You wake up.

Your eyes crack open to see a scratched ceiling and flying dust particles illuminated by the sunlight streaming in.

“Fucking dream…” you murmur angrily. You thought that particular one had stopped bothering you a month ago, but here you were, being blown by your dead girlfriend who then turned into… her.

You shift your legs and feel something weird. With a frown, you lift your waistband to reveal the inside of your underwear wet with semen. Great.

You sigh, stand and begin changing. Nutting all over yourself wouldn’t be an issue normally, but these days you didn’t exactly have the time to stop and rub one out. And even when you did, being covered in caveman and sabretooth blood wasn’t the greatest mood setter.

You follow the usual routine; change, replace your bandages and inspect your weapons. You’ve gotten good; the whole thing takes you less than half an hour before you’re outside and back on the road.

You pass the remains of the sabretooth tiger in the street, which has been picked clean. The skin, meat and organs have all been stripped away, the last bits being nipped at by baby pterodactyls that cry at you when you get too close.

There was nothing of use left, not even the teeth. Shame. A sabretooth fang usually went for a fair amount with the right people - worth a couple of cans of soup, anyway.

With a sigh, you heft your rifle in your arms and continue walking, leaving the young dinosaurs to their scraps.