Dating Apps

I send Jax a quick message telling him how he’ll have to wait until I’m at least out of class. I come off from the chat and open my hookup app. Once a barren wasteland of non-existent messages and people never responding to me, I have ten messages on this and the other five are matches from the dating app. Today must be my lucky day. Or maybe I’m still dreaming. For now, I’ll just indulge in what’s happening for as long as it last. Unfortunately, most of the messages I have can be ignored. Creepy seventy-year-old men aren’t really my thing. However, two of the guys interest me. One is less than 15m away from me so that would mean he’s in this room, his profile is called High&Horny. Not the most imaginative but his pictures intrigue me, nonetheless. I don’t recognise him, even if he is in this room with me and has been for the past year. He has long brown hair that comes down to his shoulders, a goofy looking smile, and bright blue eyes. The rest of his pictures show of taut body, with a small happy trail on his pink skin leading down to a crotch that I cannot see. The more I look at him the more I feel like I do know him, there’s something familiar about him. I opened his messages,

Getting called out by Mr H can’t have been fun

Although something tells me you didn’t mind too much.

I don’t think I would have minded if you had been sitting next to me, normally 15m isn’t too bad but today it feels too far. I reply

I swipe off his profile whilst I wait for his response. The second profile that caught my attention was a little further away. It said thirty metres which means he probably isn’t in this classroom with me. Again he has a face picture, which shows the sun glistening off the water droplets on his dark black skin as he floats in the water. His eyes are covered by sun glasses, he has a buzz cut (or at least did when this picture was taken), the rest of the pictures are of his well sculpted body, his chiselled abs, defined pecs and thighs that remind me of tree trucks. His profile name is simply U want? I open his message:

I’ve seen you around campus, never really thought about messaging you. Today’s your lucky day. Although the message is actually more of an insult, I don’t think I mind, the good thing is he’s messaged me today. It means he’s interested now.

It’s a good thing you did message me, otherwise I’d definitely be missing out wouldn’t I?

Unfortunately, both him and High&Horny have gone offline, which means we’re unlikely to be meeting up any time soon. Pushing the negative feelings that I could attach with that away I instead open the dating app. Luckily with this one I have half the control, no seventy-year-old men here, just a couple of guys I was interested in and must have swiped on the last time I used it. Again, there’s no harm in checking them all out is there. Lets check out Will first.

Will is everything you expect from someone who’s profile say’s that he studies law. Every picture is of him in a perfectly tailored outfit, with his hair neatly styled and a pair of oval rimmed glasses delicately placed on the bridge of nose. His white skin is probably well taken care of, smooth and unblemished. He’s the type of person who never got acne as a kid, and it shows. His profile says he wants someone who knows what they want, doesn’t mess around and is okay with him being the breadwinner. I think I can tick all those boxes for him.

Titus has a very different profile, his pictures are all of him shirtless, posing and putting his warm beige skin on display. There is no picture of him wearing anything more than just his underwear. His black hair is gelled, so it stands straight up, he smiles in none of his pictures, his face set in stone with a severe stare. Yet it all just works for him. It could come off as intimidating or cocky, but it just makes him that much more appealing. According to his profile he’s recently moved here from central London and is looking for someone to show him around.

Jamie doesn’t have many pictures, theres only two one of him staring straight down at the camera putting his big brown doe eyes on display, as if they were just resting gently upon his porcelain skin, the other is him dressed up in a suit at what I suppose is a wedding. It’s cropped so that it’s only him in the picture, he looks good though even if it doesn’t reveal much about him. All his profile says is ask and find out.

Next is Teagan who has one picture of himself, from far away, from what I can tell which isn’t much. He’s a man, and he’s alive, so that’s a plus. His profile explains that his family moved him from Australia when he was three and he hasn’t quite come out yet. He’ll be happy to share pictures when he feels comfortable. I can’t suppose he gets many matches with this profile, but I swiped on him for some reason.

Lastly there’s Fletcher, who has filled his profile with photos of him with his family. It’s hard to figure out the one he is at first, but I soon work it out. He’s blond, looks athletic, definitely cares about his family and is better than any seventy-year-old man could ever be, so I’m not mad. His profile doesn’t say much except that he plays in a band and is hoping for a connection.

I’m about to figure out who to message first when Mr H announces that class is over. Shocking me enough to snap me out of my phone obsessed stupor. I pick up my stuff and leave the classroom. I can message them back later, I have plans right now.