Checked. Out.

After the successful raid, stripping the house of its contents, we now had access to ****. I wasn’t sure if the commander knew of this, but the group was ecstatic about it. Not me, though, I had drunk enough **** in my life to ensure a life-long resistance against it. Besides, if there would be a party, I was hesitant to join it. First, the commander could check upon us and break the entire festival into pieces, including the party-goers. Second, there were considerable tensions in the group. The stress of being abandoned by villagers most of us had known their entire lives, fighting then desperately for our own survival, then suddenly being adopted in an army styled suicide squad, by a commander likely to kill us all at the first sign of disobedience were probably all major contributors to the snapping between members of our little group of orphans. That, or the absence of a man leading the group made our natural competitiveness between women burst into the open.

I wasn’t entirely sure why Clara made the suggestion to have a small drinking game. Clara and Sophia were at each other’s throats by now. Each were vying desperately for attention of the commander, or Alex as they dared to call him, but only when he wasn’t around. I was welcome to join but I politely refused. I rather wanted to do guard duty that night, as my contribution to the group, than to watch the predictable fights between the two, induced by **** and see them escalate to open warfare.

Perhaps Sophia was calculating on the remote possibility that the commander would honor them with a surprise visit, because I saw her changing her underwear into sexy lingerie. Better have it and not need it than need it and not have it, I supposed. I wasn’t sure if she thought the commander would be pleased with her brazen ****-induced temptation offers. Or any sort of temptation from her. She acted like she was very much in heat, which she probably was, all the time. No, Kylie had mentioned the commander wasn’t interested in sex that much, so he would certainly not jump at the first opportunity he could have with a tipsy but happy fun-loving girl. Most certainly not, if he already had three girlfriends able to do just fine without Sophia.

I had also made no progress whatsoever in figuring out why he probably had three girlfriends at the same time. He was twice their age, but age difference isn’t a real hurdle if you love someone. And if it wasn’t for his superman-like sex skills, why would they love him so much? It wasn’t as if he was behaving like the most gentle man in the world. On the contrary. The man had rude manners to say the least, talking to us like incompetent children, as if competent but still giggling girls would be so much higher in his list of valuable assets. Though she had to admit, he was very tuned to his girlfriends, wordless understanding a single look by each of them, his gentleness towards them, and most of all the reason he was looking at them so angry, not because of them, but because of the villagers. He promised to teach us to be free and independent, to be protected at all times under his watch. And a promise made by him, must be a promise kept.

I also had him seen giving warmth to people, to Clara in an intensity I had never seen before in my life. It still stung a bit that it wasn’t meant for me, but then again, I didn’t want to be seen anymore as someone needing vengeance or protection. I was now able to hunt in this upside down world and had jumped the ladder from bottom to top in being the most independent people in this new world. The problem was that I still needed protection, care or love. It was a knife with two edges: I could be free and independent or I could lean on having protection. Not both. Never both. If it was one thing I had learnt in my life, I could be as free as I ever wanted, being cared for was another thing. And vice versa. It was the eternal, internal fight between wanting to be in the nunnery or to be in a foster family. No man or woman in her life had ever given her both, unconditionally. I had to be realistic: there most probably wasn’t such a person in the world.

She sighed. Still no end in sight of this cursed night watch. Mia was with her, contributing her fair share of being useful to the little squad. Perhaps she was as smart as me, but it was difficult to figure out her real motivations. She just observed, told sometimes what was happening between people, but didn’t bother to explain why she did stuff, or more importantly why she didn’t. Like talking for example. She had found a stack of fantasy books in plundering the house. Books that weren’t infected by the big bad fat fuck’s endless need for depravity. Probable they were given to him, although why anyone would give something to that fucker was beyond her comprehension. But Mia took them out of the house and read the books with great appetite. Books in German, English, French, she read them all. Sure, I had read a lot of books in my past life, but it was more to learn everything she could about the world. Sad thing was, she had never opened a book about how to cook your own food in the wilderness. Ethics, philosophy, mathematics, geography, German and English, anatomy of course, the biology of the human body, economics, psychology, she had read them all and more. I wasn’t sure if any of it was going to be useful now, certainly she would have dropped economics if she had known the world would end. But she hadn’t, more the pity.

Odd... I thought I heard...

Nah... probably hearing voices from the party. She had her back to the fire, one of the lessons she had remembered from Kylie and Kate. A good guard sees, but wasn’t seen. Well, there wasn’t anything to see in this endless night. She so wanted to get to bed and sleep. She would do anything for the person releasing her from this ‘contribution’.

Speak of the devil... Is that Lina running fast towards me? I was still hearing voices at the party, a bad imitation of the commander perhaps. So Lina must be here to tell us that unfortunately they wouldn’t be able to take over the watch due to overconsumption of ****.

“Come, Ella, you need to come with me to the fire, to the commander.” Lina whispered to me, panting out of breath from the sprint she just had made.

Wait... what? The commander is here? But I didn’t even see him... Lina dragged Mia and me with her, to run a little bit faster. It was as if she was scared to her bones if she didn’t return fast enough to the fire. Another mission perhaps? Oh God, no... I want to sleep! Anything for anyone who demands me to go to bed... Please...

It was surreal, what was happening at the fire. Emma, Clara and Sophia standing in a row, chests up, standing frozen stiff, facing the commander. He seemed in a very angry mood. They were not dressed in the clothes they had chosen for the party. They had changed into full battle gear.

Oh no... Not another mission... Please... The first one who says I can go to bed gets everything from me: my soul, my brain, my eternal gratitude, my obedience to the pits of hell, even my body if one chooses so... It’s a promise made...

The commander looked at Mia and me. With a frown less fierce than the one he apparently had reserved for the other recruits.

“You two go to bed. Sleep and make sure you are fully rested for the day to come.”

A promise made must be a promise kept... Damn you, Aristoteles.