Storming the Club

“Oi, watchya dooin ‘ere?!” demanded an alien goon. You and Tanna had flown halfway up the side of a gigantic building that Tanna had informed you was the one you are storming. Then, upon landing on a small speeder platform, you were accosted by a trio of goons who had been playing cards near the door.

“We’re here to end your slavery buisness once and for all!” Tanna exclaimed to the three alien guards. Hearing this, the guards immediately burst out laughing and you couldn’t help but chuckle along with them.

“Sorry, did yoo jus’ say youz waz ‘ere to join our slavery business?” The lead goon asked between laughs.

“No, we are here to end it,” you corrected, whipping out your Lematt blaster and firing three times in quick succession. The goons were so busy laughing they had no time to react. Instead, they gave out strangled cries of pain and slumped to the floor.

“Really?” you ask, turning to your blue companion. “Are you really just gonna announce our presence like that?” you ask.

“What? We are here to end their slavery business,” Tanna defended.

“True, but now THEY know that too . . . and I think there might be one or two more of them than there are of US!” You reply, placing one hand on your hip as you glare at Tanna. “Oh well, I wanted some entertainment . . . we’re about to have a lot of it,” you mutter before turning to face the door.

“Odds are, they noticed the blaster shots,” you muse as you look up at the gigantic tower. Tanna informed you that the building doubled as a warehouse but why you’d build a warehouse vertically is beyond you. “Either that, or they noticed the speeder,” you continue as you spot the control panel for the door. “Get that door open,” you order as you turn around and pull a new toy out of the speeder you came in.

On your way to the club/warehouse Tanna wanted you to attack, you had stopped by your ship so you could spawn something that would be better for assaulting. A ‘repeating blaster carbine’ in the form of an Australian F1 submachine gun. With a laser reflex sight where the magazine well ought to be and an additional foregrip so you wouldn’t have to hold onto the barrel in case it got hot.

“I don’t see why you can’t do this yourself,” Tanna groused as she marched over to the door while you took cover behind your speeder. “It’s not even locked!” she exclaimed as she hit a button on the control panel. Right as you take aim at the door, it slid open and revealed a small squad of assorted goons. They had just enough time to realise the door opened for them before you squeezed the trigger and began spitting blaster bolts at 500 rounds per minute. Remarkably similar to a grease gun, you note, and with a satisfying staccato bark.

“W-what sector defense **** are you from?” Tanna asks as the last goon falls. You merely grin in response as you get up from your cover and make your way inside.

^_^

You bop your head and hum to some surprisingly catchy elevator music as you and Tanna ride a lift to the floor that she thinks the slaves are being kept at. Naturally, of course, the building’s security has already been alerted to your presence so when the lift stops and the doors open, you come face to face with a largish squad of goons.

You look at them, and their assorted blasters in their hands or on their shoulders. They look at you, you both blink a few times, and then you reach behind your back and spawn a frag grenade. You bring the pineapple of doom in front of you, pull the pin and then hold it out for the lead goon to take. Apparently still shocked at your sudden appearance, and now very confused, the goon takes the pineapple of doom from you with a frown.

You watch the safety fall away and begin frantically hitting the button for the next floor down. The goon’s eyes widen in horror as he realises just what you handed him and you give him a strained smile while silently begging the elevator to get on with it.

The doors shut and the elevator begins moving down just in time for a muffled ‘boom’ to shake the lift like a maraca, causing you and Tanna to fall into a heap on the lift’s floor. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, hit the button for the floor you actually wanted and get back to bopping your head to the beat of the elevator music for a moment.

When the doors open again onto the floor you wanted to be on, you take one look at the scene before you and your face scrunches up in disgust.

“Ewwwww,” you groan as you see the results of your pineapple of doom. Unlike video games, the goons did not ragdoll all over the place. “Rest in pieces,” you mutter under your breath as you gingerly begin to navigate the gore filled corridor. “Not on the shoes, not on the shoes” you mutter, trying desperately to not get blood on your shoes. Tanna, meanwhile, is just shocked into horrified silence. You take a look back at one point and see her expression. Her mouth was open, her eyes were wide and her gaze was vacant as she followed you like an automaton.

^_^

“I still think vertical warehouses are stupid,” you say as both you and Tanna stare up into a vertical warehouse. On either side of the building were large openings where industrial droids flew in and deposited or collected semi-trailer sized shipping containers. These containers were stacked on shelving units that went up by dozens of meters. “And why isn’t this all sequestered into an industrial sector or something? Doesn’t Coruscant have an industrial sector for this sort of thing?” you ask.

“Uhh, nobody goes there . . . the old factories produce toxic gasses, there’s malfunctioning and reprogramed security droids running rampant . . .” Tanna replied as she too looked around the room you found yourself in. “Anyway, the dancers should be here,” she told you. “Probably in one of these crates . . .” she added.

“Let’s find the office then!” You state cheerfully, fully intent on not searching every single shipping container in the off chance they hadn’t been moved yet. “See if we can’t grab the manifest” you add.

“What?! You think they are going to keep records of their **** dealings?!” Tanna snapped at you.

“If the feds were ever going to audit them, we wouldn’t be here doing vigilantism,” You reply. “So yes, they probably have records,” you add.

“There they are! Blast ‘em!” shouted a voice from behind you.

“As well as additional security forces,” you comment, twisting around to face a mob of goons charging up the corridor behind you. You then squeeze off a burst into the door’s control panel. Thankfully, the door decided that it would shut now that it’s controls were fried.

“Come on! We need to find that office!” you exclaim before charging off at a jog towards the far end of the warehouse.

“Kriff I hope it isn’t above us, the lifts are back the way we came!” Tanna groaned as she caught up with you. Fortunately, however, you both saw the door in the wall at the same time and picked up the pace into a full sprint.

The two of you skidded to a halt just before hitting the wall and Tanna hit the button to open the door.

“Get the manifest off that computer!” You order as you sight a star warsy computer with a chair in front of it.

“The data terminal?” Tanna asked redundantly, looking at you in confusion. A blaster bolt then struck the wall and you twisted around to see a stream of goons pouring in through the open door. Your eyes whipped to Tanna as she pulled out her own blaster and returned fire.

“THE COMPUTER!!!” You all but scream. Tanna flinched hard and you angrily jab your finger at the computer. Tanna took a hot second to get her bearings before putting her gun away and ducking into the office. With that, you took a knee in the doorway and began firing back in short controlled bursts at the stream of goons while planning an exit strategy. You then remembered that you now have god powers and can Deus ex Machina your way out of this.

“Got it!” Tanna told you as she came back holding some sort of small floppy disc. “We missed the girls but I know where they are headed!” she told you excitedly.

“Good, and I think I have our exit sorted” you reply as a flatbed speeder truck the size of a ute flew in through one of the cargo ports in the side of the building. You snipe the driver and the thing plummeted out the sky and landed on a cushion of air right in front of you. “Can you drive that thing?” You ask as you fire another burst to keep the goons at bay.

“Sure” Tanna replied and the two of you hopped into the cab and peeled off into the sky.

“I’m concerned about the lack of doors on this thing,” you begin. “But that was fun,” you say, slumping into your seat as the adrenalin rush begins to fade away. “Now I could go for some hot kinky sex with a hot sexy Twi’lek” you say, batting your eyelashes at Tanna. The girl looked at you, blushed and snapped her head back to the front.

“I-I’m driving” she stammered.

“I didn’t hear a no,” you say huskily, sliding a hand up her thigh and over her crotch.