Hydra Bob is a shrewd negotiatior

The group made their way to the seller's house, and knocked on the door. They were shocked to see him in HYDRA gear, and prepared themselves for a fight. The seller, though, immediately dropped to his knees and began crying hysterically, confusing the heroes. "Don'tshootdon'tshootIgiveupI'lltellyouanything..."

"Bob!" Wade exclaimed, slapping the seller on the back joyfully. "Good to see you, pal! We haven't hung out since the whole volcano incident."

"Oh... hello there, Mr. Wilson," Bob said calming down somewhat upon seeing a friendly face. Well, as friendly as Deadpool ever was to him, anyway.

"I guess I should probably apologize for shoving you in to that volcano. But you gotta understand, I only did it so the natives would enjoy a fruitful harvest. And I totally forgot you're not a virgin, which is easy, because, look at you."

"You know him, Wade?" Natasha asked.

"Sure do, bestie -- Bob and I go waaaaay back, don't we?" Wade answered. "You guys don't need to worry -- Bob isn't one of those evil, murdery HYDRA douchebags. He's just a huge weenie."

"You had an informant in HYDRA?!" said an incredulous Natasha. "Why didn't you tell us? Do you realize how valuable he could've been to SHIELD???"

"Y'know, the thought never crossed my mind," Wade admitted.

"That's a shocker..." Tony sarcastically muttered.

"So, how're ya doin, Bobby? Your wife finally leave your ass?" Wade asked.

"Allison and I divorced years ago, Wade..." Bob said, sounding defeated.

"Right, right! That happened even before this whole 'all the ladies are lesbians and all the guys are disappearing' thing started."

"It happened before we even met, Wade," Bob replied.

"Well, you seem well, holed up in a shack in the middle of nowhere, desperately hiding from women, selling whatever crap you manage to get your grubby little hands on... really, it's not any different from things before reality went all lesbian porno on us."

Ant-Man spoke up. "This guy? This guy has the mind stone?!" Scott asked in disbelief.

"Oh, is that what this thing is called?" Bob asked. "I swiped it from a HYDRA lab when everything went nuts. I figured I could get a few hundred bucks for it..."

"You have no idea how powerful that thing is, do you?" Scott questioned him.

"Shhhhh... Don't tell him!" Wade said. "The last thing the world needs is Bob Dobalina, wielder of the Mind Stone... actually, It might not be that bad. He'd probably end up turning his mind into ice cream."

"Whatever. I just need cash," Bob said, not paying attention to anything the heroes were saying about the Mind Stone. "I'll let it go for... two hundred dollars. No, wait... two hundred fifty.

Tony sighed and pulled out his wallet. "Deal. Now can we please get out of here?"

"Let's go," Steve nodded. "We can figure out what to do when we get back to... wait, where's Natasha?"

While the others had been talking, Natasha had noticed activity in the distance, and felt the overwhelming compulsion to investigate. She broke away from the rest of the group, tracking the activity to a house some distance away. The house seemed to be empty -- nobody around. Then, Natasha heard women moaning, and the sound came from the bedroom. Her cunt was immediately soaked, and throbbing. She needed to be touched by another woman, and she needed it now. She sped to the source of the moans and opened the door, greeted by a group of gorgeous -- and familiar -- women.

"We've been looking for you, Natasha Romanov..."