Doctor Visit (Natalie PoV)

Alexis’ leg was moving a million miles an hour as she bounced on her foot. Her attention was on something outside the window as she chewed on the end of her thumb. Reaching over, I rested my hand against her bouncing leg. It stilled as she looked over at me. I could see the worry and fear there. My smile did little, but I gave it anyway.

“It’ll be fine,” I said softly.

“Y-yeah…” She sounded as convinced as I was. The difference was that I couldn’t show my concern. My role here was the rock she could grab on to. If I fell apart, there was no hope for Alexis to keep herself together. Did it suck having to be strong enough for two people? Yeah. It sucked a lot. But it wasn’t anything new. Part of being an adult was dealing with a world of shit while soldiering on with your life. I tried running away from my problems before and all it had done was create even bigger ones.

The door opened causing us both to look in the direction as an older man stepped inside. He had a kindly smile behind a greying goatee. “Good morning,” he said as he glanced at the chart he was carrying. “Natalie and Alexis Parker?”

“Natalie,” I introduced myself, standing to take his offered hand. “My sister, Alexis.” She didn’t stand but gave him a nod.

“Edward Baker,” he said in introduction. He gestured for me to take a seat and settled into his own on the other side of the small room. Pulling out a pair of reading glasses from his shirt pocket, he put them on and ran his eyes over the chart. After a minute of that, he set it aside and focused on us. “Before I get into the boring data, why don’t you explain to me your problem?” he said as he pulled his glasses off.

I glanced over to Alexis who was still a ball of nerves. I spoke on our behalf. “A few weeks back, we uh…” I struggled for a way to describe what happened. “…We were connected by her Gift. We pushed a bit more than we usually did and since then we have noticed some… changes.”

He shifted in his seat, rapt attention on me. “How so?”

Before I could answer, Alexis found her voice. “My sex drive has taken a big hit.” I felt my jaw clench. Of all the things to be worried about, that was the thing she brought up? I didn’t say anything as she continued. “It’s not gone, but like… different. That and I never was one to really pay attention in school or do housework. Since then, I’ve felt this annoying… pressure? Like, if I don’t study or clean up something it bugs the hell out of me until I go and do it. It’s driving me crazy because I hate it, yet I can’t stop the compulsion to do it.”

The doctor nodded slowly as he listened. His eyes turned to me and I knew it was my turn. “Likewise, I’ve been experiencing something similar. My life has been quite ordered and composed but lately…” I let out a breath. “I’ve been suffering from a lack of motivation lately. Try as I might, I can’t push myself to go through my normal routine. Beyond that…” I cleared my throat, feeling my cheeks heat. Despite my discomfort, I pushed myself to speak. I couldn’t hold back. Not if I wanted this fixed. “I’ve experienced the same shift of sex drive. It’s ramped up in ways I’m not comfortable with and I find myself having urges and desires that I never had before.”

“Interesting,” Edward said as jotted a note down on the paper. “And this only manifested after this connection?”

“That’s right,” I said. Alexis was gnawing on her thumb again so I reached over and took her hand. I smiled as I gave a comforting squeeze.

“For clarity purposes, this wasn’t the first time you have been connected by her Gift, correct?”

“No, we’ve done it before. There was a long period we didn’t use it, but we started using her Gift again a few times before this happened.”

“And what made this particular one so different?”

“It was deeper,” Alexis said. “Or more complete? It’s difficult to describe. Before the connection broke, it was hard to tell the difference between what I was thinking and what she was. Some memories of hers felt like mine.”

He nodded and picked up his chart again. “Deviant Gift’s are always tricky, mostly because they involve novel cases.” He looked at Alexis as he spoke. “Your Gift seems to be an evolved form of the emotional sense Gift many empaths have. From what I was seeing in your file, what sets your Gift apart is the ability to transfer actual thoughts and images in a shared connection that goes both ways. Is this correct?” Alexis nodded. “Very good.” He flipped open the folder he had under the chart. “Now I’ve looked over the results of the tests we took earlier this week and with what you are telling me now, I have a theory. As always, Gift diagnosis involves more theory than concrete data due to the nature of what we are working with.”

Shifting, he pulled out a paper and handed it to me. It was a huge page filled with nothing but dots and squiggly lines that meant nothing to me. Alexis leaned over and I tilted it so she could see it too. “This is the result of your BPE.”

“BPE?” Alexis asked, looking up at the doctor.

“Baseline Psyche Evaluation,” he clarified. “Remember that big helmet you wore and the big buzzing machine you were in? That took your BPE.” Pointing with his pen, he ran it over the top line. “Like a fingerprint, everyone’s is different. In a nutshell, this is a reading of everything that makes you… you. It’s not perfect of course, but a BPE can give a good idea of the general personality of someone. This here suggests someone who is very order oriented in their life. They enjoy routine and have a strong determination to see things through to completion.” He glanced up from the area he was pointing out. “That sound like you?”

“For sure,” Alexis said before I could answer. “Definitely her.”

I frowned at my sister before looking at the doctor. “So what’s the problem?”

With his pen, he circled two areas. “Here and here.”

“What am I looking at?”

“Something that shouldn’t exist.” I felt my throat tighten as I stared at the circled area. “Been in this field for over thirty years and I’ve never seen anything like this.” He pulled out another paper from the folder. It was another BPE scan, this one for Alexis. Even with the glance I managed to get, it looked completely different than the one I was holding. At least, until he circled two areas. The same two areas he circled on mine. They weren’t identical, not exactly. Instead, they were inverted like someone had taken two pictures and pasted them over each other. Mine had the second picture pasted on top of the first while Alexis had the first picture over the second one. It was flipped for the second area.

“I had to send this case to several colleagues to confirm what I was seeing, but I believe we are seeing the first confirmed case of a mental merging.” Alexis’ gasp sounded distant as my heart hammered in my ears. Everything seemed so far away as I stared at the paper unable to look away. His eyes bounced from Alexis to me as he spoke. It was a struggle to follow what he was saying. “It seems that while you were connected via Gift that there was a period of time where your minds merged into one—or at least nearly so.” As he explained, he used his hands to link his fingers together. “While you were able to separate, it seems that the break wasn’t clean. Pieces of your personality remained.” He looked to Alexis. “Your sudden drive to do chores and work along with your shift in sex drive mirrors Natalie’s loss of motivation regarding work and chores and enhanced sex drive.”

“How do we fix it?” I asked as my grip on the paper tightened. There was a pause. It was enough to make me look up. “We can fix it, right?”

“The hope is it will fix itself in time.”

Panic gripped me. “And if it doesn’t?”

“Then we are looking at the possibility that this is a permanent condition. Treatment regarding personality modification is a banned of course, but we can look into Gift therapy as a means to mitigate—”

“Not an option!” I said, crinkling the paper. “This can’t be permanent! I can’t live like this. I can’t.” I froze and looked over at Alexis. She looked horrified, her gaze a million miles away. Fuck. I needed to get a hold of myself. “Hey,” I said softly, reaching over. She flinched at my touch, eyes meeting mine.

“I did this.”

“Alexis…”

“I ruin everything. I’m so sorry, Nat. So… so sorry.” Her hands balled into fists as she looked down at her lap. Tears were forming. “This fucking ‘Gift.’”

The doctor cleared his throat, getting our attention. “If I may?” It took a moment for us to collect ourselves. When I was confident Alexis was listening again, I nodded for him to continue. “If you are concerned about this happening again with your Gift, don’t be. It is the shared consensus that this was only possible because you are related and have overlapping experiences. Those shared experiences in addition to your close relation seemed to have confused your Gift. If I may ask, when you were in that deep connection, were you comparing similar experiences?”

I looked over at Alexis. She had the same look on her face. It was hard not to remember what was happening then. All those memories of guys she’d slept with. All the guys I’d slept with. The enjoyment we had jumping from guy to guy and being shared among many. The bliss of losing yourself in the pleasure of sex. I remembered it clearly, not knowing if the guys I was seeing were the ones I slept with or if it was her. Not caring one way or the other.

I remembered ‘letting’ her experience Tommy making love to me. At the same time, I experienced being shared with two good friends and the enjoyment of some casual fun.

God damn it.

“We were,” I answered for the both of us.

He nodded with the look of a man whose theory was confirmed. “Whatever mechanism your Gift uses, it was probably confused in the separation process by the similar experiences and a copy of each of your personalities was pasted over the original. Which is an important distinction.” He pointed to the non-crumpled BPE. “And a major reason why I am hopeful this is a temporary condition. It is clear that the original is still there. It is also highly likely this is the reason why you know something is wrong instead of accepting these changes without a second thought. Again, this isn’t an override—a much more serious condition—but rather a merge.” He looked to Alexis and took a deep breath. “Now I’m hesitant to suggest it, but it was brought up by several experts in this field and it would be remiss to not at least mention it. There was some who suggested a moderate use of your Gift on a daily basis might coax the affected areas to separate. Naturally, this comes with the warning that you should avoid recreating the events that led to this in the first place. However, I see no reason why light to moderate use would be detrimental to your condition. After all, you had connected numerous times in the past without issue.”

“I’m never going to use my Gift again.”

“Alexis…”

“No way. It’s way too dangerous!”

“I need to stress that, again, this was only possible because Natalie is your sister. Genetics played as much a part of this as your shared experiences and it is perfectly safe to use your Gift on others.”

“How do you know?”

He gave her a kindly smile. “This is an area that I’m rather confident in. It is well documented that Gifts have a genetic component as well. It is how Gifts can differentiate between people. It is also why individuals are all affected by Gifts differently—within reason of course. So I am absolutely confident that your Gift is safe to use on other people. The only reason why this was possible was because you have too many shared experiences with your sister, a condition that is unique only to you.”

We shared a glance. “While it’s not common, what we were sharing wasn’t exactly uncommon,” I said tactfully.

He chuckled. “Perhaps, but I’m not talking about whatever you were doing in the moment. I’m talking about in general. Think of it. You lived together for how many years? You still live together, yes?” We nodded. “You have decades of shared memories. Different perspectives, yes, but overall there should be a lot there. Memories of parents. Experiences of growing up together. The arguments you had with each other. Good times. Bad times. It may not have been on your mind at the time, but it is there.” Again, he was giving Alexis a kindly look. “So please, don’t be afraid to use your Gift. You have a truly unique one and it would be a shame for you to fear it. This is an unfortunate accident and one that I will do all in my power to correct.”

She nodded, but I wasn’t sure if his words were having any effect. I wasn’t sold either. I hated that I was scared of Alexis, but the thought that this was permanent terrified me. My life was impacted by this in a big way. I hated getting hot and bothered whenever a hot guy strolled by. I hated there were so many fucking hot guys roaming around in the first place. Most of all, it was too close to the woman I had been; the party slut looking for a good time with whoever happened to be halfway decent looking. I never wanted to go back to being that person. I hated her because she represented everything I hated being. Weak and cowardly.

“Now,” he said with the gravitas of someone with authority. “What I want to do is schedule you for some BPE readings over the next few weeks to see if there are any changes…”