Girl Time! And more Crises!

Just as they thought, Ronnie was ecstatic when they asked if they could go shopping. She was so proud of them leaning into their womanhood, and was glad to help. They considered inviting Riley, but then decided that they really needed everyday clothes right now, not stripper outfits. Those would come later. Plus they wanted to be able to talk about Tobias and Tab’s situation, which they couldn’t do with others around. They may tell her eventually, but it’s only been a day and they wanted time to figure stuff out before bringing others into the fold.

They did decide that Tobias would also stay behind. Like with a lot of things, while Tab had a strange curiosity to explore her feminine side, Tobias really could not be bothered to go shopping for women’s clothes, even if they technically still were in a separate body. It’s weird, but filtered through Tab it’s more enjoyable. Tobias was going to stay behind, play video games, and maybe jerk off like they had spent many a day before all this hivemind business started. Perfect if Tab had wanted any more ‘surprises’.

Tab of course still felt one and the same as Tobias. Almost all the time they felt the exact same things and were in perfect sync, but she felt somewhat independent at times. So any surprises would be for their own enjoyment, like ordering a package while drunk as a gift to your future self. And she knew he would like it. After all, they were them too.

Arriving at the mall off campus, Ronnie and Tab began their journey. It wasn’t very interesting, as they just got all of the necessities Tab needed: bras, underwear, tops that cover more than her boobs, pants that aren’t skin tight and shiny, Ronnie even talked her into getting a few skirts and dresses. That’s not to say they didn’t get anything sexy. They got some nice lace underwear, a bikini for the beach that’s close enough for a day trip on weekends, and maybe the pool on campus, and a few more form fitting clothes for everyday use. They even stopped in a sex shop, where Ronnie bought a few items she wouldn’t let Tab see yet. The whole time they were shopping, Ronnie was giving Tab a crash course on everything she needs to know, from makeup, to hair, to how to put on a bra.

To try and make her and Tobias look less like siblings, and also because she wanted to, even if she wouldn’t admit it, Tab went to a salon and got her hair dyed a nice deep red, as well as general getting it done for the first time as a woman. By the end, it was much curlier, and overall looked much healthier, which along with the color made her feel a lot sexier, which made her body feel a lot more like her own.

By the end, they had plenty of bags and were very thankful that this mall had discount stores, as they didn’t have to pay a small fortune.

They grabbed some food and sat in the food court to talk.

“Y’know Ronnie today was fun! I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I had fun today.”

“I’m really glad you liked it! I don’t know if you always had this side in you or if this transformation has awoken it but I’m here to help you through it”

“Thanks, yeah I don’t…really know” somehow something she said made Tab start doubting herself again. She didn’t know wether she was always inside of Tobias or if she was created when they split. If she was even real at all or just the same mind in a different body. The past day of stressing out got to be too much and she got up and ran to the bathroom, shutting the door where she fell to the floor and began crying. They had never acted like this before. Well to be fair they never had an identity crisis like this before. They were so self confident last night, what happened?

There was a knock on the door and Ronnie called out “Tab come out”

“No I want to just stay here”

“Look I’m here for you, but we don’t have to talk if you just want to be alone. But you need to come out”

“Why?”

“…because you ran into the men’s room”

Embarrassed, Tab got up and looking around noticed the urinals. **** of habit. Luckily it was empty. She quickly dried her eyes with paper towels and stepped out.

Ronnie could immediately tell she had been crying, and took her hand, leading her to the single person family restroom, locking the door behind them. She sat Tab down and took some wipes out of her bag to clean her up.

“If you don’t want to talk that’s ok, but I’m here if you need. If you just want to talk and I listen I’ll be quiet, and if you need help I’ll do what I can”

Tab took a couple minutes to collect herself before speaking

“I just don’t know what I am. I know I am a part of Tobias, but I feel like my own person. But I’m scared to say I am, because…”

“Why?”

“…because then I’m just admitting that I’m the fake.” All at once, all of Tab’s thoughts and everything she was trying to understand clicked into place and the floodgates opened “Because that mean’s that I’m not the person I have memories of being my whole life up until yesterday. I remember when I was one person with one body, living my life, going to school, being with you, until suddenly Tobias is the ‘real’ one and I’m just the copy. It doesn’t matter if we’re the same person; we’re just one person with two bodies, like how everyone has two hands. But if I’m my own person, then I’m the one that just popped into existence yesterday with memories that aren’t my own. All those memories, everyone I care about, that’s not me…my family doesn’t know who I am…you…every memory, every happy moment I had with you…” she trailed off, not wanting to finish that thought.

“Oh Tabby Cat…”

Tab felt Ronnie pull her into a hug. They stayed there for a while, Tab continuing to cry into her shoulder. Eventually, the brunette pulled back, put a hand on each of Tab’s shoulders, and started talking again

“Listen. I know you aren’t sure about what You are. I’m not either, and I don’t think anyone is. Maybe that weird cult you still haven’t told me about. But you aren’t just a shell with Toby’s memories. I’ll tell you who you are. You are Tabitha. And in just the last 24 hours that I’ve known you, we have created so many wonderful memories that are all you, Tabby Cat. No one else”

Tab looked the girl in the eyes, and smiled for the first time in what felt like a while. The pair embraced yet again, and then Tab stood up and looked in the mirror. She wasn’t sure how she and Tobias are connected. They still felt the same on some level, driven by the same mind, but that separation had only grown since last night. She thinks about opening up to him again, revealing everything that she’s going through, but she stops herself. Ronnie notices again.

“Are you alright?”

“I don’t know. Better I think. Today at the doctors I realized I could intentionally hide things from Tobias, like what happened at the party. Just take certain thoughts and sensations and section them off into my side of our mind. I didn’t do it to lie to him or anything, I just wanted to surprise him with the fact that I was on birth control, but then I wanted to be my own person so I haven’t let him back in. I think that’s what started this crisis for me, but I’m scared to open back up to him. I don’t know how he’ll, we’ll react. How fucked up am I? Literally not trusting myself. I think I have a better idea of who I am, or at least who I want to be, but I don’t know what he thinks I am. He probably still thinks I am just an extension of him. That our consciousness is controlling both bodies. One out shopping and one…”

“What?”

“…I’m not sure what he’s doing. I can’t see him.”