The Dogged Interrogation

“Okay,” you said as you found yourself trapped in a magically fortified bunker with the two girls who had been stalking you for months and just spent the last twenty minutes chasing you around the castle. You reached into your robes and slowly started to draw your wand. “Let’s not do anything rash…”

“GET HIM!” Daphne shouted.

Forgoing magic completely, the two girls barreled into you and drove you back into the metal grate that was in front of the door. The shorter Tracey went low. The side of her face was pressed into your hip as she hugged her arms around your thighs. Daphne went high, or at least, higher, and slammed her shoulder into your shoulder then used both hands to grab your wand arm and wrench your wand out of your grasp. She turned and chucked it across the bunker.

“Your abnormally long wand won’t help you on the other side of the room!” she taunted.

The dark-haired pureblood grabbed your arm again and yanked you away from the wall, or at least partially, the blonde half-blood clinging to your legs kept you rooted in place.

“Now!” Daphne exclaimed. She quickly twisted around you and shoved you in the back. At the same time, Tracey slid her arms down so she was holding your knees instead of your thighs. This meant that when Daphne pushed you, you pitched forward, and with Tracey locking your legs together you had absolutely no hope of regaining your balance.

Your only saving grace was that Tracey twisted around while you were falling. This caused you to spin so you landed hard on your back instead of your face.

“Ow,” you grunted. The winter cloak you had been wearing during Quidditch practice had fallen open underneath you, revealing the jumper and trousers you were wearing under it.

“Gotcha, Gaunt!” Tracey taunted from where she was lying sideways on the ground near your waist still clinging to your legs.

“Here…” Daphne called your attention up to her as she fished her hands up under her skirt then did a little shimmy and slid a bunched up bit of pale blue fabric down her legs. “Since you insist on being the most infuriating person in all of Hogwarts… take these!” The girl stepped out of her knickers, pinned her skirt down with one hand as she scooped them up, then threw them at you. “Those are my favorite knickers so now you have to tell me!”

“Blue?” you questioned as the light bit of fabric hit you in the face. They were light blue and seemed to be made of a high quality fabric, similar to the two you got from Pansy, and the mint green ones Daphne gave you back in November. You idly wondered if the pureblood girls got their fancy knickers from the same place. Madam Malkin’s in Diagon Alley sold robes for all occasions…did that include undergarments?

“With Greengrass for a surname, everyone assumes that green is my favorite color,” the Greengrass girl confessed, “Being sorted into Slytherin made that even worse. I like green just fine. It’s the main color in my family’s coat of arms. But my favorite color is a nice pale blue.”

“Like your eyes,” you realised as you plucked the knickers off your face and chanced a glance up at the icy blue orbs. They looked even bluer behind the blue-tinted lenses of her enchanted oval glasses.

“Er… yes… like my eyes,” she stammered. Your gaze shifted downward and you noticed that her cheeks had gone slightly pink. But before you could fully process that… she pounced.

“UGH!” you grunted again as Daphne dropped onto your stomach. She grabbed your arms and wrestled them down to your sides then shifted forward while still straddling your stomach so her knees were pressing down on your wrists.

Greengrass scooped up her favorite knickers with one hand then grabbed the collar of your jumper and pulled it out. The mystery-obsessed girl leaned forward and stuffed her bunched up pale blue knickers into the stretched out collar of your jumper.

“There!” she resolved. “I’ve paid you for your information, you pervert!” She pulled out her wand and pointed it at your face. “Start talking or I start hexing! What’s in the Forbidden Corridor!?”

You had to hand it to them. It was actually a very well coordinated ****. Your wand was on the other side of the room, they had your arms and legs pinned down, and Daphne was in the perfect position to hex your face.

“Okay, okay,” you conceded. At least you wouldn’t have to worry about Professor Quirrell overhearing you while you were trapped inside the magically secured bunker. “I suppose I should start with why I went there in the first place… it actually started with a situation similar to this one. Like I told you at the feast when you came back from break, I spent a good chunk of my break practicing fire spells in an abandoned classroom outside the library.”

“We know the one,” Daphne said. “We’ve seen you use it before.”

Stalkers.

You shook your head and continued, “Yeah, well, I was there reviewing the spells I learned, minding my own business, when Potter and Weasley jumped me. Before I know it, I’m in a chair, they’ve got their wands drawn, and Weasley beams me in the face with a Pimple Jinx. Then they started interrogating me. Potter asked me if I was the one who let the troll in on Halloween. I took a moment to tell them that the troll was already in the castle and that no one actually let it in. That caused them to shift their focus to Professor Snape using the troll as a distraction to get into the Forbidden Cauldron. And they accused me of being his accomplice.”

“But that was Quirrell,” Daphne pointed out, “He was the one who brought the troll in for his N.E.W.T. Defense Against the Dark Arts class and he’s the one who came running into Great Hall screaming and caused all the panic. You and I both saw him sneaking away… he was the one using it as the distraction.”

You were almost eager to see her reaction when you got to your encounter with the two-faced man.

“Obviously, Potter and his friends don’t suspect him,“ you explained. “No one seems to except for me. And Professor Snape. But since Professor Snape was the one who turned up with a limp the next day, the Gryffindors blamed everything on him. I reckon what really happened was that Professor Snape went to the Forbidden Corridor to head off Professor Quirrell and got bitten by the monster while he was looking for him.” You paused for a moment, “And that’s actually where they let slip the first clue… Potter said, ‘I saw what Fluffy did to his leg on Halloween’.”

“The monster in the Forbidden Corridor is called Fluffy?” Daphne questioned.

“That’s exactly what I said!” you assured her with a faint smile. “It turns out, the monster is the pet of that stupid oaf Hagrid. But at the time the name didn’t sound overly intimidating. I figured Professor Snape likely got bitten because he got careless and was caught up in looking for Professor Quirrell.”

“I bet that worked out really well for you,” Tracey chimed in with a skeptical smirk.

“We’ll get to that in a bit,” you quipped, “Because after I acknowledged that I knew about the monster, Potter demanded to know if I knew what it was guarding.”

“So there IS a treasure!” Daphne realised. There was an intense gleam in her eyes. “Is that what Potter and his friends are researching? They’re in the library even more than you.”

Again… stalkers.

“They don’t know exactly what it is,” you admitted, “But I decided to bait them and see if they’d let slip what they knew. I told them, of course, I know what it was and that half the castle knows what it is. Then I called into question the intelligence of the great Hermione Granger by pointing out that they’ve spent all this time in the library and she wasn’t able to figure it out. Potter didn’t fall for it. But Weasley did… he said ‘we know it has to do with Nicholas Flamel’.”

You watched as Daphne looked back at Tracey, who shook her head. You thought about using a distraction to escape like you had during the interrogation you were telling the two girls about but even though their attention wasn’t entirely on you - you were still pinned down and unarmed. And Daphne’s wand was still aimed right in your face.

“I take it neither of you know who that is?” you guessed and received two nods in return. “Well, I’ll save you a trip to the library because I found him on one of Goyle’s Chocolate Frog Cards. Nicholas Flamel is a French thirteenth century alchemist. Alchemy boils down to using Potions for Transfiguration.”

Daphne smirked and called you out, “I can see why that would appeal to you, Gaunt.”

“Shut up!” you snapped defensively. “Professor McGonagall said herself that my wand movements have improved.” You quickly shifted the subject away from your shortcomings. “Anyway, the greatest achievement of an alchemist is creating a Philosopher’s Stone. It can turn any metal into gold and can be used to create something called the Elixir of Life. As long as you consume it regularly, you can live forever. Nicholas Flamel was born in the thirteenth century and he’s still alive today.”

“So infinite wealth and infinite life,” Tracey remarked, “That’s some treasure!”

“Yeah, enough to even tempt me into a very short lived treasure hunting career,” you agreed, “I figured the best time to do my expedition to the Forbidden Corridor was while the rest of the school was away. I repeat, a monster named ‘Fluffy’ didn’t sound all that terrifying… at least not at the time. And it wasn’t like I was going empty handed. I owl-ordered the extra ingredients I needed to brew a Fire-Breathing Potion and a Fire Protection Potion. The Fire-Breathing Potion would let me breathe fire like a dragon and the Fire Protection Potion would protect me from getting burned. And against a furry creature named ‘Fluffy’ it seemed like a sound strategy.”

“Wait… are there any dragon parts in a Fire Breathing Potion?” Daphne asked.

“Yeah, a dragon horn,” you answered. “The type of horn you use influences the fire you breathe.”

Daphne bit her lip, “And… what kind of horn did you use?”

Where was this going? “Er… a Romanian Longhorn. I figured there’d be extra for me to brew more later.”

“Gaunt! You idiot!” she scolded you and slapped your chest with her hand that wasn’t holding a wand in your face. “My father works in trading. The horns of a Romanian Longhorn are Class B Tradable Material! Buying them isn’t necessarily illegal but it’s highly regulated! By owl-ordering them, you’ve probably got yourself on some Ministry watchlist now!”

Uh oh. Maybe they’d think you were just an ambitious student?

But then you caught on to something else that had to do with the girl sitting on your jumper. “Wait a minute… I thought your family dealt with plants?” you questioned. Wasn’t that what Parkinson said that first morning back in September?

“We grow and sell the plants!” the Greengrass girl informed you. “And don’t try to turn this around on me! I’m not one of those stupid Gryffindors. You’re the one being interrogated!” She emphasised her point by poking you in the nose with her wand.

“Okay, okay, sheesh,” you replied, “So I go to the Forbidden Corridor, drink my potions, cast the Unlocking Charm on the door at the end of the hallway, pull it open and step inside…” You paused for a moment and saw that both girls were staring at you completely enraptured with your tale. You made a point to lower the pitch of your voice in order to properly convey the horrifying beast you encountered in the Forbidden Corridor. “And I find myself face-to-face with an utterly MASSIVE dog. If you think Hagrid’s boarhound is big, this one was even bigger. Sharp teeth, sharp claws, it filled the room from floor to ceiling. And then it saw me…or perhaps I should say… they… because this dog had THREE heads!”

“A cerberus…” Daphne whispered. She was staring at you in wide-eyed shock. Her hold on her wand had loosened. “The ultimate guard dog…”

While Gemma Farley had compared Daphne and Tracey to a pair of starving dogs that would eventually snap, chase you down, pin you to the ground, and devour you -- a nightmare scenario that you found yourself caught in the middle of -- seeing a monster that could very easily do that made anything the two first years could do to you pale in comparison.

That was probably why you were able to stay so composed during this latest interrogation. Your nightmares of being torn apart by ravenous dogs had been given physical form… and that form was no longer composed of two skinny thirteen-year-old girls. Daphne and the wand she was pointing at your face didn’t scare you. What was the worst she could do? Hex you? You stared into the open mouths of a beast that could easily rend you to pieces AND from existence!

Add on to that, you were still building up to your confrontation with Professor Quirrell, a man who you all knew held no qualms about killing a student. And while a part of you was unsettled by the fact that you were spilling the two-faced man’s secrets, Daphne and Tracey had known about your suspicions of the man since last November and had managed to avoid tipping him off. You hoped that it was because these two particular nosy first years were below his notice. You needed to ensure that the two girls stayed out of his business, and that meant, warning them away from the Forbidden Corridor.

You twisted your head to the side and batted her wand away with your cheek then yanked your arms out from under Daphne’s knees and pushed your back and shoulders up off the floor with your elbows.

“A HELLHOUND from the very pits of Hell itself!” you exclaimed. “And guess what? The demon-dog was fireproof! I screamed and sprayed it with a torrent of dragon fire… and it just slammed itself down on the floor and snuffed out the flames in an instant!”

Daphne shifted backwards, clearly intimidated, as you continued to sit up. “Greengrass, if you never listen to me again in your life, at least do it now, DO NOT. GO TO. THE FORBIDDEN CORRIDOR. That thing will literally tear you to shreds!” No compulsion. No gaze. But you could tell that your warning had sunk in none-the-less.

“Erm… Daphne…” Tracey quietly spoke up. She was still on the ground, doing her job of holding your legs together. She was a lot closer now that you were sitting up. Her face was still about level with your waist. You looked down and immediately went red.

Daphne blinked, saw your reaction, and then she looked down too.

SHE WAS SITTING RIGHT IN YOUR LAP!!

And you all knew that she wasn’t wearing any knickers.

“YAAAH!” Daphne yelped as her face went bright red. She shoved your chest and knocked you back down onto your back then quickly slid forward so she was once again seated on your stomach. You idly noted that the back of her skirt had slid out from under her while she was sliding forward and was no longer tucked underneath her like it had been when she was previously sitting on you. The front of her skirt was still in place and was tucked underneath her, preventing you from seeing anything, but you could still feel that Daphne’s bare bum was pressing down into your jumper.

“Don’t try and distract me, Gaunt!” Daphne snapped, her face still bright red. “What happened? How did you survive?”

You looked up at her and smirked, “Quirrell.”

She blinked and repeated. “Quirrell?”

“Quirrell,” you confirmed with a nod.

Technically, you were skipping ahead. Professor Quirrell saved you from the Boggart version of Flaming Fluffy. But Daphne definitely didn’t need to know the form of your greatest fear.

“Professor Quirrell got me to safety, and naturally, he wanted to know what I was doing there,” you explained. “Self-preservation kicked in, since we all know that he already wants Potter dead, I didn’t hesitate to throw him and Weasley under the Knight Bus. I told him, more or less, what I just told you - how I learned about the Philosopher’s Stone through them and that I decided to investigate. I made a point to emphasise that Potter and his friends don’t actually know what the stone is and that they think Professor Snape is trying to steal it. And, of course, there was the unsaid but extremely important part that I didn’t implicate him or reveal that I knew he was the one who was actually after the stone. And miraculously… he didn’t kill me.”

“Obviously,” Daphne said as she poked your chest which contained your still beating heart.

“Professor Quirrell informed me that the monster hellhound was Hagrid’s,” you continued, “And that the most terrifying creature I’ve ever seen is but the first of SEVEN defenses that were placed in front of the Philosopher’s Stone. The four Heads of House each supplied something. So that’s Hagrid, Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, and Snape. Professor Quirrell pointedly told me that he provided an especially large mountain troll that’s likely even bigger than the one from Halloween, and then the Headmaster added his own magical defense to the end.”

“You’d have to be insane to try to get through all that!” Tracey imparted.

“Professor Quirrell is,” you countered. You left it up to her whether you were responding to the insane part or just the bit about him trying to get through. “And, understandably, he seems to be having trouble getting by Fluffy. So he assigned me an extra credit assignment… he gave me until the end of the month to write an essay detailing as many ways to get by that cerberus as possible. Potter and Weasley accused me of being Professor Snape’s accomplice in trying to steal the stone… but they unknowingly set me down a path which ended with me being the accomplice of the man who is actually trying to steal it.”

It was quiet for a moment as that sunk in, then Daphne quietly inquired, “What happens if Quirrell isn’t satisfied with your essay?”

You cleared your throat and did your best to quote the two-faced man’s last ominous threat, “‘You have potential, Gaunt. It would be a shame for it to be snuffed out prematurely because you made the mistake of crossing the wrong person.’”

“...” Daphne was silent. She stared down at you with a wide-eyed expression.

“I just can’t picture the stuttering fool from class saying something like that,” Tracey remarked.

“Haven’t I told you?” you asked. “He doesn’t stutter when we’re alone. The man’s two-faced and it’s super creepy.” You folded your still-freed arms across your chest and gave Daphne a cross look. “I think I’ve said more than enough. Despite me repeatedly warning you to stay out of my business, you now know what I know. You’d better be careful not to get on Professor Quirrell’s case… I doubt he’ll let you two off with a **** threat and an extra credit assignment. If he thinks you know too much… he might kill all three of us to ensure that his tracks are covered.”

“...” Daphne didn’t respond. She still seemed to be processing everything.

“I think that means it’s my turn now,” Tracey reasoned. She finally relinquished her hold on your legs and turned so she was sitting facing away from you. You watched her from behind as she proceeded to reach under her skirt and pull off her own knickers. She turned back around and shuffled over so she was kneeling beside your upper body instead of your legs and dangled a triangle of green-and-white striped cotton fabric in front of you. “At least I’m not giving up my favorite knickers…” You remembered the teal and green ‘Mystery Machine’ designed knickers with the blue and gold SD diamond from Scooby’s collar at the center from back in November. She grabbed the collar of your jumper like Daphne had and stuffed her underwear inside along with Daphne’s. “And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about. You’re a pureblood… how do you know Scooby-Doo?”

You let out a long, dramatic sigh. You’d been bugging the girl about this for two months now. Since you first saw and recognised the design of her Scooby-Doo knickers. You supposed you owed ‘Velma’ some kind of an explanation.

“Alright, fine…” you relented, “I don’t know what rumors you might’ve heard about my upbringing... but I live in a shack.”

“What?” Daphne blurted out. Apparently, that revelation had been enough to break her trance.

“The hut the Groundskeeper lives in is actually bigger,” you confessed, “Although, I think that’s more to do with the size of the occupant. I suppose it might’ve been a quaint little cottage hidden away in the woods at some point… but the last resident was my grandfather Morfin Gaunt. He was sent to Azkaban in 1945. He died there. It sat abandoned for over forty years until I was discovered and dumped there.”

Daphne shook her head, “I refuse to believe that the Ministry would allow the last member of an ancient line to live in such… squalor. Especially after all the effort they expended to find you.”

“They never actually expected to find me,” you reminded her. “But you’re right. They had an Auror search the place and root out the worst of the mess. The way he tells it, the outside was being consumed by a thicket of Devil Snare vines and resembled a rundown hovel. The inside was overrun with a terrible Doxy infestation.” And underneath, there was a pit of deadly snakes that the overworked Auror missed. “I was moved in once all the pests were removed and after that they assigned me a House Elf to help with the general upkeep.”

“You have a House Elf?” Daphne questioned.

“I don’t have one,” you clarified, “He normally works for the Ministry in the Magical Maintenance Department. He’s kind of mental. He once served a family but he was given clothes and set free. If you think normal House Elves are weird… try seeing a free one. He’s completely off his rocker. At the very least he was able to clean the place, arrange an actual proper bed for me to sleep in, and keep me fed. Although, my meals usually consisted of whatever they were serving in the kitchen at the Ministry of Magic. The Doxys ensured that none of the kitchen implements were fit to use anymore.”

“So… I’m guessing you didn’t have a telly then?” Tracey deduced.

“I had to fight to get a proper bookshelf,” you informed her. “My shack is in the woods about a mile outside of the main village. Not exactly a good spot to be hooked up to an… eelektrick grid.”

“Quit pulling our legs, Gaunt!” Daphne scolded you as she reclaimed her wand and rapped you on the forehead with it. “You’re way too smart and well adjusted to have been raised by a barmy House Elf.”

You smiled at her, “Why, that almost sounded like a compliment.”

“My mistake, I meant it as a threat,” she growled. “Answer Tracey’s question or I’ll hex you!”

You weren’t actually intimidated but you decided to move things along. “I’m getting to it. Have some patience, will you? Yes, you’re right. I wasn’t raised by a House Elf. He was mainly there to keep the place livable. The Ministry used the rest of the money from Lucius Malfoy’s war orphan fund to hire a cranky old squib as my tutor. I learned to read back at the orphanage. But I got a lot better at it thanks to her and the looming threat of her cane.” You raised your voice to do your impression of Mrs Pringle. “‘I’m not here to listen to the inane prattle of a child. If you have something worthwhile to say then speak like a proper adult and maybe I’ll listen.’ I suppose I have her to thank for my diction and vocabulary.”

“I doubt she let you watch television,” Tracey imparted.

“No, she definitely did not,” you agreed, “But she wasn’t there all the time. On weekends, or when she was unavailable, I’d have a rotation of Ministry-appointed minders to look after me and make sure the House Elf and I didn’t burn the place down. You cause one fire with a deck of Exploding Snap cards and suddenly you’re a fire hazard. Kingsley Shacklebolt was the Auror who did the initial inspection and he’d come by maybe once a year to check up on the place. And maybe fix the occasional spot of fire damage. But the Ministry obviously didn’t want to relegate one of their valuable officials to what basically boiled down to a babysitting gig. So they pawned the job off on the muggleborn interns.”

“Oooh…” Tracey’s eyes widened as she no doubt caught on.

“My first Ministry appointed ‘Nanny’ was this muggleborn witch Mary Fleetwood.”

“Not Mary Poppins?” Tracey interjected with a small grin.

You stared blankly. “No… Fleetwood.” Was that reference to something? “She and her boyfriend, Reg, both worked for the Ministry at the time. They eventually got married and she probably took his name but I don’t think it was Poppins. It was Catter-something. ”

“Nevermind,” Tracey said with a small sigh. “I guess you haven’t seen that one.”

“Well, anyway, Mary Fleetwood adamantly hated staying in the shack. She said it gave her the creeps. And considering my relatives were about as anti-muggle as you can get… I didn’t really blame her. So she’d pay out of her own pocket for us both to ride the Knight Bus somewhere else. We’d either go to her boyfriend’s place in Evesham and he’d turn on the Wizard Wireless for me so I could listen to a Quidditch match or something while they went off to snog… or else we’d go to her parents’ place. Her muggle father was a greengrocer and they lived in a flat above the store so there were always plenty of snacks. When we went there she’d plop me down in front of the telly and then go downstairs to work a shift in the store.” You gave the blonde girl a firm nod, “And that, is how I know what Scooby-Doo is.”

Daphne rolled her eyes, “You do realise, you could’ve saved us a ton of time by simply saying ‘one of my Ministry babysitters was a muggleborn girl who stuck me in front of the tellyvision instead of watching me.’”

“It’s called storytelling,” you retorted, “Would you have really been satisfied with that after two months of annoying stalking?”

“He has a point,” Tracey actually agreed with you over her best friend. “I gave up my knickers for that. They might not be as nice as yours but I would’ve called shenanigans if that’s all the answer I got.” The blonde half-blood looked back at you, “What happened to Mary?”.

“She got pregnant,” you answered. “She was my Nanny for about three years. Her boyfriend quickly became her fiance and she decided that she would be better suited taking care of her own family rather than being stuck in a dead-end Ministry job minding someone else’s kid.” You shrugged. “They got married at some point but I certainly wasn’t invited to the wedding. I haven’t seen either of them since.”

Daphne smirked, “Are you sure they were just snogging when you were in the other room?”

“Yes!” you quickly assured her. There wasn’t always a Quidditch match on the Wireless so sometimes you’d wander off. ”I’m sure!” You paused and glanced from one girl to the other. “Can you get off me now? I answered both your questions. I think we’re–UGH!” The air was forcibly driven out of you when Daphne threw herself down on you. She was now completely on top of you. Her face was REALLY close, Like only a few inches above yours.

You had the sudden image of a time you caught Mary and Reg snogging in a similar position.

Wait! She wasn’t going to kiss you, was she!?

NOPE!

Daphne pressed her wand against the side of your face. You **** yourself to keep an even expression as you felt a chill as the tip of her grew cold against your cheek. Those ice-cold blue eyes were a mere three inches away through two oval-shaped lenses of blue-tinted glass.

“If that’s what you think… then you’re not as perceptive as I thought you were,” she whispered. “The knickers were to get you to start talking. But we both know that I haven’t been following you for two months because you went to the Forbidden Corridor. I just learned about that today.” You were suddenly reminded of her less-than-subtle attempts at catching you in the act of using your Serpent’s Gaze. Unfortunately, she was close enough to recognise the recognition in your eyes. “There it is. You’ve still got one more juicy secret left to spill… and I’m not leaving until you do!”

Your crafty Slytherin mind hastened to devise a plan of escape. Tracey was no longer holding your legs. Daphne wasn’t very heavy. You could roll over and…

WHAP! “None of that!” Daphne rudely interrupted you as she smacked your cheek with her freezing cold wand and derailed your train of thought. Your cheek felt numb. “You’re not getting out of this one, Gaunt! No talking your way out, no distractions, and no running away!”

Your wand was on the other side of the room… but if you could get to it… a couple Stickfast Hexes would keep them from…

WHAP! “I said knock that off!” She smacked your other cheek. This time with her hand. “I’m staring you right in the face! I can see you scheming plain as day!”

Scratch that. The bothersome girl would probably just take her shoes off and chase you in her socks.

“What do you even want?” you asked.

Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t play dumb! You know what I want, Gaunt! DO IT! DO THE THING!”

Was she asking what you thought she was asking?

Her icy blue eyes were staring you right in the face. She was barely blinking.

Tracey was beside you watching like a hawk.

You stared at the tinted blue glass inches above your face. The lenses were charmed, right? If those spells were worth a damn they’d prevent your compulsion from working. Then you could maybe lie your way out of it and perhaps convince them…

“NO SCHEMING!” the witch shouted. “DO IT!”

Backed into a corner. Tackled to the ground. A witch shouting in your face. Her cold wand pressed into your numb cheek. She wouldn’t even let you complete a proper train of thought.

“DO IT!” Daphne demanded.

“FINE!” you snapped. Your mind again flashed back to that time you caught Mary and Reg snogging in a position that mirrored the one you were in now. “You have the urge to kiss me.”

Tracey gasped.

Daphne froze.

You winced and instantly regretted it as you realised that you played right into their hand.

Daphne blinked owlishly and her eyes drifted down from your eyes to your lips.

You held your breath. It wouldn’t work, right? Her glasses were charmed, right!?

WRONG!

Suddenly, her lips were on yours.

And, suddenly, you were having your first kiss with Daphne Greengrass.

The pressure was firm but also with a hint of hunger to it. Like she was releasing two months of pent up aggression caused by unsuccessful stalking.

Her eyes were closed now and she let out a quiet little mewl as her lips moved against yours.

And she wasn’t stopping. Your first kiss was quickly turning into a first snog.

You still had yet to respond. You were still wrapping your head around the fact that your compulsion had actually worked. She was wearing special glasses!

Fate finally intervened. Or rather, Tracey did. She grabbed Daphne around the waist and dragged the girl off of you.

“How could you do that!?”

The accusation cut across the room like a whip.

You sat up. Tracey was crouched down behind Daphne, with her arms still around the other girl’s waist. Daphne was staring silently down at the floor.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you miss the part where she was smacking me and shouting in my face!?” You felt your cheek and weren’t completely surprised when you found icy grains of frost on your skin.

“You **** her to kiss you!” Tracey shot back.

“****?” you repeated. “Whoa! Hold on! I said she had the urge to kiss me. Not that she had to. People have all sorts of urges! You probably have the urge to hex me. The urge to scratch yourself in public. The urge to follow me around like a pair of crazy stalkers! You pick and choose which urges to indulge.”

You scrambled backwards and finally retrieved your wand.

“And another thing!” you quickly added in an attempt to defend your hasty compulsion. You stood up and felt the knickers in your jumper drop downward and hastily tucked the front of it into your trousers so they wouldn’t fall out. “I said kiss. She practically snogged me! Gemma Farley showed us at the return feast that kisses don’t have to be on the lips! She could’ve done it to my forehead. Or my cheek. Like it or not, there was a part of her that wanted to do that!”

“OF COURSE SHE DID!” the blonde half-blood shouted back like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “DAPHNE LIKES YOU! OBVIOUSLY!”

You blinked in surprise. “Wait… what?”

Your gaze shifted down to the girl in question who was staring down at her knees while she knelt on the floor. Her cheeks were pink and voice came in a whisper. “You’re the biggest mystery in Hogwarts.”

Suddenly a bunch of things fell into place.

“I warned you that Daphne had a thing for mysteries. She couldn’t resist.”

“Daphne, it’s been obvious to all of us that you have a thing for Gaunt since you jumped on his back at Halloween.”

“I find it best to focus on one mystery at a time. If I split my attention then there’s a chance that I could miss something vital.”

Daphne had a thing for mysteries… by her own admission you were a mystery… “Ooh…”

Excluding Pansy being intentionally annoying, why was this the first you’d heard of this!?

But then you realised… it wasn’t.

“...at the very least, wait a couple years until you push Greengrass past her breaking point. Maybe then you’ll actually enjoy it when she finally snaps.”

“Well, at least give her some credit for braving this cold to spy on you. She even talked her friend into coming out with her. Maybe in a couple years you’ll appreciate that kind of dedication.”

“Ooooh…” So, apparently, it was obvious to everyone but you.

“I warned you. You got yourself into this mess. You’ll have to get yourself out of it.”

You rubbed the back of your head as you nervously eyed the two girls. One of whom supposedly liked you. What could you do at this point? “Er… I suppose I’ve buggered this whole thing up, haven’t I?”

Tracey finally released Daphne and you were both relieved when the girl didn’t immediately launch herself at you. Maybe that bit about urges sunk in?

The dark-haired girl had her eyes shut and her face scrunched up. Her mouth was in a firm line and she seemed to be repeatedly clenching her hands.

“Have you seen Aladdin?”

“What?” you asked. Caught off guard by the blonde half-blood’s question. “No. Who’s that?”

“It’s an animated movie,” she explained as she pushed herself up so she was standing behind the still kneeling Daphne. “Aladdin is the main character. It came out in theaters over a year ago. November 1992. My parents gave me the video cassette as a Christmas present.”

“What does a muggle film have to do with anything?” you wondered.

“A lot, actually,” the apparently avid tellyvision and film watcher responded. “Because when I watched it again over the holiday… It made me think of you. I even had Daphne come over to watch it with me and we noticed a lot of… similarities.”

“Is this going somewhere?” you inquired.

“Hey, you had your chance to tell long winded stories,” she countered, “now it’s my turn. So… Aladdin starts off as an orphan street rat.” You flinched at the blonde’s emphasis of the word ‘orphan’. “He’s fast-talking, cunning and resourceful. And he lives in a hovel.” You flinched again. That last bit sounded like something she just came up with on the spot. “When he’s introduced, he’s stolen a loaf of bread and leads the guards on a whirlwind chase through the marketplace. Like the one you just led US on! Everyone writes Aladdin off as a worthless street rat… but he isn’t. He gives away the loaf of bread he risked his neck for to a pair of starving kids. And he saves the disguised Princess Jasmine from getting her hand chopped off by an angry apple vendor.”

“I think you’re getting off track,” you pointed out.

“I’m trying to include the important details since you haven’t seen the movie,” Tracey insisted. “And I seem to recall someone risking his neck to save Neville Longbottom during our Flying Lesson. There were seven brave Gryffindors in that class. All of them had brooms too. And yet you were the one who flew up and saved him.”

You rubbed your shoulder as you recalled the phantom pain of it being pulled out of its socket when you tried to catch Longbottom after he fell from his out-of-control broomstick.

“But Aladdin ISN’T just an orphan street rat,” she continued. “It turns out he’s the Diamond in the Rough. He’s brought to the Cave of Wonders where it’s revealed that he’s the only one worthy of entering. He’s instructed to retrieve an oil lamp and touch nothing but the lamp. Aladdin proves his worth by resisting temptation and walking past mountains of gold and valuable treasure to get to the lamp. Aladdin’s pet monkey isn’t so pure and tries to take a giant ruby. That causes all the treasure to melt away and become boiling lava! Aladdin jumps on the magic carpet that he befriended on the way in and it turns out he’s a natural flyer and suddenly he’s out flying tidal waves of burning lava!”

“Wait a minute,” you interrupted. “I thought you said he couldn’t touch anything but the lamp? How’d he befriend and ride on the magic carpet? Isn’t that against the rules?”

Tracey huffed in annoyance, “Not you too… The magic carpet didn’t count, okay? It was basically sentient! Stop poking holes in the story!”

Not you too? It sounded like someone else had already had her turn poking holes in the movie Tracey was describing.

“I think the thief that got crushed by the cave at the start of the film was transfigured into the carpet,” Daphne finally spoke up. Her eyes were open again and she was staring at a spot on the floor.

“Can’t I just tell the story? Both of you are so cynical.”

You shrugged, “What? You’re the film expert. All I have to go off of is what you tell me and that means I have to point out when you tell me something contradictory. Like is Aladdin really a natural at flying when actually it’s the sentient magic carpet that’s doing all the flying?”

“The monkey definitely wasn’t,” Daphne imparted. There was a faint hint of a smile on her face.

“Anyway!” Tracey snapped. “Aladdin almost makes it out of the cave and hands over the lamp to the man who sent him in. But he’s betrayed and left to die in the cave. Aladdin survives though and his monkey redeems himself when he reveals that he stole back the lamp. It turns out there’s an all-powerful magical genie trapped inside.”

“Don’t you mean a magic djinn?” you suggested.

“No, a genie,” she declared with a certainty that told you she and Daphne already did the comparison. “Djinn are malicious spirits and always try to twist the wishes they grant so they end badly. This genie was a funny goofball. It was actually Aladdin who used his Slytherin cunning to trick the Genie into using his powers to get them out of the collapsed Cave of Wonders without using one of his three wishes.”

You opened your mouth to ask about the power of the three wishes but Daphne spoke up again and cut you off. “There are restrictions. The Genie can’t kill anyone, he can’t **** people to fall in love, and he can’t bring people back from the dead. Also, no wishing for more wishes.” Daphne glanced back at her annoyed friend. “You know he was going to ask.”

“Could you wish for immortality?” you inquired as you thought of real-life mystical treasure that you learned about during the holiday.

“I don’t know,” the blonde girl admitted, “Maybe? No one in the movie did. After tricking him, Aladdin befriends the Genie and asks him what he’d wish for. The Genie admits that he’d wish for freedom since he’s been a prisoner of the lamp for ten thousand years so Aladdin promises to use his third wish to set the Genie free.”

“Can we get back to the part where this film reminded you of me?” you requested.

Tracey smirked almost as if she had been waiting for you to say that and replied, “Aladdin decides to use his first wish for love. He wants to be with Princess Jasmine but the law states she can only marry a Prince. So he uses his first wish to assume a fake identity and pass himself off as a Prince!”

You folded your arms across your chest, “What are you implying, Davis?”

“Oh, nothing,” Daphne interjected again. “Prince of the Purebloods, Last of the Gaunts, Sacred Descendant of Hogwarts Founder Salazar Slytherin.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve got it backwards,” you assured her. “I am the last of the Gaunts. And I am a descendant of Salazar Slytherin. The orphan living in a shoe with a fake name was the one living under a false identity. There are certain expectations of me now and I’m doing my best to meet and exceed them to show people I was worth all the effort.”

“See? A Diamond in the Rough.” Daphne chanced a glance back up at you but then immediately jerked her head back down and looked away. Her cheeks went a faint pink. Obviously, you already knew what she was thinking.

Tracey was frowning after following the whole exchange, “Maybe it’s time I told you about the other character you reminded us of: the villain - Jafar.”

“Oh, great, so now I’m the bad guy,” you remarked.

“I’m just pointing out the similarities,” Tracey assured you, “For starters, Jafar has a talking parrot named IAGO!”

You blinked in surprise at hearing the name of your own avian pet. “What?”

“Back in September, I could’ve sworn you named your owl after the bird from that movie…”

“I told you,” Daphne suddenly spoke up. Her eyes were still squeezed closed. “Iago’s a character from the Shakespearean play Othello.” Daphne knew Shakespeare? “Although, he’s a villain there too.”

“Iago’s ambitious and cunning,” you defended the character you named your owl after. “I was sorted into Slytherin so I decided to give my owl a proper Slytherin name.”

“So is Jafar,” Tracey countered. “Or maybe devious and completely power hungry would be more accurate? And also manipulative and untrustworthy. He’s snake-like and when he wears his headdress he looks like a hooded cobra, Pharaoh Gaunt!”

They heard about that!? That showed how trustworthy Captain Crabbe and Minister Goyle were!

“He’s the royal adviser to the Sultan - the Grand Visier,” the blonde half-blood continued. “And for your information - boy who discovered the location of the Philosopher’s Stone - he’s the one who knew about the lamp and the Genie in the first place. He’s the one who joined the two halves of the mythical scarab together in order to find the Cave of Wonders. He’s the one who used magic from the Sands of Time to learn that Aladdin was the Diamond in the Rough. And he’s the one who brought Aladdin to the cave and sent him inside to retrieve the lamp.”

“And that means he’s also the one who betrayed Aladdin and left him to die,” you realised internally.

Tracey’s brown eyes were hard behind her ‘Velma’ glasses. “And the most important part, and the reason why I brought the movie up in the first place, Jafar carries around a golden staff that’s shaped like a cobra and he uses it to hypnotise people and **** them to do what he wants!”

“I told you, I didn’t **** her to do anything!” you insisted as this was starting to sound like a personal attack. “I said she had the urge to do something. Something she, apparently, didn’t need all that much prompting to do!”

“He has a point,” Daphne quietly confessed, “I’ve wanted to do something shocking to wipe that smug, know-it-all, smirk off your face since Halloween.”

“How about the first time you used it on her?” Tracey retorted accusingly. “Back in November.”

“You won’t tell anyone what you learn in my room today.”

“That was for her safety,” you insisted. “You two keep meddling in the affairs of an attempted child-murderer. I’m trying to save your lives.”

“Tracey, pull your skirt up,” Daphne suddenly cut in.

Tracey went beet red as she wordlessly reached down and grabbed the hem of her skirt and pulled it up to her waist. You knew she wasn’t wearing any knickers under it because those were currently inside your jumper. But Daphne knew that too which was why her position, kneeling on the ground in front of her friend, put her at the perfect height to prevent you from seeing anything.

“You don’t mind exposing yourself if it’s for Daphne’s benefit.”

“Figured that one out after you messed with us before the Puff-and-Claw match,” Daphne stated. “Who were you protecting then, pervert?” She leaned back slightly, “That’s enough, Tracey.”

The blushing half-blood dropped her skirt.

“Hey, who was messing with who?” you argued, “You were the one hiding behind a column and using your friend and her Scooby-Doo knickers as bait. I just wanted to get out of there.”

Daphne closed her eyes and finally stood up. She took a deep breath and then opened them. “We’ve known you could do that eye-thing since early November.” Her cheeks were still faintly pink and she wasn’t looking directly at you but it appeared as though her confidence had returned now that she was discussing the results of their relentless stalking. “But we needed some kind of proof. Tracey couldn’t exactly describe what it felt like to have one of your orders in her head. And I didn’t notice the one you put on me until I tried to tell Tracey about the scene you saved on your Omnioculars. I wanted a new one now that I knew what I was looking for.”

“Is that what all the following me around and baiting me was about?” you questioned. “Getting proof?”

“And now I’ve got that.” Daphne confirmed. “In the form of your voice whispering in the back of my mind and reminding me that I want to kiss you. And as you pointed out, a part of me already wanted to do that. But that goes both ways. There were worse things you could have ordered me to do. If you truly wanted nothing to do with me… you could’ve ordered me to leave you alone. And if you were a major pervert instead of just a minor one… you could’ve ordered me to strip naked or do something. But you didn’t.” The corners of her mouth quirked upward into a small pleased smile. “I was intentionally keeping you off balance. Your order was a knee jerk reaction. So if me kissing you is the first thing that came to mind… I now know that there’s a small part of you that wanted to kiss me too.”

You felt your face heat up. Tracey gave you a very hard look.

“Er… I mean, who wouldn’t want to kiss a pretty girl?” you imparted. “And… I suppose…while you’ve basically been the bane of my existence… there’s a small part of me that maybe… sort of… kind of… a little bit… liked that I held so much of your attention…”

Daphne finally looked directly at you and her blush immediately darkened as the compulsive urge to kiss you ran through her head. But the Greengrass girl resisted and remained rooted where she was.

“You also pointed out those loop holes in your order,” she added. “So it’s not absolute. And with the added motivation of the fact that I don’t particularly like the idea of you ordering me around, I’m able to ignore your voice whispering in the back of my mind.”

“You sure you’re okay?” Tracey asked with concern as she stepped forward and grabbed Daphne’s arm with a supportive squeeze.

Daphne nodded. “I was overwhelmed at first… but I’m in control now.”

“Wait… what about the glasses?” you wondered aloud. “I thought you put some kind of defensive spell on them? That’s half the reason why I even did it.”

“Magic Detection Charms,” Tracey explained. “I saw a faint light go from your eyes to Daphne’s when you finally went Jafar on her.”

“So… what happens next?” you prompted. You tried to hide the nervousness in your voice. “What’re you going to do now that you have your proof?”

Daphne shrugged. “Nothing. We realised you had a special ability beyond being a Parselmouth… and we looked into it. Now we have evidence of it. Case closed.” She added to her point by removing her glasses and tucking them away. She glanced over at Tracey.

“I like them,” the blonde half-blood said as she fingered the dark frames of her square glasses. “We paid a lot of money to have them properly spelled over the holidays. I think I’ll keep using them for a while.” The fact they resembled Velma Dinkley’s glasses may have also played a part in that decision.

You were still wary of the suddenly cavalier attitude of the two girls. They had you over a barrel and they were just… letting you off!?

“You mean you’re not going to tell anyone?” you prodded, “Get me expelled?”

“Why in the world would we do that?” Daphne asked. “You have a wand, Gaunt. You could kill someone with that. Here at Hogwarts, you’ll at least keep learning restraint. Maybe then you’ll be able to control YOUR urges.”

“And have we given away any of your secrets?” Tracey inquired. “You and Potter are the ones that Quirrell seems fixated on. He barely pays us any attention.”

“You told Pansy about your knickers,” you recalled.

“Yes, and now she trades you her knickers every time you do her a favor,” Daphne countered. “Do you think we missed her walking stiffly and blushing slightly when she hung back with you following that final Potions class last term?”

“It’s Pansy,” Tracey stated. “She’s annoying. Even to us.”

“Especially to us,” the dark-haired pureblood added. “Now, if she suddenly decided to run starkers through the Great Hall, then we’d probably need to have words. You know that we know, so now you know to watch yourself.”

“That’s the whole point, isn’t it?” the blonde half-blood reasoned, “It’s not a matter of whether you can do something… it’s how you use that ability. We’re not just learning to cast spells at Hogwarts. We’re learning when and how to use them. Both Aladdin and Jafar used the Genie’s powers during the movie. Aladdin wished to be a Prince so he could win the heart of the Princess. He befriended the Genie and the Genie genuinely liked him. The Genie actually used Aladdin’s second wish to save his life when Jafar tried to have him drowned. But it was when Aladdin confronted him after that Jafar spotted the lamp and finally saw through the Prince disguise. He had Iago steal the lamp and then he was the Genie’s master.”

“Jafar definitely didn’t try to befriend the Genie,” Daphne imparted. “He called the Genie ‘****’. That’s another thing you could’ve ordered me to do… if you were truly evil.”

Tracey nodded emphatically. “All Jafar cared about was gaining the power he always craved. He immediately wished to rule on high as Sultan and then, when the Sultan and Princess refused to bow to him, he used his second wish to become the most powerful sorcerer in the world. Instead of just hypnotising people… he had his own magical powers that he used to **** everyone to do whatever he wanted. And then he tried to use his final wish to **** the Princess to fall in love with him.”

“I thought that was against the Genie’s rules?” you asked.

“It was,” Daphne said. “It didn’t work. She pretended it did. But it was really just a distraction so Aladdin could try and steal the lamp back.”

“But that’s what it all comes down to,” Tracey resolved. “You need to take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror and decide who you want to be: the hero… or the villain?”

There was a prickling thought at the back of your mind. If you were both Aladdin and Jafar… then who was the Princess?

You tensed as the dark-haired girl strode up to you. Her best friend dutifully followed her and looked ready to pull her away if she lost control again. Her face was pink but being in close proximity didn’t cause her to launch herself at you.

Daphne reached up and brushed your cheek with her fingers. It was the one she nearly froze earlier and you were pleased to feel that it had partially thawed. “You’re clever, Gaunt. You also have a wonderful talent for finding things out. And, fortunately for us, you can also be bribed.” She reached down and poked you in the stomach where your jumper contained her and Tracey’s knickers. “Trading my favorite knickers to learn that the Philosopher’s Stone is hidden at Hogwarts behind a gauntlet of seven assorted traps and monsters was a no brainer. I’d say that makes you worth keeping around.”

She patted you on your cold cheek and then leaned in and gave you a quick peck on the other one.

“Hm, kissing the cheek does reduce the urge,” she mused. “Do let us know if you find out anything else of interest. And maybe don’t **** us to chase you down next time.”

With that, the two girls turned around and headed for the magically fortified door. Daphne pushed the lever which caused the iron grate to rise and then Tracey removed the beam from the brackets and opened the lock.

“Ughh…” Daphne groaned as soon as they opened the door. “It smells revolting out here!”

“Hey wait,” you called after them as you realised they hadn’t told you the end to the Aladdin story. “That was only two wishes each. How did the film end?”

“We’re still waiting to find that out for ourselves,” Tracey replied with a rather pointed look at you.

“If you care so much, find the film and watch it yourself,” Daphne advised before they rushed off to escape the terrible scent.

You were left alone in the open bunker and found yourself confused about a lot of things. But that bizarre altercation did bring you to one definite conclusion.

“I really don’t understand girls at all!”

You shook your head as you walked out of the bunker and were immediately **** to pinch your nose closed due to the lingering scent of the disgusting balloon that Peeves had thrown at the magically fortified door once you were hidden away. You could only imagine how horrid it would’ve been to have been splattered by the actual balloon.

But when you looked back at the door… it was gone. Only a plain stone wall remained.

That was odd. The bunker had appeared when you needed it and vanished when you were done. And while you hadn’t necessarily gotten the clean getaway you were hoping for, the strange nature of the magically appearing bunker warranted looking into. Perhaps when the corridor smelled better.

You decided to try and pinpoint where in the castle you actually were so you could find your way back at a later date. You fixed your gaze on the tapestry across from you and had to blink a few times to process the scene before you.

There was a strange little man in a blue tunic striking a dance pose in the middle and he was surrounded by an assortment of mountain trolls of varying sizes. Each one of the trolls was wearing a hideous-looking ballet costume that made them look ridiculous. It appeared as though the strange little wizard was trying to teach the trolls how to dance. And if there was one thing you could say for certain about trolls: they are NOT graceful. AT ALL.

“Barnabas the Barmy,” you intoned after you read his name on the bottom. “Consider yourself on notice. I’ve got a busy schedule but I’ll be back later to investigate this strange room of yours.”

Daphne said you had a talent for finding things out and solving mysteries… well, it looked like you just found a new one to investigate. Provided Professor Quirrell found your essay satisfactory and didn’t kill you first.