Tabby's Despair

She wished it had never happened. The sexual frenzy had Tabby experienced in the living room the week before, all focussed on her brother Tim, had completely thrown her off her game. Schoolwork suffered, her streaming project with her dad took a backseat. It wasn't as if there were someone she could talk to about her feelings, about her experience. People would think that she was either a lunatic or a pervert!

The day after it happened Tabby had screwed up the courage to approach him, to speak to him, to tell her how she felt. But then he had vanished on his little trip. Tim had been cagey about the trip since he got back, choosing not to share details, instead opting to focus on his studies, catch up with a friend, and spend a little time with his girlfriends. Each time she saw him leave the house with one of the women (they had to pick him up, Tabby having as yet failed at making enough money to get his insurance deductible paid for), a part of her was jealous. There was no use denying it. Tabby's brother Tim had plenty of love to go around. Why couldn't he spare some for her?

The answer was obvious, of course. Brothers and sisters don't become lovers. It was wrong. Illegal, even! The last thing she wanted to was to end her brother, the most respectable man she had ever met, in trouble with the law.

"Have you tried Tinder?" Tabby's best friend Sheila asked her mid-week. That was Sheila's style. She knew that Tabby had boy-troubles, even if she didn't know details. And so, in true Sheila form, she suggested to find a different boy and forget the one who had caused the heartache.

And she tried. Faithfully, every evening, Tabby would swipe away candidates. Good looking candidates. Candidates with bright futures, big bank accounts, strong jawlines, big muscles...

Useless, pathetic men who held not one smidge of Tabby's interest. It was as if she had stared at the sun too long, and the image had been burned into her retinas. How could she consider the shadows of masculinity when the true specimen of manhood lived in her very home? At night she closed her eyes and imagined running her tongue up his smooth legs, head under his skirt, and kissing his beautiful penis through his panties. She wanted him. She wanted to be his. She wanted.

For the first time, her lust and desire for Tim had been loosed, something she had suspected had been buried for years, and there was no way to supress it now that she was aware. All week her longing grew, dwarfed only by her despair. There was no hope, no future for the two of them. What lived in her fantasies could only exist there, no matter how hard she wished for it to become a reality.

Tabby flopped onto her bed, almost ready for a night of sleep. She could hear Tim downstairs speaking with their mother. Soon he would retire with her, a night of lovemaking that Tabby would be denied. Slipping her hand into her panties, she closed her eyes and pictured her brother. Tears began to flow down her face as she got herself off for not the first time that day. He was so close, but he might as well be on another planet. It was her lot in life, her destiny, to be alone.