Continued Training

It's been a week since I started living as Jazmine, and I must admit that it hasn't been easy. Sure, Clea and her team have been very helpful in training me, but it still feels wrong and unnerving to be living as a woman. Every time I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I can't help but feel like I'm looking at a stranger.

I've been wearing a corset 24/7, and the diet has been tough. I never realized how much I enjoyed my usual foods until I couldn't have them anymore. It's been a challenge to get used to wearing makeup every day and doing my hair, but I'm slowly getting the hang of it.

But the hardest part has been dealing with my thoughts and emotions. I can't help but think of myself as Jazmine now, and it's confusing and overwhelming. The thoughts of Jackson and being a straight male still linger in the back of my mind, making me feel guilty for enjoying the attention that Jazmine gets.

I talked to Clea about it, and she was understanding, but firm. "You need to fully embody Jazmine if you want to be convincing as her on screen," she told me. "It's not just about the physical appearance, but also about the mindset. You have to believe that you are Jazmine Jade."

I know she's right, but it's easier said than done. Every time I interact with someone as Jazmine, I feel like I'm putting on an act, like I'm not being true to myself. It's a strange feeling, like I'm living in two different worlds at once.

But I can't deny that there are some aspects of being Jazmine that are enjoyable. The attention and compliments that I get as her are nice, and I have to admit that the designer clothes that Clea took me shopping for are pretty amazing. I never realized how much I liked the feeling of silk against my skin.

Overall, it's been a challenging week, but I know that I need to keep pushing myself if I want to succeed as an actress. I just hope that one day, I can fully embrace Jazmine without feeling like I'm betraying who I really am.

As I continued my intense training to become Jazmine Jade, the thought of being her still made me feel uneasy. I was beginning to get used to the corset and the diet, but the thought of being a woman was still foreign to me. I couldn't shake off the thought of being Jackson, a straight male, in the back of my head.

One day, during our training, a Hollywood guest arrived unexpectedly. It was Michael Kors, and Clea was quick to introduce me as Jazmine Jade. I tried to act natural, but it was challenging to keep up the act.

"Hello, Jazmine. I must say, you look stunning," Michael said, looking me up and down. "I'm impressed by your appearance and would love to discuss possible future projects with you."

I felt a mix of emotions, from pride to discomfort. Part of me was thrilled that someone like Michael Kors was interested in me, while the other part of me felt uncomfortable with the attention. I had to remind myself that I was Jazmine now, not Jackson.

"Thank you so much, Michael. It would be an honor to work with you," I replied, trying to sound confident.

After some small talk, Michael left, leaving me feeling both relieved and anxious. I was relieved that the encounter went well, but anxious about the prospect of working with someone as prominent as Michael Kors.

"Wow, Jazmine. That was impressive. You handled yourself very well," Clea said, breaking the silence.

"Thanks. I'm just glad it's over," I replied, feeling drained.

As the day went on, I couldn't help but think about the encounter with Michael Kors. Part of me was excited about the possibility of working with him, but the other part of me was still uncomfortable with the idea of being Jazmine Jade.

It was a particularly difficult day of training with Clea. She was being especially hard on me, pointing out every single mistake I made. It felt like no matter what I did, I couldn't get it right. I was feeling frustrated and exhausted, and I couldn't help but let out a sigh of defeat.

Clea snapped at me, "What was that, Jazmine? You're supposed to be the seductive actress, not a bored housewife." I could hear the annoyance in her voice. "I've been working with you for days, and you still can't even keep your feminine posture straight. We need to get you into shape if we want you to make it in Hollywood."

I knew she was right, but I was feeling overwhelmed. I needed a break, but Clea didn't seem to care. She was a strict taskmaster, and she wasn't going to go easy on me. I could feel tears prickling at the corners of my eyes, but I tried to blink them away.

But it was too late, Clea had already noticed. She put a hand on my shoulder, and I could feel the weight of her gaze on me. "What's wrong, Jazmine?"

I hesitated before answering, "It's just that… this is all so new to me, Clea. I'm trying my best, but it's not easy to switch between Jackson and Jazmine. It's like I'm having an identity crisis."

Clea gave me a stern look. "You don't have an identity crisis, Jazmine. You're an actor, and this is part of the job. You need to leave your old self behind and embrace your new persona."

I nodded, but I knew it wasn't that simple. It was hard to just turn off my old self, to suppress my thoughts and feelings as Jackson. But before I could say anything else, Clea had something else to say.

"From now on, I will only talk to you as Jazmine. I don't want to hear about Jackson's feelings or troubles. You are Jazmine Jade, the stunning young woman who's going to make it big in Hollywood. Got it?"

I was stunned. This was a punishment, and a harsh one at that. I could feel myself slipping further away from Jackson and becoming more and more like Jazmine. I knew I had to go along with it if I wanted to make it in Hollywood, but it felt like I was losing a part of myself.

"Yes, Clea," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. And with that, Clea continued our training, but I couldn't help feeling like I was losing myself in the process.

The next day, I wake up early in the morning, feeling like Jazmine instead of Jackson. The corset, tuck kit, and wig are already in place, and I put on my makeup, feeling a sense of calm as I do so. I know I have to impress Clea today, after the mistake I made yesterday. I woke up feeling different, almost as if a switch had been flipped in my brain. Everything from my thoughts to my movements felt more fluid and feminine, and it was like I had finally embraced my new identity as a woman.

As I got dressed, I took extra care to make sure my makeup was perfect and my clothes were fitted just right.

When I walked into the kitchen, Clea was already there, sipping on her morning coffee. She glanced up at me and I could see a small smile on her lips.

"Good morning, Jazmine," she said, using my new name without hesitation. "You're looking beautiful as always."

I blushed at the compliment, feeling my cheeks flush with heat. It was strange how much her words affected me, but I couldn't deny that I loved being praised for my femininity.

Throughout the day, I found myself going above and beyond to embrace my new identity. I spoke in a higher-pitched voice, walked with a more exaggerated sway of my hips, and even practiced curtsying in front of the mirror.

Clea seemed pleased with my progress, but there were moments where I could tell she was still pushing me to do better. She would critique my posture, tell me to walk with more confidence, and even reprimand me for slipping into masculine habits.

At one point, I found myself struggling with a particular task and Clea snapped at me. "Jazmine, you're not trying hard enough. You need to be fully committed to this if you want to succeed."

Her words stung, and I felt myself becoming defensive. "But I am trying," I said, my voice trembling with emotion. "This is all so new to me and it's not easy."

Clea's expression softened, and she let out a sigh. "I know it's not easy, but it's necessary if you want to become Jazmine. You need to let go of Jackson and embrace your new identity fully."

Her words hung in the air, and I felt a lump form in my throat. It was true, I needed to let go of Jackson if I was going to fully become Jazmine, but it was easier said than done.

As the day went on, I continued to embrace my new identity, but there was a part of me that still felt uncertain. It was as if I was playing a role in a play and I wasn't sure if I could pull it off convincingly.

But as I went to bed that night, I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. Despite the difficulties and challenges, I was slowly becoming Jazmine, and that was something to be proud of.