9, excited to try out the final piece of his costume puzzle. He considered bring it up to Trainer Bill during their session, but he didn’t want to talk about the absurdity if it turned into nothing, so he figured he would wait until it came in. As it was, he was particularly chipper during the whole session leaving Bill especially pleased with his progress.

Even Molly enjoyed the ecstatic excitement with a rousing romp as he devoured her delectable delightfulness before penetrating her pleasurable pussy into peaceful sleep.