Dig. Deep.

Dig deep, Alex, these women deserve to feel safe... More than anyone else...Don’t stop, just dig.

Deeper into the hill. They will have their own place, both exits guarded by the two section caves. In the middle of the very crooked tunnel connecting them both.

Dig, Alex, to make up for the time.

The time they have spent in despair, agony, cruelty. Kidnapped from their homes, four from the villages around, a fifth from far away, bought as a commodity.

A larger room. Enough room to not feel cramped. Perhaps it was a bad idea, after they were locked up in a cellar, to be harbored underground with no windows.

No, Alex, don’t doubt, dig.

They had felt safe with the women the first night. A bit close to the women, but protected and warm. Comfortable. The third room would need ventilation. Or the crooked tunnel would need ventilation. The others were busy with that now, they had left me alone to...

Dig. Dig more, Alex.

They were in shock. They didn’t talk, except cry. They barely ate. They barely slept. I had no hope they would recover from it. How could they? Who could? They agreed to stay with us for a while. To stay hidden. Kylie explained to them they weren’t safe yet. The Russians would come eventually, not as soldiers, but as... whatever those men were.

Dig.

Perhaps it was cruel to tell them about the Russians and their... bad habits. But Kylie told them we would train them. Train them in our ways. Fast and fully committed. To their continued safety and protection. Perhaps one day they would be really ready to be home. Feel safe enough at home and live once again alone. Or together, in one home. Safe and able to protect themselves, each other and whosever’s partner returned.

Dig.

That first day and the following second day I kept my distance. Instinctively I knew I would be just a man. A frowning man. A man giving orders to women. I didn’t want to be that man to them, not then. Not ever.

Dig.

At least the four women had a place to return to if they so wished. But not the fifth. She was kidnapped long ago, as a teenager, we heard the other women tell. She kept to herself. She didn’t talk. Barely ate, ate fast, as if we would take the food away at any moment. Drank thirstily, but after tasting it. Always. I had to carry her away from the villa, she could barely walk that day, let alone run. She can walk, or run. But not that day. It was as if she didn’t want to leave the house of horrors. And now she can’t be far enough. Looked scared whenever talked to. Whenever touched. My frown left my face the next day when I saw her, huddled in blanket, scared to even say a word, scared to look at us, scared of everyone, everything,...

Dig.

My face was of constant sorrow now. Guilt and sorrow. But mostly sorrow. I couldn’t help it. Utter exhaustion fell upon me. I fell down against the wall. Reinforced, with sand bags, wooden poles, a wooden roof, with meters of earth above it. Air filled the room. Fresh air. I could breathe easily. Candles were placed in the corners. Decorated with warmly colored hangings.

Dig deeper, Alex, you will need to find the strength. These women deserve it.

The four women realized I was in command. But whenever I talked to them, with my sad look on my face, they weren’t intimidated. They didn’t shrink back. I kept my voice steady, or I tried to. The fifth shook off her blankets, and tentatively started following me with her eyes. I felt them. I looked back at first, but she lowered her head quickly. I didn’t look back after that. But I felt her eyes always at my back. Or sideways, when she glanced.

Dig deeper, Alex.

Her name was Ambra. I knew it to be a typical Albanian name. She was twenty, but looked younger and older at the same time. Her eyes were a lot older. Her body was malnourished. Her arms were too slender. Her legs too skinny. But she had strength. She had to have had strength to survive what she had been through.

Dig deeper, Alex.

The four told Kate she was present at times when the men were... whatever they wanted them to do. She would without hesitation do whatever they asked from her. However degrading or humiliating. And then the men would tell them they would end up just like her. A puppet. To command.

Dig deeper, Alex.

The women hadn’t been as long as Ambra in captivity, not for years like Ambra had, but it had been enough. More than enough. Still, the women had enough pity left in them for Ambra. Who had been there from the first moment they arrived. At first, in their captivity, it was difficult to find out more about her, but she talked in the end. As if she thought, it was the last time she had the opportunity to talk to someone else. She barely reacted that a war was going on. She didn’t know, but she didn’t care when she knew. She had given up a long time ago to care for her past or present life. She had been kidnapped from the streets when she was a minor by the Albanian Mafia, transported to the two men who wanted to indulge their depraved lusts. And the two men had trained her. Made her obey. Made her into an unwilling ****, seemingly no resistance left in her.

Deeper, Alex.

She started following me, from a distance. Always keeping a distance. I saw, but acted as no one was following me. I just was doing the usual stuff around the camp. Ella noticed, well, everyone noticed, but Ella approached her. Ambra understood German well enough. And with all the German I was hearing these days I was starting to regain that knowledge. Ella approached her carefully. Not saying a word at first. Careful not to touch her at all, at first. Sitting or walking next to her. Giving her food. Giving her water. She wasn’t ready to endure combat training. Her body was way too weak for it. Her mind may have been up for it, though very doubtful, but that was a question that would need an answer in a few weeks. Or sooner.

Deeper, Alex.

It was the small notions of affection that the four, perhaps, the five women made them realize I was in a relationship with three women at the same time. We couldn’t hide it. I barely wanted to during their minimal training of shooting, hunting and cooking or making camp. They would return home, the four decided. And stay together. In one house. Move between houses. Reinforce them. Supply all of theirs. They didn’t belong in the forests. Even after four days of intensive training, they didn’t feel safe in it, like we did. They would return if needed. They were given arms out of our reserve supplies we had stolen long time ago.

Deeper, Alex.

The fifth one was asked by the four to come along with them, but she refused. She wanted to stay in the forest. Why she opted to stay I had no idea. Perhaps the women themselves were an association to bad times? The forest was open and felt safe or free? The large cave chambers was hers alone, but still she would creep in one of the corners furthest away from the opening. She could hear us talk, walk through the open tunnel.

Deeper, Alex.

Ambra started talking one-word syllables to Ella. Yes, No or More. More food, more water. Sleep, Walk, Food. She kept following me, at closer distances. I didn’t know what to make of it. Surely the women were a much safer association to connect with? I asked advice from Kylie.

“She is like a child, Alex. A teenager perhaps. She was kidnapped being a teenager, and her emotional growth has been halted. Even regressed. To survive. You were the one carrying her out of the house. You are the one man she has ever seen in a long time that would not try to hurt her. You are incredible careful with her. She also sees us with you. She sees a lot, Alex. She sees that you are in a relation with us. You don’t treat us like animals, on the contrary, you listen to us, you respect us, you love us. She sees us reacting to your affections, she sees us smiling. She then started to follow you from a distance to know what you were doing. Doing nothing but walking around, looking around. Cooking and everything else the others do too. Looking at us, training the abused women, not nearing them on your own, not speaking to them, unless spoken to. She has made up her mind about you. She trusts you with an intensity like never before in her life. But it is brittle, and if you betray that trust, it can’t be repaired. And she will remain broken.”

“Like a lost maltreated puppy then.”

“A crude comparison, but yes. Seeing hope for the first time. She will cling to you, and when she understands more of the world around her, grow very attached to you.”

“Hope? Can she even recover?”

“Yes, of course I have hope. Because I know you will never hurt her. Just like you will never hurt us. I’ve seen the look in your eyes, Alex, you have made a promise to her, just like the one you made to the mother of Kate and her brother. You will protect her, whatever the cost.”

“Perhaps I did. But it feels like a giant responsibility.”

“Time will come, it will get easier, when she starts talking. To you or to us. And by the way, you are not alone in your promise to her. We all made it. When we saw how you acted towards her, that first look into your eyes, that sad but determined look, it was at that moment we all made the same promise.”

Deep enough, Alex.