Clara's Decision

"You want me to what?" Clara asked.

It was later, and she was sitting at the table along with Alex and Lilly. She was naked except for her collar, but after a full week of nudity, that didn't seem such a big thing anymore. Instead, she was focusing on what she had just been told. Or rather, asked about.

"It's the final day of the week," Alex explained slowly. "I know you said you'd do anything that I wanted. But this is...well, more than what I could decide alone. I'm not really your master, after all. That's just a game we like to play. But this is more important than that. If you want to do it, I am all for it. But I want you to understand that I am not telling you to do it, okay? it's down to you."

"Mhm." Clara looked down at the tea in the cup at her side. Steam rolled from it, and she swirled it back and forth in a mindless gesture to buy a few moments to gather her thoughts.

"What about you, Lilly?" She could feel the blush creeping across her face even as she tried to **** it back. Alex was right. This was much bigger than anything they had done before. She probably should have rejected it out of hand. If it had been proposed at the start of the week, she probably would have. But they had come so far, and done so many things. She didn't really want it to end, and she felt like a very different person now. It was strange how seven days could change you. Show you what you really wanted.

"What about me?" Lilly asked. "Do you mean what do I think about it?"

"Y-Yeah..." Clara inclined her head. "I'm pretty sure that Alex couldn't set this up on his own. I want to know if you've done this sort of thing before."

"Hmm." For once, Lilly didn't make some joke or light comment. Instead, she drew her face into a serious expression. "A few times. Not as many as you're probably thinking. It was Alex's idea, but I had the contacts. The people there... I do trust them. You can count on that much."

"You don't have to do it," Alex said again. "We can just spend the day here together, or think of something else. But..."

"You thought I might enjoy it."

Alex nodded.

"After your fantasies, and given what else you've told me over the week. A lot of the things that turn you on depend on being watched, used and...well, degraded."

Clara said nothing, though she felt a flash of heat striking through her body. She felt bubbling humiliation rising up inside of her. Somehow, this was a lot more awkward than any other conversation she'd had with her boyfriend up until now. She couldn't believe that she was even considering what he had offered to her. Yet, Alex was right. Part of her felt a strong sense of attraction to what he had put on the table. It was yet another barrier she had never crossed. Something that she had seen sometimes when she'd watched porn, touched herself to. Even climaxed to late at night in her room. But never in a thousand years had she thought she'd ever be able to go through with it.

"This is how it is going to work," Lilly said. "If you're up for it. I have some friends who have the same sort of interests as I do. Sometimes, they get together to have parties of a certain kind... which is to say that slaves are shown off and humiliated. Some people really get off to it. Alex asked me if there was one coming up, but there wasn't. Luckily, I am able to throw one together. It's a small one. Only a few people. But I feel like maybe that's for the best. Everyone is trusted, but I know it's a massive leap for you."

"So, i-if I did agree-" Clara's breath hitched in her throat as she spoke "-we'd go to the party, and I'd be taken on stage and made to perform for people? Strangers?"

"That's right," Lilly said. "Alex would be there, of course. He'd be the one leading things. Setting the task and keeping everything under control. But there would be total strangers - men and women - who would see everything that you did. It would be humiliating, and you would definitely be made to climax in front of everyone. There may even be other slaves who performed with you."

Clara said nothing. Her body felt hot, and her pulse beat in her ears. The world swam around her as she struggled for focus. Her mouth was dry, and images of what she could be asked to do danced in her head. She was nervous. Tense. Who wouldn't be in this sort of situation? But she didn't refuse out of hand either. She looked first from Lilly and then to Alex. Her heart was beating fast. Even she didn't know what she was going to say.

"Alex, you'd be there, right? You wouldn't leave or anything?"

"Not even for a moment," Alex said. "If you didn't want to continue at any point, we'd give you a phrase you could use and it would all end instantly. No judgement and no pressure."

"That's absolutely right," Lilly said. "We're very keen on that. Very important rule. There's a difference between pretend and real, and we have to respect that. Safe words are required, and you'll probably hear about it endlessly before you go on stage. If you decide to go at all, that is."

"Right," Clara said. Her voice was unsure, shaky. That annoyed her so she said it again more firmly.

"Right. Okay. Well, I am not totally sure what to say, or whether I should do it or not..."

"Take some time," Alex told her. "Think it over. There's hours and hours before it is supposed to happen, and we can cancel at any time. You can decide for yourself."

"I think I'll do that," Clara said. She felt a little light headed as she pushed herself to her feet. Alex did not try to follow her as she made her way through the house, towards the bedroom that they had shared the previous night. As the door closed behind her, she breathed a sigh of relief.

Holy fuck. What was she going to do now? It wasn't that she wasn't tempted. She absolutely was. But it was far beyond anything else that they had ever done. It was a big leap, and the idea of it made her stomach churn.

She turned, catching sight of herself in the full length mirror on the far wall. The naked woman who looked back at her was a far sight from the girl who had been when she had started this week. Clara stalked forwards, eyeing up her own body. The curve of her hips, the tilt of her chest. She felt a flash of heat in her face when her eyes caught sight of her womanhood, aroused by the thought of what had been proposed. Her fingers caressed it, running up and down her slit gently. It felt heavenly, and for a moment she just enjoyed the sensation.

Then she looked at herself in the mirror again. Was she really going to do this? She didn't have to. She didn't know if she was. She'd had all the fun she'd wanted with Alex and Lilly. It didn't have to go further than this if she didn't want it to. She knew neither of them would blame her for it. Just how far did she really want to push her limits? How much was enough? The question troubled her, and it now dawned on Clara that in addition to exploring her boundaries, and doing things she had never done before, there was another aspect of maturity which had not quite struck her until then.

It was knowing when enough was enough. As much as you wanted to push yourself, you also had to keep in mind that there were things you would never want to do, and that this was okay. Each person had limits, boundaries that they didn't want to cross. Part of exploring yourself was finding those boundaries. And once you had, shying away from them was more than acceptable. Not everyone could be into everything, nor did they have to be.

She did not have to do this. She was not expected to do this. it had been offered to her, but if she turned it down, that would be accepted without comment and without judgement.

She felt herself relax a little, the weight lifting from her shoulders as she established this fact for herself.

Okay, so now she was happy that she didn't have to do it. Did she _want _to do it? That was the next question, and one which picked at her even as she tried to answer it. When she considered it, her stomach knotted with anxiety, and her legs turned to jelly. She closed her eyes, imagining if she was on stage, being seen by strangers - people she did not even know! Being made to perform for them, touching herself, or using toys for them. Cumming in front of them.

The thought sent tingles racing through her womanhood. Clara shivered. She couldn't deny that part of her was excited by the idea. After all, hadn't many of her fantasies been based around that? But fantasies were fantasies. You didn't ever expect them to really come true.

Clara realised what she was thinking and chuckled at herself. Hadn't this whole thing started because of a fantasy that she had dared to make come true? For years, she'd imagined what it would be like to become a ****. To be used or abused. To serve someone so totally that she would do anything they told her without question or comment. Degraded and defeated, or joyous at her servitude, it depended on how she was feeling that day. She'd masturbated before, stroked herself to the idea of the collar around her throat, of Alex seeing her naked. She'd climaxed in bed, desire making her legs kick out to the thought of feeling the chains click around her ankles and wrists. Of being bent over, the breath of her master on the back of her neck and the tip of his shaft pressing into her womanhood. The total powerlessness of that situation, the helpless waiting for the inevitable had never failed to make her wet then.

Or now, for that matter. Her eyes flickered down between the legs of her reflection, noting the obvious reaction to her thoughts.

Clara blinked, forcing her mind back to the present. There was only really one question that mattered right now. Did she want to do this? Even knowing that Alex would be with her constantly, and that Lilly would be close at hand, she didn't have an answer right away. She was a contrasting mass of emotions. Confusion, desire, anxiety. But she didn't want to turn it down either. The last time she had pursued one of her fantasies, it had turned out so well for her. Maybe this one would be the same?

She looked at her own reflection in the mirror. Seeing it gaze back at her. So different than the woman she had been when she came here earlier this week yet now on the cusp of the same sort of decision. She'd made herself a **** even though the thought had taken her weeks to work up the courage to do. Now, was she going to make the same sort of call a second time? This time with only hours to prepare?

Slowly, she nodded. She was. She didn't have to do this. She could call it off at any point. But part of it called to her, and she was determined to follow it for at least long enough to know what was offered.

"I'll do it," She said to her mirror reflection. "Just you wait and see."