Emotional progression

“What do you mean ‘accidentally’? How is that even possible?” Jenny asks as she walks up the dirt path back to the school, a few paces ahead of me.

“I don’t know. It’s never been like this before. I could always feel something. A pull from within. But today, nothing. And it took so little B— so little... magic energy,” I explain as I try to keep up with her.

Julian had an appointment to get to in the village, so we left on our own a few minutes ago.

“Alright, let’s just look at this scientifically. Was anything different than usual in what happened before you used your powers?”

“Well that’s part of the problem. There are so many variables that were different than usual. It was the first time I used my powers while drunk. It was the first time I used them on someone who was drunk. It was the first time I had a conversation with them that required such a small leap in logic to take hold. It was the first time I was using my powers outside of the school...”

I trail off as I run out of breath. This path feels a lot steeper when you’re going up. Seems like Jenny’s got stronger legs than she looks though, and I’m actually struggling to match her pace.

“It could be all of it. Well, not the being out of school thing, but all of the rest seems like it could’ve made using your magic easier. You know, each of those factors made it need a bit less of that... ‘magic energy’, and when you’re using less of it, it’s... harder to feel it leave you?” She suggests, each word sounding more uncertain than the last.

“I guess that would make sense. I remember the first few times I used mind control, it was physically painful, as if my body wasn’t ready to handle it. But a few days later, I felt fine. Maybe I got used to the feeling just enough that such small amounts of energy become difficult to notice, and the **** made me just numb enough...”

We both stay silent for a few seconds.

“This really sucks...” She says.

We reach the bend in the path where the makeshift bench from earlier gives us a view down on the town, she decides to sit down, probably to let me catch a break.

I take a seat next to her and look at her in puzzlement.

“I thought mind control was always good, how come you don’t like it this time?” I ask.

“Well,” she begins as she lets her hand rest on my thigh. “Mind control is always good, but your judgement about it is always right. If you didn’t want it to happen, then that means it should’ve happened differently. It’s still a good thing that she’s brainwashed, obviously, but it should’ve happened on your terms. Especially because of the rules we talked about the other day. You seemed to really care about following them.”

“I did. I do. And I don’t know how to make things right.”

“Well, it’s hard to say. We need to look at the situation first... what was the exact belief you put into her?” She asks cautiously, though I can’t help but discern a certain excitement in her voice.

“It’s still unclear. Sometimes my powers lead to... branching paths. And I need to pick one. Right now, it’s either something that would change her sexual identity at random intervals, while always trending upwards in libido, or something that would keep her sexual identity the way it is but make her slowly fall in love with me.”

“Hmm. How come they both have to do with her sexual identity?”

“I don’t know,” I lie. “My powers just decide on that kind of thing sometimes.”

I may be essentially an evil overlord, but I’m not going to out someone without their permission, especially less than an hour after they did me the honour of trusting me with it.

And I really do value that trust.

Jenny seems lost in thought, but she eventually asks.

“Her current identity was... relevant to your conversation, wasn’t it?”

Oh, of course she’s figured it out. In conversations and hikes alike, she’s always a few steps ahead of me.

I look down at the village, but stay silent.

“I see,” She sighs, raising her hand from my thigh to wrap it around my shoulder sympathisingly, before joining me in taking in the view. “This place really is beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, we’re lucky to live here.”

Tears well up in my eyes, and I simply let them out.

And I’m not just crying because of the rejection.

I really did mean it when I told her I would respect her identity.

And now it’s all meaningless.

Jenny lets go of my thigh and wraps a sympathetic arm around my shoulder.

What is love if you have **** but to feel it? What is identity if it’s **** upon you?

Love isn’t an emotion, not really. It’s a conversation. A harmony of minds. In constant evolution. People can grow closer together or further apart, and that process is what love is. It's that feeling of fleetingness beyond time that makes it so unique, so worthwhile.

But if one of those harmonious minds has no say in the matter, love can’t really exist. Because it's no longer a conversation, it's a monologue.

And identity is all about evolution. An ever shifting way to perceive a constantly evolving person. But if it’s all random and swinging wildly in all directions, then what sense of identity may arise? She won’t even notice that anything’s wrong, but it’ll change the person she is. Won’t it make all her journey in defining herself meaningless?

Jesus. This is why I set down rules. Why couldn’t I just respect them?

“Hey, if your powers brought us in this mess, maybe they can bring us out of it too,” Jenny says in a kind voice.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, once you’ve picked your path, maybe we can use your mind control to avoid the parts of it you didn’t want. Maybe we can even make things better than they started.”

“You really think so?” I ask as I slowly regain my composure.

“Well... it’s the only way forward, isn’t it?”

“Well, kind of... there is one other option. I could simply decide not to select a path at all. Doing so would make it impossible to use my powers on her in the future, and it’s likely that my conversation with her will still have a bit of an effect, but it’ll be much weaker than if I did pick one.”

She considers the idea for a moment, before letting out a thoughtful sigh.

“I don’t think that’d be the best idea.”

“How so?” I ask

“Look, you keep saying that your powers are dangerous and that you need to use them responsibly, and I get that. You know best how to use them. But you do have a responsibility to use them. And I’m not just saying that because I was brainwashed into feeling this way. I’ve thought about it, a lot, and I’m basically the only person who can tell where the mind control ends and my own reflections begin. Your powers can be a positive **** in the world. You’ve basically stopped bullying in the school, you’ve helped a student overcome her social anxiety, you’ve made me happier than I’ve been in years, and you’re eventually gonna come around to helping me quit smoking, right? These are good things! Yes, you’re taking your cut of the transaction, but ultimately, the positive aspects will stay with the girls all their life. Most of the sexual aspects will go away when they leave the school, and the ones that will stay with them won’t get them into trouble anyways. You have these powers. Accept it. It’d be a waste not to use them.”

I take a deep breath.

“You’re right. The only way out is through. How do we proceed here?”

“Hmm... Which of those path thingies would make it easier to fix any damage?”

I take a moment to think about it.

“The one about falling in love with me, I think. It’s the one that would change her the least. The sexuality one would be way too chaotic for us to control. The love one would keep her personality and her sense of identity intact. She’d still be herself in every way, except for her relationship with me.”

“But if she falls in love with you, wouldn't it be kinda like... you know, kinda like saying that she just needed the right dick to turn her bi?”

“That’s the biggest risk right now, and it’s what we need to avoid. I said I would respect her identity and I’m a man of my word. These paths tend to take their own phrasings very literally, though, so I am somewhat hopeful. It says that she’ll still be a lesbian, and that she’ll still be pursuing experiences with women. Her interest for me will be emotional first, and the sexual aspect will come second. And it’ll take time to ramp up, so she simply won’t feel any... she won’t find me attractive for a while.”

That last part did hurt to say out loud.

“And if I remember correctly what you told me before we took care of Ellen together, it’s hard for your powers to go against an already established belief, right?”

“Yeah, especially when it's a path belief. If we want to salvage this, we need to find a way to keep her in charge of determining her own identity and sexuality, without directly going against the path’s phrasing, and while respecting the rules I set out for myself.”

“It’s gonna be tough to thread that needle,” She reflects.

“Yeah, that’s why it’s good this path doesn’t kick in instantly, we’ll need time to think, observe, and react.”

If I want to go further into this, I need to know the exact phrasing of the belief and the resistance that goes with it, but I don’t feel comfortable showing Jenny the app, knowing her obsession for mind control.

Well, unless...

“Jenny, we’ve agreed that my judgement about using my powers is always right, haven’t we?”

“Oh, are you using your magic to mind control me?” She asks with sparkles in her eyes.

“... Yes.”

“Cool! You’ve got a weird voice when you’re hypnotising, it's easy to spot when you know what to look for. And yes, we have agreed that you’re always right about it!”

“If I’m the only one who knows best, then it makes sense that only I should be allowed to handle these powers, right?”

“Absolutely.”

“So if I showed you a tool that's part of how I use mind control, you would never try to use it yourself or take it away from me, right?”

“That makes sense!”

-2 BS. 33 remaining.

Nice and cheap. Her willingness really makes things a lot easier. And I actually did feel the BS about to be drained this time, albeit only very briefly. I’ve had time to sober up by now, so it’s safe to assume that the **** was the main reason I couldn’t feel it. I’ll have to be mindful of that from now on.

“No judging but as far as mind control goes that was kind of... not much. Can you... mess with me a bit more next time, please?” Jenny pleads.

“Oh I will, I’ve got something in mind already.”

“I can’t wait!”

I pull my phone out of my pocket. I only had enough time in the bathroom to charge it to about 10%, but it should be enough to quickly check the app.

I open it. No XP or cash, looks like 2 BS is just too low to give me either.

“What’s that?” Jenny asks, intrigued.

“Remember how I said my power relies on phrasing? This app is how I can read that phrasing.”

“You really need to tell me more about how these powers work, man.”

“Honestly I don’t know much more about it than you do at this point,” I admit.

I quickly navigate to Julian’s profile and select Path 2: Emotional progression. New lines are added to her profile:

Beliefs:

• The user is worthy of her trust and will always be by her side. She feels comfortable around him. While she experiences no sexual attraction for him, she feels an emotional bond deeper than friendship. (Path belief. Effect strength may increase on its own over time.)

Resistances:

• Target will resist the idea that sexual identity and fetishes can change randomly.

This is... not as bad as I feared.

The resistance is actually reinforcing her right to determine her identity, and the belief is starting quite low.

I was afraid the resistance would make her opposed to the idea of sexual identity ever changing, which would've been even worse for her right to decide, but I suppose that wouldn’t have made much sense after our conversation.

And maybe the app knew what I wanted.

“So, what do we do?” Jenny asks.

“For now, we wait.”

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Hello everyone!

A very dialogue heavy chapter today, as there were a few loose ends that needed to be tied up.

Yesterday’s chapter brought up interesting, well argued and very relevant criticisms from a few people, as both paths I suggested kind of invalidated Julian’s identity in a way that felt a bit too close to certain common, tasteless tropes. Of course, writing about this specific kink of ours means that I’m always going to be straddling some sort of line between what is acceptable and what isn’t, and I’m aware of that, but that only means I have to be even more mindful of what I say.

I realise that I’ve already made several mistakes in writing this story, and I’m grateful to everyone who’s brought them up so far. Good criticism can only make things better.

Now, when it comes to Julian, I’ve tried to take things in a direction that I hope will avoid that tasteless trope, while still keeping things fun and sexy, but feel free to tell me if things get too close to that line, and I’ll see what I can do. And that applies to any other aspect of the story too, past, present or future. The first priority when engaging with this kind of kink is making sure nobody feels hurt.

Thank you for all the comments on yesterday’s chapter. Let’s try and make this story into the best version of itself it can be!

(PS: I usually remove these end of chapter messages when the following chapter is released, but I think I’ll keep this one up, to make it clear that criticism will always be welcome.)