The Taste of Victory

Victory was close. It taunted me, driving me to push myself to seize it. Never before had I been in this position, this tantalizingly close to claiming my rightly fought after victory. The others weren’t even close. Ryan was behind me by almost a dozen points. The others? Even farther. They might have me beat on more physical things, but academic? This was my domain.

Victory was mine. Mine.

So why was I in second place?

I’d played myself in the dumbest possible way, creating the instrument of my own demise and letting it loose to defeat me. Mike. My longstanding academic rival. I still edged out on him in school, but trivia? He had the sort of mind that relished useless information. Top-grossing movie of all time? Mike knew that. Of course he did. I was a consumer of pop culture. Mike lived for the stuff.

I was only a few points behind, but the path to victory was growing slimmer each question. The pile of questions had dwindled to practically nothing. If I didn’t start shutting Mike out…

Wiping a few beads of sweat from my forehead, I glanced over to Emma. She was chatting with Sarah with a smile on her face. She was clearly enjoying the conversation, though I had no idea what it was about. Catching me staring at her, she gave me an encouraging smile before giving me a thumbs up.

Callie readied another question.

Geometric shape used for common stop signs?

I had my hand up before she even read off the first of the options, beating Mike by a hair. Octagon. Easy.

The gap between us narrowed and he gave me a dirty look. A fire had been lit underneath him since the beginning. This was a battle between him and me and neither one of us was going down easy.

First interracial kiss shown on TV?

Star Trek. I knew that, but Mike beat me to the punch.

How many teeth an adult human has?

Thirty-two. Thank you, Mrs. Scherner’s anatomy class.

What grain is used to make Japanese Sake?

Rice. Boo-yah! In your face, Mike.

Elements on the periodic table?

Yes, please. Rage all you want, Mike. Victory will be mine tonight. No way in hell was I letting Mike win his first fucking time playing. Not when I haven’t even been close—

Planet with the most moons?

Saturn. Come on, Callie. Keep them coming, please.

Who discovered penicillin?

That one gave me pause. Callie gave the options and I had my hand up. Alexander Fleming. I was within striking distance. One or two more and I’d be ahead of Mike and—

“Well, that was the last one. Looks like we have our winner.”

“Congrats, Mike! Winning your first time?” Ryan said with a laugh. “I don’t think that has ever happened before.”

“Jesus, dude. How the hell do you two know all that shit,” Grant said, rubbing the top of his head. He shook his head. “You two were answering before she even finished the damn question!”

“So unfair,” Colin pouted, crossing his arms. “This game was crap!”

“I…know some things,” Mike said, looking embarrassed. He was happy though. Even if everyone was paying attention, he was basking in the glow of victory.

I wanted to congratulate him. To feel good about my friend accomplishments and feel joy at seeing him grow and be accepted. The bitterness was hard to swallow. That should have been my victory. If Mike hadn’t come… If I had won…

Leaving the room, I found myself in the kitchen. In the solitude, I wrestled with the gut-wrenching feeling inside me on par with anything Emma could do. This was self-inflicted pain. I had bought the hope that I could win. I didn’t just buy it, I went all-in. This had been my chance. Finally. My chance. A chance that felt like it would never come again.

And I fucking blew it.

I hated how I felt. How I felt toward Mike. He hadn’t done anything wrong, yet…

A gentle hand ran over my back. So far deep into the void in my gut, I didn’t even flinch at the unexpected touch.

“So close.” Normally, I would welcome her presence. Now? I only wanted to be alone to wrestle with the feral disappointment inside me.

“Not in the mood, Emma.”

She didn’t leave, instead wrapping her arms around me and pulling herself close. I could feel the heat of her on my back as her head rested there. I didn’t say anything right away. The negative emotions seemed to drain away as I concentrated on the feelings her touch elicited. After a good couple minutes, I patted her hands.

“I’m fine.”

She loosened her grip enough for me to turn and face her. A small smile awaited, big beautiful eyes staring up at me. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her. There was still a distance, but holding each other like this made it seem so small.

The smile faded. “You know that you don’t have to do this. If it is ever too much, just tell me and—”

“It’s fine.”

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Is it?” I opened my mouth but she pressed on. “Is it really?” Closing my mouth, I nodded. “If that was the case, why are you out here, alone? You know this is a big moment for Mike. You of all people should be there celebrating with him.”

“I know. I know. I just… I needed a moment,” I mumbled, not meeting her gaze.

She didn’t say anything for a long moment. “Maybe we should just get it out of the way.” I gave her a surprised look. “It’s just sex, Isaac. I don’t want this whole thing to fall apart because of something stupid like that.”

Stupid? How could she say that? “I want our first time to be special.”

“It will,” she said with a firm look. “It will be our first time. Together.”

“That’s not what I mean. You were right. I want to compete. Want to win. Claim you so that—”

“Stop.” I blinked, stunned by the firmness in her voice. “That is a game, Isaac. All this? It’s for fun. Entertainment. It does not determine our relationship.”

“But you said—”

“I was wrong.” Her hand pressed against my chest, eyes never leaving mine. “You have nothing to prove to me and you certainly don’t have to ‘claim’ me. I’m already yours, remember? I’m always going to be yours.” She took a deep breath and I saw some of the emotion leak from her expression as she calmed. Her voice was soft. “Maybe it won’t be the same for me as it is you, but I can see how important this is to you. If it is important to you, it is important to me.” Her hands found mine as she smiled. She looked so happy. Excited. “What do you say? How about we…?” Her fingers slowly walked up my chest.

My brain broke as I stood there like an idiot. Took a moment to reboot.

“No.” Her reaction was like watching the sun slide behind storm clouds as I realized what I said. “I mean—not now. Not here.”

Her expression didn’t change as she stared at me. “Then take me to your house.”

“M-my parents—”

“You didn’t seem to mind them being there when I slept with Mike.”

“That was spur of the moment. Not going to risk it.”

“A hotel then.”

It took me a second to realize she was serious. “Now?”

“Why not?”

I shifted uncomfortably. “What about—” I didn’t know who picked her this week, but I knew someone had.

She understood what I was going for. “Ryan?” I nodded. “What about him?”

There was that familiar twinge I got whenever I thought about her and another guy. So Ryan picked her this week. My mind was already prepping for the content she would make—

“Isn’t it part of the rules that they get first—”

“Isaac.” There was a dangerous flatness to her voice as it was stripped of emotion. The situation took an ominous turn. “Are you seriously suggesting that another guy has priority over my boyfriend?”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Well, no.” I could tell she was angry. It wasn’t displayed on her face, but her body language told another story.

“What do you want?”

“Huh?” I asked, heart thudding against my chest as I tried to buy time to think.

“Right now, Isaac. No games. No bullshit. No teasing. What do you want from me? What do you really want?”

“I want—” My voice caught as I stared into her eyes. Emotions fueled my racing heart. I knew what I wanted. I wanted her. Always had. Yet that wasn’t the only thing anymore. There was still the monster inside me, demanding to be sated. Always craving more. More of the Emma who was out of reach. The Emma who willingly gave herself to another man so I could enjoy it.

I never got a chance to answer. Maybe she figured out what I wanted before I could find the courage to say it. Probably knew it all along. With her hand gripping mine, she pulled me from the kitchen until we were back in the living room. It seemed everyone else had cleared out. Only Ryan remained, tidying up the area. He looked up as Emma pulled me after her, a smile on his face.

“Hey, guys! I figured you two needed a—” His friendly smile faltered at the sight of Emma. Her face was an expressionless mask, but there was no mistaking her mood. “Uh—”

“Tell him,” Emma said, cutting him off as she looked at me.

“What?”

“Tell him what you want.”

“This really isn’t—”

“I’m not doing it if you don’t ask him. Now ask.” Ryan had the look of a confused man who was stuck in the middle of something he didn’t understand. His smile was polite as he struggled to keep a low profile, clearly hoping whatever this was would blow over quickly.

My silence only seemed to push her deeper into her anger. She continued to look at me expectantly. The words weren’t coming. The monster seemed unusually quiet now that Emma was bringing attention to it. I looked at her helplessly.

She shook her head, disappointment filling her eyes as they lingered. Turning her body, she faced Ryan who seemed uncomfortable. “It seems like my boyfriend has zero interest in having sex with me and wants to know if you were interested in taking his place.”

To his credit, he absorbed the statement better than I did. “This some, uh… roleplay?” he asked softly. “You know I’m always down to try something new, but I’m not sure what you want—”

“Nothing like that. My boyfriend wants you to fuck me.”

His eyes left Emma’s to meet mine. He seemed lost. I felt her hand release mine—I’d forgotten we were even holding hands—as I watched her move over to Ryan. Standing on her toes, she reached up to pull Ryan into a kiss. This wasn’t a peck or anything friendly. This was a full-on kiss, full of promise and passion. He reacted immediately, hands sliding around her as she pressed herself against him. There was a naturalness to the sight as if this was nothing new to either of them.

It was a long kiss. One with tongue. Each pulse of my heart felt like it physically moved me through the **** against my chest. There was a short break for air before she continued. I watched in stunned silence as she made out with Ryan. There were no half-measures here. No teasing show to play things up. There was a desire and need in those kisses. A lust that could only be satisfied one way.

Breaking the kiss, her eyes opened, lingering on Ryan as she went back onto her feet. Hand down, she removed his hands from her ass and brought them to her chest instead. Tilting her head back, she let out a heavy breath as his experienced hands went to work. Head still tilted, it slowly turned to look my way. “Is this what you want?” she moaned. Speechless, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from them. What Ryan was doing to her—What she was letting him do. Encouraging him to do.

I turned away, causing the thing inside me to howl in rage. “I—I’ll leave you to it.”

Two steps towards the front door and her voice stopped me. “Where are you going?”

Risking a glance back, I found she had untangled herself from Ryan and was standing there with an angry expression on her face. Poor Ryan looked lost. He was handling the discomfort well, hardly looking flustered by the dynamic playing out before him.

“You are my ride home.” My eyes shifted to Ryan. Her voice brought my attention back to her. “If you want this to happen, you are going to stay here and wait for us to finish.” I didn’t move from the spot as she slowly walked over to me. “Are you staying?”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

Disappointment flickered across her beautiful face. Standing close to me, our eyes never left the others. “Remember, I’m doing this because you want me to.” There was a lump in my throat. I nodded. She hesitated a few seconds, waiting for me to tell her to stop.

I didn’t.

Taking a step back, she ran her hands under her skirt. With a swish of her hips and bending over, she carefully stepped out of her panties. Reaching out, she grabbed my hand and pressed them against my palm before forcing my hand to close around them. “Hold onto those for me. Okay?”

“Em—”

“Ryan, you ready?” she asked, eyes boring into mine.

“Uh… yes?”

“Come on,” she said as she stepped away. Grabbing his hand, she pulled a confused-looking Ryan after her. “Not looking for anything gentle tonight,” I heard her say as they climbed up the stairs. The noises faded and I heard a door close.

Looking down, I stared at the pair of panties in my hand. They were still warm.

What the fuck was I doing?