Alt. Path to Level Five (Unedited)

I was dragging my feet. Part of it was rooted in cowardice, but in my defense the topic wasn’t something that came up in normal conversation.

‘Hey, Mike, how you doing? You know how the whole thing with Owen blew up our group? Well Emma was wondering if you wanted a go. No pressure, but she won’t date me unless you do.’

Ugh. It sounded terrible even in my head. There was no dressing it up and I could only imagine how Mike was going to react. Emma’s newest video clip the other day reminded me that I was still at Level Four and would stay that way unless I made something happen. It left me with a choice. I could talk to Mike about Emma and risk my one true friendship, or I could let things stay as they were.

It was a torturous choice and one of the hardest to date. Mike was a steadfast friend and had proven himself to be a good all-around guy. We had plans that went back years. It wasn’t only about college, but maybe even beyond that. A friend like him was hard to find and the last thing I wanted to do was lose him.

Then there was Emma. Things were getting serious between us. It was a bit unbelievable we managed to get to this point considering the path here. She was certainly something, and I wanted nothing more than to make her my something.

So it was risk everything, my friendship, my relationship with Emma, all for an unknown future, or play it safe and live with the regret of always wondering what would have been.

Mike and I were downstairs in my basement watching a new anime on Netflix. It was mostly an excuse to hang out and talk shit about stuff, but today seemed off. Our small group had been relatively drama free for four years. Last Saturday pretty much cracked the ship in half and sank the whole damn thing, so it was a bit of a shock at how fast everything had changed. In a way, I saw it coming. Nothing that drastic of course, but Owen was always the volatile one in our group. Sooner or later, he was going to cross a line or push a button that no one should. I bet I would be the same way if I had never gotten close to Emma. She had a way of toughing me to some unpleasant realities. Certainly not the healthiest of ways to get to where I was, but I was happy for it.

“Guess Dungeons and Dragons is a done deal now.” He’d been brooding most of the time, and I figured this was what he was brooding about.

“No way I’m inviting Owen back. Not even if he apologized.”

Mike let out a humorless huff. “As if that asshat would apologize. I still think about what happened and I still can’t believe it. There is so much I don’t understand. Doesn’t even seem real.” He shook his head. “I guess I’m still shocked that you would let it happen. I expected you would step in and stop things.” His voice bordered on accusation.

I took a deep breath, steeling my resolve. This was about as good a time as any.

“Mike, you are my best friend. Probably my only friend now that I think back on the last four years.” He seemed to sit a bit straighter at that. I’m sure he already knew it, but hearing it confirmed always made it better. “So what I’m about to tell you doesn’t come easy. I’m sure it will change the way you think of me, but to be perfectly honest? I need someone to talk to. Too much stuff is bottled up inside and I feel like I’m going to fall apart if I don’t get it out.”

Mike had a serious expression as he shifted in his seat to face me. “You’re my best friend too. Whatever it is, I’ll listen and do my best to keep an open mind.”

I nodded, took a shaky breath, and started talking.

It started at the beginning. Emma wanted a study buddy. Simple enough. Harmless.

Then the evolution. The Game. The pictures I got that grew more explicit and ****.

The more I talked, the easier it became. I explained my relationship with Emma and how that too had evolved over time.

I got all the way up to around last Saturday and stopped, preparing myself for his reaction.

“Holy shit. That’s fucked up.” I grimaced. “You actually have pictures and stuff with other guys?” I nodded. He was silent for a moment. “Don’t you like her?”

“More than anything.”

“But she sleeps with other guys.”

I didn’t answer.

“Like, a lot of other guys, if what you’re saying is true.”

“I like that too,” I answered, embarrassed. “It’s part of our ‘thing.’”

Mike was out of his depth. He looked like a drowning man, but bless his soul he was fighting the current to stay afloat. “So that stuff with Owen, you were cool with that?”

“No. Owen is an asshole and never should have been in that position in the first place.”

“Okay, good. Owen’s behavior was unacceptable so I’m glad we agree on that at least. Not sure I am that comfortable with all the other stuff though.” I hung my head, nodding. Of course. I knew all too well how fucking strange I was. Emma too. “But if that’s what makes you happy, then I guess that’s all that matters.” I looked up at him, surprised. “What? You seriously thought some weird kinks were enough to ruin a friendship?”

“I think this is a bit more involved than a kink.”

Mike shrugged. “If it makes you feel better… I’m a huge hentai person. I look at it more than regular porn… almost exclusively. There. We’re even.”

I chuckled. “I always figured you for a Man of Culture.”

I knew how hard that was to admit. Mike was always freaking out about what other people thought about him. Sharing something like that must be tearing him up with worry.

There was a long silence as we both wallowed in our embarrassment. I started the episode over since we had missed most of it. We got through the entire episode before Mike spoke again.

“So… You and Emma dating then?”

“Not yet.”

“But you want to?”

“…Yeah.”

He scratched his cheek. “You, uh, ask her out?”

“I did.”

“What did she say?”

“It’s… complicated. Remember how I told you she gives me quests and stuff?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, if I want to date her, I have to complete a quest.”

“Oh… What is it?”

I told him and his eyes seemed to bulge. Complete deer in the headlight look.

“Seriously?” he asked after a few seconds.

I nodded.

“What happens if you fail?”

“It ends.” I still didn’t know if Emma was going to nuke this whole thing over it. She made it seem like she was ready to pull the trigger at any moment, but would she really end all this over that? Maybe I could convince her to do some sort of punishment quest instead.

“Dude…”

“I know. I know it’s fucked up. I know what I’m asking and completely understand if you say no.” I hesitated, feeling miserable about being in this situation. “But I like her, Mike. Really like her. Enough that I will **** myself and ask my best friend for the biggest favor ever.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I… I can’t, Isaac.”

I nodded, feeling my shoulders collapse forward. It had always been a long shot. “Don’t stress over it, man. It’s fine.”

He faced the TV to avoid looking at me. His words were like a machine gun. “Can’t deny Emma is super hot, but she is also super experienced. I’m… not. All I would do is make an idiot out of myself. Not to mention she’s a friend—”

“Mike, it’s fine. You don’t need to explain yourself.”

“I’m fucking up your chance though.”

I reached over and gave his shoulder a squeeze. “You owe me nothing, man. Just getting all this off my chest has been a huge help. Don’t worry about Emma and me. I’ll figure something out.” I managed a smile. “If I gave up that easily, I wouldn’t be here in the first place. She is not a woman who enjoys being chased.”

We watched the rest of the anime before I took him home. It was a little awkward, but we powered through it by talking about some games coming out soon. Back in my room, I closed the door and sank into my chair. It was then it hit me. I was going to fail the quest, and with it, my chance of having anything serious with Emma.

As I rested my face in my hands, dark thoughts whispered to me in the absence of hope.

Whispers that maybe this was all part of her plan. An impossible quest. To bring me right to the cusp of what I wanted with all my being.

Then pull the fucking football away.