Not so easy.

Diary – Alex – day 2 of Dark Ages - Whatever conversation they had while I was feeling that utter bliss, I have forgotten about it. I remember hearing voices, but they went way too fast to understand all their reasoning. But the women were not happy. Not happy at all how I had built up my stress levels so much so fast, and so quickly channeled into sex.

I don’t quite understand myself for that matter. But they said something about the need for loving, sex or doing something else. If I couldn’t love or do something else, they predicted I would feel the need for sex a lot more, being stuck in lock-down with them. Which was actually quite a good logic explanation for it.

But as I mentioned above, they were far from happy. Kylie thought I was going into cardiac arrest. Me getting a bit older... Okay, I can understand. Sophia was worried sick, but had to make sure Kylie was okay. And though Kara said she didn’t, Sophia insisted she was frozen by the shock of seeing me collapsing. Kate felt fine by the way. A bit exhausted, but very, very happy it had happened. But seeing the others afterwards, she said she felt for the other women, being so worried about me.

But no... Kylie had her narrowed eyes fixed upon me, Kara was frowning heavily at me, and Sophia looked extremely sad. Simply said, it wasn’t going to happen again. Not anytime soon. From now on, I had to release myself a bit more measured. And with measured I mean, whenever I felt stress transforming into getting a stiff one. They predicted it would happen perhaps a few times a day. And when it happened I had to simply ask them. Like I did yesterday. Perhaps the stiff one would disappear on its own without ejaculation, but they assured me I would feel a lot better nonetheless, after they had helped me with it.

Sophia asked for her ‘first time together’ to be pushed to a later date. We will still have our romantic ‘date’ but she would help me if needed. And I had seen her naked before, she added, so she didn’t see the point of a blanket anymore, after I was... well so naked yesterday.

The other girls were quite unhappy with it too, as it had leaked out that I had collapsed after a certain kind of stress release. Ambra was apparently worried sick about me, and had to be assured extra by Ella, that this would not happen again. I promised her it wouldn’t. – End entry.

Oh God... this is not going to be easy...

Being cramped up with ten people in fifty square meters is hard enough on its own. Add to that the daily routines and a lot of situations can be created to get you...

Hot.

It had started in the morning. Everyone had her turn in the hygienic room. We had a steady supply of filtered water through various ways, giving each a chance to wash up. The problem was that I was the only man, and nine women were forming a line to the small alcove. Nine women or girls in various stages of being undressed. No, eight, as the youngest was the first always, leaving before the adults would form a line. So eight adult young women and one man in a row, waiting for their turn in the ‘shower’. After the short, cold shower I knew I would have no problem of having an erection, the cold would take care of that. I had asked that each at least would wear a towel, but as I saw, it didn’t help in the least. I could see each of the women’s legs. Some had for some reason a towel too short, and I would get glimpses of their asses.

Fuck... I am a creep... Avert your eyes... Quickly...

Whenever I was caught watching, or involuntarily reacting on movements to and from the alcove, the women simply smiled at me, not minding in the least. I could understand why my four girlfriends had no problems with it, but the other four women / girls were a different story. Even though I knew they were developing feelings for me, and I knew they knew I knew, I simply couldn’t let go of the principle not to invoke feelings of being creeped at by a man twice their age. Even as a man with four girlfriends, being twice their age.

Was it because my girlfriends were somewhat stressed after I fucked up, literally and figuratively, that they didn’t bother to hide their asses, I had no idea.

I gulped when I saw Kylie’s ass, before me in the row. An ass that I had fucked. As she had wanted to be fucked. As we both so enjoyed at the time.

Fuck... This is not going to be easy at all.

I saw Clara return from her shower, passing me in the narrow hallway. She still had wet hair, her towel was bound around her petite breasts, but the towel was far from heavy. It was like a large cotton cloth almost hugging her breasts. Bound tight around her upper torso. Nipples cold from the shower were pressing outwards, revealing visible tiny mounds covered by her towel.

Fuck... I am a creep.

But she smiled sweetly at me, and just passed me. Clara was the one with the most willful mind I knew. She wouldn’t make the same mistake as she had done before, but she wouldn’t make it easy either. Ella passed. Small of stature, but wise. Beautiful legs, stunning face, long blond hair. But oh so young. I had no idea why she was loved me so much, and I loved her too, but not for her body. She was smart, could explain difficult things into simple analogies. But I noticed for the first time her beautiful ass she had as she frisked to her chamber, her towel jumping up and down, seemingly happy after her morning shower.

Who the hell designed this hallway in the first place? Seeing each other’s asses if they go one way, seeing each other’s breasts if they go the other way... Oh... Wait... I did.

Kara passed. Barely covered up at all. Well, she was, but her towel was so short she left barely any imagination. Her vagina was visibly wet from the shower. Emma’s stunning ass flashed through my mind. The problem would surely be in the morning. It’s always problematic for me in the morning. That morning wood would kill me for sure.

Emma’s ass, Kara’s glistening pussy, smiling both so happy.

Fuck... I couldn’t stand it anymore. My bulge was accidently bumping up to Kylie’s ass in front of me. The ass I had fucked. The promise I had made Emma.

Emma’s ass... Kylie’s ass... Kara’s wish for anal sex.

Fuck...

I lost it then and there. I turned around, bumped against Sophia’s bosom. I gulped, made my apologies, and calmly stepped into my room, asking Kara:

“Kara? I think I may need your assistance.”

Ass-isstance... Good one, Alex, though an old one.

Kara looked at me, up and down, and saw my visible bulge.

“Ah...” She smiled at me. “And how can I be of assistance?”

“Eh... mornings will be difficult for me... it might take a while... perhaps I can... fulfill your wishes too?”

“Aah... Now, that is an interesting idea. Lucky for you I am all washed up, and I have some oil here.”

I couldn’t believe it would be so easy to ask Kara for anal sex. I had thought she would say she would rather wait and give me a blowjob instead. My eyes went up in full surprise.

“Oh, you didn’t think I would comply with the first fantasy that popped into your addled brain?”

“Too be honest, I don’t know what came over me, asking you this so casually.”

“Don’t worry, Alex. I’ve had anal sex before, painfully, I admit, but with you, I am sure it will feel a lot better. I have been preparing for an occasion like this.”

“Is it that simple? This week... I just ask and I shall be given?”

She frowned at me. “Alex, we all agreed we didn’t want a repeat from yesterday. We predicted you would feel like this. We told you, we would help you get through this week. You only have to ask. Not build it up. And why would I refuse the love of my life the one thing I have been wanting to do myself for quite some time now?”

Her frown had its result. It reminded me Kylie’s look. And back to the promise I made. To Ella. To Ella’s ass. All the way up to the reason I was here.

But still. It didn’t feel right. Even with my erection, with my addled brain as Kara so aptly described, it felt so...

Artificial. And it felt like I was given a blank cheque. I thought I would never need one, but it seemed I did need one. But did I want one, was the remaining question.

My thoughts returned to my first memories about the war just after the war had started. Like most or the other inhabitants of the EU I had followed the news, the horror I felt, when I learned the Russians were **** left and right. A man may be married, with children and a dog, respectable towards his fellow citizens. But when left loose in the world, in a war, without laws or boundaries, without any consequences, stressed and horny all the time, he might just go for it. And slower than others perhaps, but very fast nonetheless he will turn into such a rabid animal, that the man should have been euthanized before he even got married.

Was I turning into one of those men, I so repulsed? The thought crossed my mind, but didn’t leave me. Sure there were significant differences. Kara was my girlfriend. That fact was well established in my mind. Second, I had to ask. Well, like everyone should ask. But since I would be given, the asking was a formality, almost. But a necessary one for me. Otherwise I knew, I wouldn’t be able to act. Even yesterday, I asked. And then I was so incredibly in heat, but still I asked for permission to engage. Like everyone should do. Third, I couldn’t hurt them.

Ah... perhaps that was the real problem. Even with a girlfriend, with a blank permission, I still felt like it would hurt them. They assured me multiple times I wouldn’t hurt them, they even encouraged it, insisted on it, but...

It still felt like it. I couldn’t be sure of its cause. But I felt like I would.

What I also felt then, was my cock wilting.

“Fuck...” I heard Kara whispering.

“Eh... I am sorry, Kara, but it seems... eh... that after all...”

“I know, I can see.” Kara replied, with some frustration in her voice.

“I’m sorry, Kara, I shouldn’t have asked in the first place, even if I knew you wanted me to, you wanted me to have anal sex with you, but this... I feel like it is... I feel like...”

It was the strangest thing. The lust I was building up, thinking about anal with Kara, **** my cock to go up. But the immediate thought after it, feeling like I would hurt her in the process, **** my cock down. Leaving my cock in permanent suspense between the two phases. Too erected to not feel aroused, too flaccid to do anything useful with it. I was, it was, floating between lust and empathy.

Like a submarine with blood instead of air, that couldn’t decide between going above water, or sinking deep into the peaceful depths of the ocean...

In the good old days before the war, I would simply give it a wank, using some porn sites, but now? Here? And even back then I wasn’t even assured the means would always work. The produced porn made me think of the effects on the women that had produced it in the first place. I had then desperately searched for emotions on their faces. Seeking the falsehoods in their expressions. Finding them. And leaving me unable to get rid of the phase-in-between. Only when I was really pent-up, my mind could jump over the hurdle. But I would feel guilty afterwards. And that was porn. On a screen. It never really felt real, it only felt artificial. And before me stood a very real person, I loved very much. Incredibly attractive, yet, so easy to feel empathy with.

No wonder the floating up and down was so evident. Seeing Kara in the flesh. Seeing only Kara. Barely a minute between phases. My cock never had the chance to go to one **** of getting completely down or up. And the artificiality of the act I was about to start, was not going to help at all. It would only reinforce the feeling of falsehood in my mind.

I sighed heavily.

This wasn’t going to be easy at all.

“Look, Kara, I am real sorry for this. Leaving you here. But eh...”

Perhaps it was time to just evade the whole matter. Wait for a better moment. A more lustful moment.

“Perhaps it is for the best I just leave the matter alone for a bit. It seems this is not going be so easy after all. I’ll have a nap or something.”

I felt bad. I felt not guilty. I felt good. I felt aroused. I felt bad. The constant loop in my confused mind exhausted me. I was getting tired and frustrated at the same time. And then more tired. More frustrated. And so on... It was getting a clusterfuck in my brain. But in the end the exhaustion won.

I took a nap for a few hours. To awake fully fresh... With another morning wood. The frustration must have evaded the exhaustion, and had clearly opted for a display in my dreams. Ending my nap with...

Fuck...