Doing what an interdimensional cosmic trickster suggests is a bad idea. You just go retrieve Snowflake and proceed as you'd planned.

You pretend to be considering for a minute, then reach forward and throw a kick into the little floating fucker, pinning him to the wall and halfway flattening him as if he's a rubber squeaky toy - which approximates the sound he makes pretty well, too.

"You weren't kidding about having a low opinion of us mortals' intelligence. I don't know if it was reverse psychology or whatever, but I've read and watched the stories of plenty of the heroes who came before me. This whole 'do such and so and it will lead you to the truth, but don't ask me how' schtick is always a set up. If it isn't a short con, it's a long con. Go and tell Red Balloon and whoever else is putting you up to these games that I won't stop until they're beaten and exposed. And you? I'd just love to take out some frustrations on something I'm actually allowed to kill, since you volunteered the fact that you're not alive in a biological sense, that makes you free game. The moment I get some of this other sleaze off my plate-"

"sh... shouldn't it be, out of your bird-feeder...?" Mr. Magopolis's voice is raspy and choked under the pressure of your heel, but remains just as smug and insolent.

"-I am going straight to Petite Mort and telling her to put resuming production of her handy spermicidal micro-drones on the back burner, because finding a way to send you back where you came from in as many separate molecules, or tachyons or... superstrings or whatever the fuck you're made of, as possible, is going to be my new top priority."

"Gah... ha ha haaaah..." the tiny floating man gives a strangled chuckle. "Suit yourself. I'll send some flowers to your retirement-in-disgrace-party, or maybe your funeral wake... sometime around next week. Hope you enjoy your last night on the town for a good long while!" he squawks in his nasal voice before disappearing into a puff of confetti streamers with a loud pop.

You sigh. "Alright. I know when I need backup. Sorry, Jules, your vacation's over." You punch some buttons on the keypad attached to your power-glove. "Long distance call to Europe..."

...

With a crack of your knuckles, you stride authoritatively back down the hallway where Snowflake has finally lost the upper hand in her confrontation. She has her arms pinned behind her by Neon Knight in his armored suit, and the remains of a small destroyed "snow-person" litter the floor, quickly melting. She looks hopefully at you as you approach, and tenses as if she's about to try and break free.

But instead, you glare right at her through your yellow-tinted visor. "Snowflake! What the hell are you doing, attacking other heroes like this? I may not be able to boot you off the team yet, but I can damn sure bench your ass! Don't think I won't. If you're this reckless, you're more likely to get Doc killed than provide any help."

"But...! No, Thunderbird," she says in a plaintive, almost whiny voice that is a far cry from the confrontational contralto tone she usually speaks in. "these guys are absolute scum! I don't just mean problematic, I mean outright criminal by anyone's standards!"

You fold your arms over your large breasts confrontationally. "What, you mean the red-haired girl with the stupid whip-weapon who Mr. Incognito back there," you point past the costumed heroes at the sole un-costumed member of their group, who is obviously 'Bulletman' from the sex-tape with Justits Vippe, "made into a mother?"

Said bald guy, who had been staying out of the fight - either because he's a coward or because the League would bust him hard for using his powers without being registered - raises his hand and looks like he's about to protest, and looks surprised by what you say when you continue: "I don't see how he did anything wrong, aside from thinking that bullets were a good superhero theme or that the League would be ok with a hero throwing them at people. That... Russian, or whatever she was, heroine totally came on to him, she seemed pretty into it. C'mon, Snowflake - I saw you jumping on that 'Eagle' guy's dick two days ago, in the middle of an all-out attack on the HQ! You don't have the right to judge anyone else for being a sex pest."

"Wait a damn second!" Ice Dream Man, who had been throwing some kind of little frozen dots onto the ground to freeze Snowflake's feet to the floor (with zero success) narrows his eyes at you. "You were spying on that? We told you you weren't invited!"

"That isn't it!" Snowflake protests. "I mean, he was clearly being coercive to Vippe in that video, but that's not it. This scumbag bragged that he was going to help fund relocating his family to that country by making copies of that video and SELLING them! That's, like, **** porn! Or something!"

"No!" Bulletman sweeps off his ball cap just so he can slap his forehead dramatically. "That is, yes, but! I was trying to tell you, when I said 'we' were selling it, I don't mean me and these guys," he indicates the other male heroes, "I meant me and my fiancee! She's the one who suggested it!"

Snowflake scoffs. "You expect Thunderbird and I to believe that?"

"Why not?" Bulletman says defensively. "It'll be a way to put the rumors about whose baby it is to rest without her having to make some kind of awkward public statement, and she has a lot less generous funding than the League itself. Did you know that her home country was the first in the world to legalize the sale of hard-core pornography? It isn't that big of a deal. If you'd just calmed down for five minutes, I could have given her a call to confirm it!"

"So," Snowflake says, "You just left your 8-months-pregnant birthing partner alone while you ran off here, for this... misogynistic cash-grab scheme of yours?"

You cut in with an acerbic tone: "Why not? What are you saying, Snowflake, that just because Whats-her-tits is pregnant, she's suddenly helpless and needs a big strong man around to protect her?"

Looking mortified, Snowflake puts both hands in her short-cropped white hair and groans in frustration. "Not... no, I wouldn't... Never mind that! That isn't even the REALLY bad part! Look! Just fucking look!" she points to the viewing room where the door has been left hanging open.

...

Peeking past it, you can see that a different video is playing. It's markedly different from the other one, clearly on a much lower quality of recording device, with a grainy, shaky picture. It shows Depth Charge, the goofy guy in the diving suit, with his suit tugged down just enough to expose his turgid cock and his balls, finishing giving a spanking to a tied up young woman with black hair, a simple green leotard, and a domino mask. "Alright, Acropolis," Depth Charge from the video says. "This is the naughty little girl who's been making all of these terroristic threats and, uh, demanding we bring out the hero she has a grudge against. So, to encourage her to find a new hobby, I'm going to take it on myself to give her a little spelling lesson." He squirts a tiny tube of gel on the end of his member.

In the video, the diving-suited hero approaches with his cock in his hand and tugs the handcuffed girl's bottoms aside, while she huffs in annoyance. "Get on with it already..." the girl in the leotard says.

"Namely," the recording of Depth Charge continues, "that you can't spell 'Miss Appalling' without two 'A's, an 'N', and an 'L'."

The girl yelps in surprise as he suddenly leans forward and crams the head of his cock into her. Although her pussy is exposed, it seems this particular 'deep sea diver' has more of an interest in brown starfish than pink oysters.

Huh. As a heroine, you've had more than a few bad guys get their hands on you aggressively, but you can't say you're too surprised to see that villainesses have the same problem when a hero defeats them.

"That is ****! He's a ****!" Snowflake asserts with a snarl. "And also, more **** porn!" You're pretty sure that Snowflake is mangling the definition of that but you aren't an expert on the terminology of sexual humiliation, unfortunately being closer to expert status regarding the receiving end.

Depth Charge (the face-to-face version) speaks in a plaintive voice that is much at odds with the sloppy expulsions of air and rhythmic slapping coming from the film as he stretches out the villainess's asshole again and again: "Hey now, that's not true. I was just trying to protect my good friend Bulletman here from a spiteful criminal coming after him in his civilian life, especially now that we know he's going to have a family to worry about. Anyway, it was Miss Appalling's choice, if you didn't hear. I told her I could take her to jail, or make a little video pro-bono."

"Heh heh..." Neon Knight chuckles. "Phrasing, DC."

Depth Charge continues speaking, even as, in the video, he picks the girl's hips up in his hands, lifting her feet off the ground so he can pull her shapely butt backwards onto his manhood, making her yowl in a way that you can't tell if it's pain, pleasure or both. "This is a routine thing... for ones who just do property crimes and mischief, it can be better than taking them to a jail where they'll just be exposed to worse villains and come out hardened, if they don't bust out first. This way we can threaten to release the show if they start threatening to commit crimes that are too... uh... appalling."

Neon Knight speaks again with a dry humor in his voice: "Yeah, actually, I think a certain heroine called 'Nightingale' managed to chase a very scary evil musician out of the city for good with that method, earlier this year."

Snowflake screws up her face again and gives you a withering glance. "Well, this 'Nightingale' has some really questionable fucking ethics!"

You frown. Okay, maybe she's got you there, but! There's corruption large and small in the League... and right now you can't afford to worry about the small. Even if it means torching the very small amount of rapport you have with Snowflake, Neon Knight at least is a pretty important and well-regarded hero. Your lips move imperceptibly as you have a conversation that none of the others can hear.

"I think I've seen enough." you say authoritatively. "This is a pretty clear example of what I'd call 'toxic masculinity'."

Immediately, Snowflake looks vindicated. Without waiting, she twists her way out of Neon Knight's grip and backs away, turning to stand shoulder to shoulder with you. "Damn right it is!" she says, her voice nearly a shout. "Now, we need to take this disgusting **** porn, and report these guys to-"

She's interrupted when you shove her away from you, knocking her into the wall. "No! I'm not talking about THEM, I'm talking about YOU, Snowflake! You're..." you pause for a second and wait, listening to something that only you can hear from your headset, "'reproducing systems of oppression'. I mean, is your title Snowflake, or 'white knight'? You're assuming the victimhood of these women that you've never met just so that you can feed your own hyper-masculine ego."

Looking completely taken aback, Snowflake's mouth drops open. "What the fuck? That's ridiculous! I'm...!"

"You're what?" You ask, rubbing it in as Snowflake catches herself before saying what she was clearly thinking.

And so it goes on like that for a few more minutes. The male heroes reactions go from bewilderment to amusement as you rhetorically get Snowflake on the ropes. The fact that you are shamelessly using your ultra-sonic sound ability to manipulate her emotions (that power is weak as far as 'mind control' goes, but it's especially effective against someone who doesn't know you can do it to them) doesn't hurt.

"...Alright. I realize that I may have been thoughtlessly reproducing outdated and patronizing concepts of heroism." Snowflake says, looking down at her feet. "I... still think the whole thing is very problematic even if Vippe is on board with selling that stuff or that villainess was getting something out of it... but I responded the wrong way. I apologize."

Ice Dream Man, Depth Charge, and Neon Knight (and ESPECIALLY the now-civilian-former-hero Bulletman) look relieved that she isn't about to start berserking on them again and breathe a collective sigh of relief.

"I'll take it." Depth Charge says. "We'll call it a little off-the-records sparring session. Nice moves, by the way, mis- uh, I mean, friend. I'll tell you what, Snowflake - next time, YOU pick what kind of 'content' it's going to be."

"Yeah," the dark-skinned ice-cream-themed science hero next to him says. "I think we got off on the wrong foot, so-"

"Okay, enough of that simpering crap, guys." Neon Knight says in a sardonic voice of his own. "You don't apologize to bullies, that's how you make things worse. Snowflake, nothing personal, we all have our pet causes, but I'm going to have to take this to our acting leader and get some kind of a formal reprimand here. They," he turns towards you and points at Snowflake, "were attacking us full-****. That damn icicle maneuver of theirs could've put someone's eye out. Maybe a few weeks on the police liasion squad would be fitting..."

Your fists clench. That would be Beast Beauty's little pet unit (no pun intended). Analogies involving volatile, explosive chemicals being mixed together leap to your mind as you think of Snowflake being made to spend more time around Beast Beauty. Since the latter absolutely loves to get a reaction out of people with her outrageous views, and the former loves to, well, react.

Silently, you mouth more words. That goes on for about half a minute, getting you some confused looks.

"I don't think you really want to do that, Knight." you say. "I'm taking Snowflake on an important mission now and I can't afford for them to be distracted. Surely you of all people can understand the need to bend the rules a little? Your armor may be made of metal but metal is worthless if it isn't at least a little flexible, right?"

"Excuse me?" Knight says, taking a mildly threatening step closer to you.

"I'm just saying, now that I and Snowflake know about this perverse video archive of a certain kind of incident..." you look back over at the window-booth behind which Smut King lurks. "They might bring up some embarrassing things that you wouldn't want anyone entitled to check out these videos to look into. You and your wife recently became parents just like Bulletman over there and his fiancee, right?"

"Yes?" Neon Knight says impatiently. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm just saying," your voice grows a little harsher, "with an archive like this around... people might get curious about the fact that you and your wife are both white, but your kid is clearly mixed-race."

Neon Knight scoffs, though he is clearly a little uncomfortable now. "That's common knowledge... my wife is infertile as a side effect of the serum that gave her her abilities, so we adopted a daughter. Isn't that the humane thing to do?"

"Sure," you say, starting to feel a little smug yourself, "but there's also the fact that your spunky teenage sidekick 'Noble-Heart' took an extended leave of absence, oh, about, 7 or 8 months before you and your lovely wife 'adopted'?"

The glowing power-armored man in front of you stands silently, then casually puts his hands behind his back. "Noble-Heart is like a daughter to me. To suggest something like that..." his voice is calm but betrays a deep sense of insult, "I can see why Snowflake was put on your team. I guess the League wanted to gather as many malignant, toxic piece-of-crap heroines in one place as possible so they could keep an eye on them, huh? I always thought that Dr. Rainbow seemed like a nice girl, too. What, does she have a side hustle as a **** dealer or something, to deserve getting lumped in with the likes of you two?"

Ouch. For someone who seems so affable on the surface, this Neon Knight guy has quite a temper. And since your powers make you something of a living lie detector, you're pretty sure he's telling the truth. But... you can hear a heart beat and breathing even through all that tin wrapping if you focus. His heartbeat and breathing quickened a lot when you made that implication.

"Oh, c'mon - that's not what I meant." you say with a smirk. "I figure it was some criminal or henchman, or a low-ranking hero with the same hump-and-dump mentality as my toxically masculine colleague Snowflake, here." You enjoy hearing the latter gritting her teeth helplessly. "But regardless of who got your sidekick pregnant, I'm perfectly within my rights to see it. Even if I just want to get myself off or have a little 'girls night out' with my team." you glance at Ice Dream Man and and Depth Charge who both avoid your gaze, the former smirking awkwardly. "And if I should happen to... forget the content, don't you think other B+ rank heroes might be curious to see for themselves? You were awfully quick to assume I was leaping to a bad conclusion. Don't you figure others might? After all, there's technically no rule about sleeping with your sidekick or protege or whatever as long as they're legal. Even if I accidentally implied something -"

"Alright, alright, I get it." Neon Knight says with a groan of frustration. "Christ, I swear the quality of heroes has gone down the drain lately. I sometimes wonder if Maiden America doesn't zip off to her space-fortress so often these days because she's embarrassed by what her League is turning into." he waves a gloved hand at you. "Go on, get out of here."

"Hey now," you say, smirking obnoxiously, "it's still my team's fault that you guys' circle-jerk session got interrupted. You sure the two of us can't offer an apology blowjob to help smooth things over?"

The ice-cream themed chemist next to him is unable to avoid smiling. "Well, that might-"

"We'll pass. And we won't say anything to anyone." Neon Knight says sternly. "Thanks for fucking up our one chance at a reunion with one of our buddies before he leaves the country, girls." he gestures at the others. "C'mon, you guys. Let's get Bullet back to the airport before that Appalling brat decides she cares more about **** than the public getting to see a close-up recording of her butt getting reamed out."

You shrug. Even though you pissed off both Snowflake and Knight, the important thing is that your mission and status are secure. You cannot afford anyone else sniping at you in the bureaucracy until you take Elliot down.

And as for the mysterious method that Raven Woman used to stonewall the unknown heroine that Goldie Glider snitched on you to, you'll just have to give up worrying about it for now. You have a magical doctor to save from a circus of sadistic, perverted psychopaths.

When Snowflake walks down the hall ahead of you, you thumb the button on your radio again:

"Thanks for interrupting your vacation to help me like that, Julia. I honestly didn't think you would be able to pull up a scandal on a well-respected hero like Neon Knight in such short order, let alone know exactly what to say to make Snowflake back down."

"Are you kidding?" The young woman on the opposite end of a cell phone, an ocean away in her European homeland, says. "I started doing research the moment I got word about your new team. I knew there was going to be trouble like this. Trouble tends to follow you almost as much as Rainbow. Are you feeling dumb for insisting that I take a vacation at a time like this, yet?"

"Very." you reply curtly.

"Ready for me to wrap things up early with my family visit and get on the next flight back to Acropolis City? With a good wi-fi connection, in case I need to pull your tailfeathers out of the fire long-distance again?" Julia asks with smug glee.

"God, yes." you say, breaking into a smile.

...

An hour later, after double checking your gear and a little threat analysis, you, Snowflake, and Red Balloon are standing in the HQ's garage (one of the few places left undamaged by Photobomber and the Wonderland Warriors' attack, fortunately).

In the driver's seat of the limo in front of you is a rather hesitant-looking Green Streak, the super-speedy hero in a tight green bottomless-jumpsuit and speedo, looking a bit like a buff male version of your original Nightingale costume (which makes sense, since he is the one who made it). "Alright. For the record I still think you three girls should be leaving a mission like this to someone more capable. No pun or irony intended but you are way too green for this."

Before the last incident that probably would've earned a lecture from Snowflake about patronizing her. Instead, she expresses herself silently and simply with a raised middle finger.

"We'll manage, Streak." you say simply. "Let's stop wasting time. Take us to this guy you say can get us into the Wonderland Warriors' lair. This is strictly a rescue mission." That's not quite true, but you're the one with a superpower that lets you detect lies, not him.

Red Balloon and Snowflake are both gratifyingly silent for once as the three of you pile into the spacious rear of the limousine. But before you can close the door and get rolling, a chalky, albino woman's hand with black-painted fingernails catches the door.

None other than Raven Woman, the tall, voluptuous veteran heroine and de-facto 2nd-in-command of the League looms into the limo cab, wearing her beaked half-helmet once again, though her favorite oversized weapon is nowhere to be seen. "Green Streak may be a loser, but even losers can be right." she says in her usual flat tone. "You need help for this one."