Mama

It is a hot Friday afternoon, the first Friday I’d had off since I got my job at the cafe, and I am on the stone deck behind the house setting out napkins and cutlery and whatnot. Evelyn and Kitty were out shopping for some steaks and a nice bottle of wine for our barbecue. Alan was still at work but due home within the hour. I hoped the girls would get home first to avoid the awkwardness of having to fill time with the prickly big man. I still couldn’t quite believe this was even happening.

For the very first time the whole household was coming together for a shared meal. The out of left field idea was the brainchild of Kitty, and it took Evelyn and I quite off guard when Alan not only agreed to it but went so far as to say he was looking forward to it. I knew then that he and Kitty had something up their sleeves and I think I knew what it was. When I was coming home from work the other night I had heard the deep rumble of the Thunderbird’s big V-8 coming from the garage. They’d finally got it running. When I asked Kit about it later she was evasive, saying there was still more work to be done, but I could tell that she was playing coy. I suspected the car had been restored and that tonight after the meal she’d be taking the four of us out for an its inaugural ride. She might not have ‘bought’ it but she’d paid in time and work, and I could tell she was proud of what she’d done with it. This really meant a lot to her, she talked about Gramps’ old vehicle constantly and how awesome it was, so I was not surprised that she wanted to make an event out of this moment. I was so happy for her.

Looking over the spacious back yard, taking in the greens of the grass, shrubs and trees and blues of the pool and clear bright sky above. I take in a deep breath and smell the clean air. I take in soft sounds of a very light breeze through the boughs of the trees at the back of the yard. I feel that old gratefulness come over me yet again. With Evelyn’s help I’d gotten my sister off of the dark path that she’d been on and started a better life for us both. That meant more to me than I could ever express or repay. After a life of poverty, my blessings were now flowing over.

I look around me at the table and chairs and the big gleaming natural gas barbecue closer to the house. And I smile. In my mind’s eye I could already see Alan standing over the grill, apron on and his impeccably spotless tools at the ready as the big juicy steaks sizzled. I could see Kitty somewhere nearby, nattering on and purposely annoying him as he clenches his jaw, saying nothing but the lively glimmer in his eyes giving away that he actually didn’t mind her so much. I could see Mommy, coming back and forth between the table and the back door to bring out salads, drinks, desserts and heaven knows what else. She would make sure everybody was happy and well fed. And I could see myself bouncing around between them, helping where I could and trying to stay out of the way where I couldn’t. For a moment…for one beautiful moment…I imagine us all as a real family.

I let out a melancholic sigh and shake my head. If only. I would savor this meal and this time together. With Evelyn and I so close this would surely be the last time we had to enjoy such peace.

As I set out the plates I hear the faint sound of a car door closing. Somebody was home. A moment later I hear another and let out a little sigh of relief as it was probably Evelyn and my sister. A few minutes pass and I am surprised not to see them come out the back door to check on things and say hello. I was just about to check on them when I hear a voice, one that did not belong here, come from the corner of the building.

“Here he is.”

I spin around in a panic to see the face of my and Kitty’s former pimp. “Diane!?”

“Hey kid.” Lamar says stepping out to stand behind her. Looking around he smiles and nods approvingly. “Looks like you’re doin okay for yourself.”

“More than okay. Lap of luxury I’d say.” Laughs Diane. “Lucky boy.”

“Wh-wh-what are you doing here!?” I stammer. “You can’t be here!”

“I can’t visit an old friend?” Diane smiles.

“You’re not my friend. We’re not friends.”

“No, we’re not. Are we.” Her smile disappears. “I told you this wasn’t going to end nicely Donny.”

“G-go away. She paid you already. You said we were square. Leave us alone!”

“She paid for your skinny ass. I didn’t realize Kiki was part of the deal.” Diane says. “Kiki’s gonna cost extra.” Her eyes scan left and right to take in the house and yard. “A lot extra.”

“You fired her! She was free!”

She ignores my protest and looks to the house. “Is Evelyn home? Or…perhaps her loving husband?”

“NO! They’re not home!” I didn’t know what to do. With Lamar at her back I hadn’t a prayer of forcing Diane away by myself. I could try to make a big scene but there was a good chance there was nobody within earshot to hear it, plus it would mean Diane’s connection to Evelyn would be revealed. I didn’t know what to do! “Nobody’s home but me.”

She looks over the table and settings. “It appears like they won’t be too long. We’ve got some time to wait.” She strolls forward confidently, making for the nearest chair.

“Diane…please, go away.” I plead as I step forward to block her path. “W-we can talk later. Please! We can arrange something, just not today.”

And then…there is another voice. A voice from my past, a voice from my deepest nightmares. My heart freezes in my chest and my hands go cold.

“What’s taking so long?” Comes a croaking woman’s voice approaching from around the corner. “Did you find them?”

“No!” I gasp.

Diane’s cruel smile returns as she sees my reaction. Calling back over her shoulder she replies. “Found of one of them Lexie.”

Tears well, my body trembles, my breath becomes rapid and shallow, and my heart goes from still to hammering like a drum. The instinct of fight or flight seizes me…but I could do neither. I was helpless! Shaking my head I take a backward step and whisper. “No. Noooo!”

“Come say hello to your long lost son.”

My mind was still reeling and doing everything it could to reject what was happening. It was only when she steps out from around the corner does the reality truly hit me. I see hard, squinting eyes the exact shade of brown as my own and bouncy curly hair just the same as my sister’s, though now with much more gray. I see…her.

And I am six years old again. “Mama?”