Diary entry.

Dear Diary,

Another week is done, and I can't believe how fast time is flying. Henry had me sit in on a meeting and take notes for the first time. I still feel like he's testing me, but seeing him talk to the client was interesting. He is a smooth talker, a man with a silver tongue, that's for sure. Right after, he gave me a bunch of work again, and he didn't care. I guess that's how he is, and I'll keep doing what I'm doing.

I tried to talk to Tom again this week, and things did not go well would be an understatement. I tried to ask him why he was avoiding me, and he blew up on me. Yes, the Tom we love lost it, and I have never seen him like that. It scared me, but I couldn't help worrying about him. I just hope he knows I am there for him, whatever he is going through. I wish he would talk just to me about it. But I think I should give him space and pray that one day he can open up.

V texted me. I was so excited after what we did last weekend, and I was hoping she wanted to hang out again. I wanted to see if it would lead to something, but she just wanted to know if I wanted to become an OnlySnaps model. And I did the research, and you could make so much money that it would be stupid of me to say no. It's just posting some nudes, and it's safe.

I did my first OnlySnaps shoot with V, which was a fun experience. I posed as a slutty cleaner; she was artistic about it, putting me in front of a mirror. I actually felt good in front of the camera. I felt nervous initially, but with V guiding me, I felt so confident, and it felt natural at the end. I hope people will like the pictures. V wanted to take things further, but I couldn't do it. I have feelings for her, but we are working together now, which would be a bad idea. Maybe one day down the road, things will be different, but I need to keep things professional for now. I really hope I didn't hurt her feelings.

I had lunch with Tom and Evelyn on Sunday. Evelyn was a little weird, and it felt like she was flirting with me. It's kind of crazy to think about Tom's mom and me together, but I can't help but wonder what it would be like; she is good-looking. Maybe I'm just a pervert. Tom ignored me the whole time we were there, I wasn't surprised, but I did want to talk to him. I hope he opens up to me soon.

We're not lost. We're just headed somewhere different. (Emily X.R. Pan)

~K

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