Day 1 as a whore

Gabriel opened the sliding door of the beat-up white Nissan minivan, and Daniel and I stepped into the back. He slid the door shut behind us before climbing into the front cab.

As we raced down the main drag of the small shitty concrete town, Gabriel's thuggish henchman weaved the van in and out of the traffic. We drove out of the town and into the countryside, slicing through a patchwork of yellow fields of rapeseed and sunflowers.

After a few hours, we reached the foothills of the Carpathian Mountains and continued to climb towards the misty heavens. The peaks were desolate deserts of rocks and boulders, but below were luscious green river valleys with endless white burbling rapids. The sun was ablaze, and I could hear birdsong echoing through the open window whenever the van slowed for a sharp corner. The air smelt fresh and felt cool on my skin. My kind of weather.

Yet all the beauty in the world couldn't free me from depression.

My pending doom felt all-consuming. I had lost control of my life and didn't know how I was going to get it back. Sick with fear, the thought of not being in charge of my destiny deeply unsettles me.

Dan was at my side, holding my hand. He squeezed it and whispered, "Love you no matter what."

"You shouldn't. I fucked up bad."

"I do. I still believe in you. Believe in us."

I felt myself begin to tear up for what must have been the tenth time since the accident. "I don't deserve your love. Not anymore."

"What? 'Course you fuckin do. After all you've done for me over the years. Being the breadwinner and my inspiration." Despite the **** circumstances, Daniel managed a brief snigger. "Despite your almighty fuck up." He raised my hand to his lips and kissed it. "I know you have a pure soul."

"I fled the scene of a crime, Dan. That's unforgivable."

"That will stay with you forever." Daniel glances away for a moment before meeting my eyes once more. "But being in jail for twenty years is unthinkable."

"I think most will see it as justice."

"We need to trust Gabi."

I held tightly to Daniel's hand. "But how can we? He hasn't given me a contract."

"Even if he did, how do we know it's worth the paper it's written on?"

"True." I realised I should have asked for one before getting in the van, but I was **** to escape jail. I had lost my cool and wasn't thinking straight. " But I'm going to ask him for one."

"We need a plan." Dan continued to speak softly so his words were out of range of Gabriel, who sat in the front passenger seat. "Lay low for a little while, do what they ask you to do. Earn their trust. But when you know how the land lies. How things work." Dan's blue eyes widened, his face still kind. "That's when you start using your intelligence. Show them your true worth."

"Sounds easy."

"And that's when you do what you always do. Fly to the top and start running the fuckin' show."

“I’ll try.” My cheeks lift a faint smile. I've always liked Daniel's enthusiasm. It’s one of things that attracted me to him. "Love you."

"Team Murphy, yeah?"

We bumped fists. "Team Murphy."

The minivan continues to climb up the winding roads until we get to a small out-of-season ski resort, where we veered off into a single-track lane. We climb for another mile before coming to a large, secluded compound. The walls are high like medieval ramparts, and the gates open to a harsh electronic buzz that makes me feel like a prisoner.

Which I am.

It suddenly hits me that I may never see the outside again. I look over the backrest, peering through the rear window. The mountains are beautiful. The green forests are so vivid. I watch a hawk glide the thermals among the vast blueness. To think I was once free.. And how much I took it for granted.

The inside of the compound is opposite to its austere exterior. It’s how I imagined an Ibiza bar to be. Thumping dance music bounces off the walls while dozens of young, scantily clad-women lounge around a designer pool. Their bare skin is on show despite the temperature being less than warm. Men, loads of men. Most with tattoos, some drunk, all lingering, looking sinister. Not a kind face amongst them.

Gabriel rubs his hands together as the minivan pulls to a stop. “Home sweet home.”

The door slides open. A shiver runs down my spine as I step out of the minivan. Gabriel grabs my hand and leads me to a tall blond woman wearing a green bikini and a sarong. “This is Katheryn, she speaks some English, and will take you to get ready.”

I gesture for Dan to follow me, but Gabriel pulls him back by his shoulder, which causes my husband to wince. Gabriel notices Daniel is uncomfortable. "Seen a doctor?"

"Just a woman at the police station. She looked more like a cleaner than a nurse."

"I'll take you to a doctor."

Gabriel looks at me and points towards the villa. "Preeti. Get ready. We will see you later."

Kathryn barks. "Come." She leads the way, strutting on her neck-breaker heels. We walk between tables covered in beer bottles and shot glasses. And I can see small packets of tablets and white powder, which I guess is cocaine.

We enter the villa, that in a past life could have been a house to a wealthy banker. It's large, spacious and surprisingly bright inside, with plenty of windows and airy balconies.

I follow Katheryn to a softly lit changing room full of mirrors and wardrobes. The room smells of a mix of cheap perfumes and is a total mess of clothes and makeup. If I didn't know any better, it could be the bedroom of a lazy teen. Saying that, half the women here look no older than twenty-one. So my comparison stands.

Kathryn crosses her arms and leans against the wall. "Dress sexy." I can see bruises on her wrists, and she is dead in the eyes. Though naturally beautiful, she looks worn out. "Why you look at me? Get dressed."

"How do I know what to wear? Which clothes can I choose from?" It suddenly dawns on me that I have no idea where my belongings are." I haven't brought any clothes with me."

"I can see. Just choose."

"Anything?"

She sounds annoyed, petulant "Yes. Quick."

"OK. OK."

"We can share." Kathryn opens a cupboard drawer. "New underwear in 'ere. Condoms and, erm. 'ow you say? Oils."

I glance over and see Kathryn holding a small pink tube." Lubricants."

"Thank you."

I sniff my armpit. "I need a shower. Where is it?"

"Shower is in the back." Kathryn points towards a door. "There. But we 'av to be outside at eight."

Living in a daze, I had lost track of the time and days. But I see the clock on the wall. "Great. An hour." I usually take double that. "I'll be quick as possible."

Under the hot water my skin crawls, I hate sharing bathrooms and showers. But I suppose I'm going to have to change my ways. A prudish whore is as much use as a vagina in the Vatican.

See, I'm picking up the dirty lingo already. I've always been a natural linguist.

I step out in the only dry towel I find. Kathryn has taken out a dress and underwear in the changing room for me. "Put these on."

"How do you know they will fit me?"

"Just do it. We have no time left." Kathryn cleared space for me at the dresser. "Makeup fast." She watches me dress like a mother observing her child getting ready for school. "We go shopping tomorrow, buy your clothes. OK?"

"Yes."

Kathryn patrols the room while I paint my face in the mirror. But as I get ready in double-quick time, I sense her slowly relax. Her cheeks raise an honest grin. "Me. You. We can be friends, yes?"

"Yes." I smile. It was the first time someone had said something nice. "That would be good." I wanted to believe Kathryn, but knew I shouldn’t. Not yet. While applying mascara, in the reflection of the mirror, I watch Kathryn take a small bag of cocaine from her handbag. I don’t say anything.

"The Englishman. Is 'e your 'usband?"

"Yes."

"''aving your 'usand 'ere." She takes a stool beside me and starts cutting lines of cocaine on an upturned vanity mirror using a bank card. "That might be problematic."

"I know."

"You and 'im must be strong." Kathryn uses a metal straw and snorts the coke. "Gabriel, he will play games with you." She winces and rubs her nose. "He's a bastard."

"What about the money? Does Gabi pay what he owes?"

"Most of the time. Work 'ard. He cares for 'is favourites."

"Good." I was about to ask how Kathryn ended up here and where she was from, but realised it would lead to her asking me the same.

Kathryn raises from her stool, fixes her large fake breasts in her dress then watches me put the final touches to my plumb-coloured lipstick. "Let's go."

Staring into the mirror, I stand and take a couple of steps back in heels that are too high so I can see myself in a dress that's too short. I hate the way I look. It's too tight, and I'm showing off too much skin. I look like a tart. A slut. But I look the part I'm here to play. Yet I also feel down, because back in my student days I modelled part time and earned a good living. Sadly , my reflection tells me those days are long gone. I’m not yet old mutton, but I beginning to turn into my mum.”

Kathryn wraps her arm around my waist, gives me a squeeze. “You look hot.”

“I don’t.”

Kathry takes a healthy swig from a bottle of vodka before handing It to me. “’ave a drink, you'll need it.” I hate vodka but agree take a mouthful of the harsh medicine. Her heels clip the floor tiles as she heads for the door. “Let’s go.”

Kathryn leads me out of the villa onto the colonnaded veranda. We gaze upon the compound, which is now one giant dancefloor full of undesirables and questionable characters. It reminds me of my student days when I was still exploring adulthood. My friends and I would visit the clubs on the wrong side of town, a place that felt a world away from my sheltered British Asian upbringing.

Only. Back then, when things kicked off, I was free to leave.

I approach Kathryn and raise my voice over the pulsing electronic music. “Is it like this all the time?”

“In the summer, yes. The Dargos like to party.”

“What do we do?”

“Dance.” She takes my hand and leads me into the sea of sweaty people. “Excite the men.”

“And what if they touch?”

“Play along.” Kathryn drapes her arms over my shoulders, and we sway in time with the music. She gazes into my eyes. Her pupils are dilated from cocaine, but I see little joy inside. Ultimately, one can’t hide their sadness, no matter how hard one might try. I have only known her a few hours, but her quiet moments give her secrets away. Kathryn is often deep in thought, dreaming about another life. I wonder what her tale is, but do I want to know?

After all, she has yet to ask why I’m here.

Kathryn’s arms slowly fall down my flanks, tracing the skin of my bare arms with her ruby fingernails. I close my eyes to the sensation. But open them to her rouge lips that glisten under flashing lights. I try to focus on the music, feeling the beats and trying to forget my impossible situation. But eyes are upon me. I can feel the stares. People must know I’m new, I look around we have an audience of hungry men.

Kathryn pulls me close. Our bodies come together. Her chest presses against mine, and I feel her breath on my ear as she whispers, Relax. I’ve got you.”

Not expecting to hear such words, my reply catches in my throat. I can only deliver a grateful smile.

Kathryn leans in and rests her lips on mine. We kiss in between smiles. I feel myself warming to her and clinging to the only good person I have found in this place. As we continue to dance, I don’t want to let go of fear of drowning amongst the waves of unknown faces. Without Kathryn, I am ****. And all this for a woman I had only met a few hours before. My dependency surprises me, but It’s a sign of desperation.

I’m like a child. It shocks me how far I have fallen in such a short time.

I’ve not forgotten about Daniel. Of course, I haven’t. He will remain my greatest source of strength. But Kathryn is a woman I need to learn from to survive.

We suddenly have company. I feel someone behind me. Kathryn also has male attention. We dance as a group, but I try to ignore the newcomers.

A hairy arm snakes around my waist and pulls me backwards so my backside presses against his crotch. I feel his beery breath on my cheek as we grind together. I guess this is the start of my night shift. I look at Kathryn for reassurance and guidance. She only offers a fleeting smile before turning to face her new partner.

I continue to sway in time but don’t turn to face him. It’s as if not looking at him means it could all be a nightmare. Nothing but a bad dream I could wake up from. His shovel-like hands head south, and rest on my hips. His touch is firm and confident. I feel his right hand suddenly shoots under the front of my dress.

I freeze.

He grabs my vagina. Holds it tight while his other hand moves up my stomach towards my chest.

My fear turns into panic. I can hear nothing but pressure waves.

The man growls something in Romanian. He begins rubbing me through my panties. His fat chubby fingers working me back and forth, then round and round.

I'm screaming on the inside. But my body betrays me, and I feel myself melt over his fingers.

Tears well in my eyes and I fear crying with shame.

Nobody helps me.

His fingers contiune to rub my pussy. His free hand grabs my left breast so hard, that he causes me you yell.

This time he speaks in English. "You like it, don't you?"

~

The choice is yours. Vote

1) Yes, I like it.

2) Break away and run

3) Break away and dance (delay tactics)

4) Other

Like most writers, I thrive on feedback. Please leave your thoughts in the comments or inbox me if you want to chat. I don't mind criticism or suggestions as long as they are constructive. I love and implore contributions from fellow authors or those brave enough to try.