Journal Entry 19

Journal Entry 19: October 27th

I woke up early today, eager to make things right with Mark. I spent hours getting ready, carefully choosing what to wear and how to style my hair. I wanted to do something special for him, to show him that I was sorry for the way I had been treating him.

I remembered how he had complimented my hair when it was down, so I spent extra time straightening it and making sure it looked perfect. And when it came to my outfit, I picked out the most flattering sundress I had, one that was just barely appropriate for school. It had a low-cut neckline that showed off my cleavage, and I knew that Mark would appreciate it.

As I got ready, I couldn't help but feel nervous and excited all at once. I wanted everything to be perfect for him, to show him that I truly cared about him and valued his opinion. I even put on a little extra makeup, just to make sure I looked my best.

When I finally arrived at school, I could feel my heart racing as I walked down the hallway towards my classroom. I was eager to see Mark's reaction to my new look, to show him that I was making an effort to be better for him.

Looking back on it now, I realize how foolish I was being. I was so caught up in trying to please him that I didn't stop to consider whether or not what I was doing was truly what he wanted. It was only only what I thought he wanted. But at the time, I couldn't help but feel like I was doing something special for him, something that would make up for my past mistakes.

And when I saw the way that Mark looked at me as I walked into the classroom, I knew that I had done the right thing. He seemed pleased with my appearance, and for a brief moment, everything felt perfect. All I could think about was how much I wanted to please him, how much I wanted to be his favorite.

I nervously asked Mark to stay after class, and he agreed with a smile. Throughout the lesson, I couldn't concentrate, thinking only of what I would say to him. When the bell finally rang and the other students had left, I took a deep breath and began to speak to him about how I felt.

I knew I had been treating him unfairly lately and wanted to make things right. I explained to him that during the test last Wednesday, I had judged him too harshly for what happened. I reflected on it some more and realized that it was really my fault so I should have overreacted as much as I did.

Mark just smiled at me and nodded, forgiving me for my actions. While I was relieved that he forgave me, I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. I had hoped for a more dramatic response from him.

I couldn't help but feel relieved at his words, but also a little disappointed. I had hoped for a more dramatic response, a more emotional connection. But instead, Mark seemed content to just let it go.

As we stood there in silence, I could feel his eyes drifting over my body, taking in every curve and contour. I blushed under his gaze, feeling both embarrassed and excited at the same time.

I felt a flush of pleasure run through me as Mark's eyes lingered on my chest, and I found myself arching my back slightly to emphasize my assets even more. I knew it was a little risky to wear something like this to school, but in that moment, it felt like a small price to pay to make Mark happy.

Eventually, I broke the silence and asked him if there was anything I could do to make it up to him.

I could feel a sense of satisfaction wash over me as Mark turned to leave. The thought of spending time with him, getting to know him better, was almost too much to handle. As I watched him go, I couldn't help but feel a sense of longing, a desire to be closer to him, to feel his touch, to know him intimately.

But before he was out of earshot, Mark turned back to me with a mischievous grin on his face. He asked me for my phone number saying that it was so we could coordinate our tutoring sessions. At first, I was hesitant. As a teacher, I'm not supposed to give out my personal phone number to students. But then I thought about Mark and how badly I wanted to please him. I didn't want to do anything to upset him or make him think that I didn't trust him.

For a moment, I hesitated, feeling the weight of responsibility pressing down on me. But then, with a sudden burst of courage, I nodded my head and recited my number to him, watching as he punched it into his phone.

After he left, I couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt creeping in. What was I doing, getting so caught up in my feelings for a student? It was completely inappropriate and unprofessional. But at the same time, I felt like I owed him something.