Wow…. He’s really let himself go

A skeleton guard wandered through Ganondorf’s Inner Tower held within the castles walls, as he enter his study to see him asleep on a table with a bunch of paper everywhere with words on them…

“Um… sir?”

“Huh…. Ahhh Who’s there, I’ll Hang your body on a….. oh it’s just you… Phil!”

“Yeah…. What the hell are you doing?”

“Simple…. I’m writing about the time I was adopted into an all women society and how I changed Hyrule for the better!”

“Umm…. Well… that’s nice but…. We’ve got a problem!”

“Oh yeah what’s that?”

“I’ve just received word that someone killed your body double!”

“What…. You mean Jared…. Ohh well… he was only a 1 dimensional stunt double anyway…”

“You’ve really let yourself go, haven’t you!”

“Well…. Conquering Hyrule without any opposition from anyone is getting rather boring…. Just look at that Zelda bitch…. She ran away like a fucking coward along with that body guard of hers…. What was her name I never bothered to remember again?”

“Impa?”

“Um… yeah sure…. Anyways, I have not let myself go….. I’ll have you know that during my literature pursuits, I managed to make my greatest creation yet….!!”

“Oh… um…. Okay, you’ve got me curious now…. What is this greatest creation of yours?”

“Endings!!”

“………what?”

“The concept is simple….. ahem…. Have you ever seen a book story that just goes on and on with ideas that may or may not go somewhere with no end in sight…… But with endings…. They can wrap stories like a nice package…. Or just put a big cliffhanger and have it never resolve itself ever!”

“Okay….. I’ve got a lot of questions right now….. first, how exactly is that evil….. I mean this just seems like it’s going to make people want more stories from you….”

“Of course people are going to want more….. as long as people are stupid enough to have the same shit spoon fed to them again, then I can feed myself with the same shit they keep giving me…..!”

“Can’t we please…. Focus on the other topic right now!”

“Fine…. But don’t expect me to listen!”

“Look…… Somebody’s taken down your doppelgänger in the Forest Temple…. However did that…. Must be coming after the next one at **** Mountain….”

“Okay….. so what?”

“So what…. It means we’re going to lose our standing in the kingdom!”

“No I mean…. We don’t have to worry…. We have a dragon and the fact that the next place is called **** Mountain means this person will die easily!!”

“Okay…. Fine….. but we should still be cautious right now!”

“Fine…. Now leave me…. I have to write a cliffhanger for my book so that I can end it super early and never resolve anything..…!” Said Ganondorf as he picked up a quill from his ink bottle….

1.) Lily meets up with Sheik at **** Mountain…

2.) Lily finds the whole of Goron City only has…. One Goron in it named Link…