Differences

I heard her noise the moment she woke, cutting through all the grating noise of our classmates. I’d immediately dismissed myself, the teacher giving me a surprised look as I left. She didn’t stop me and I didn’t give an excuse. Unfortunately, Chloe had made it to the bathroom before I could get to her. She spent a good amount of time there and I saw it all in her noise. Adam’s Gift rapidly disintegrated as her noise shaped itself into the woman I knew. Seeing it caused the weight in my chest to lift.

Chloe was okay. She was going to be okay.

But the pain she felt was real as she realized what had transpired. It was enough that I almost entered the restroom to confront her but I held back. Ambushing her in the bathroom wasn’t the right move here. I needed her to work through some of those thoughts. Once she had made some semblance of peace with them, I would start the healing process. No matter how many times this happened, I would always be here to soothe her wounds and mend them.

She was worth it.

My mind never once faltered in that regard. No matter how she stumbled, how she believed she failed me, Chloe was still the same Chloe I had met. Her actions meant nothing to me because I could see her intentions with perfect clarity. It was all in her noise, constantly showing me the same girl I had come to like.

Resolution filled her noise. Her noise was still not completely back, but it was mending. Leaning against the wall, I waited for her to appear. I didn’t have to wait long. Eyes wide, she froze in the threshold of the bathroom at the sight of me. I could see the fear in her noise as her determination vanished. Her feelings washed over me. Warm feelings were undercut by the chill of her disgust for herself.

“We need to talk.”

Fear spiked through her noise before morphing into resignation. Eyes falling away, she said nothing as she nodded. Without a word, we started walking.

My mind was busy trying to find a solution, but nothing was coming to me. Police? This was beyond their capabilities, which meant they would send out a Special Gifted Unit to investigate. Considering the people and location involved, Federal authorities would undoubtedly hear about it. That meant the Gifted Investigation Agency would likely show up, and no one wanted them getting involved. They usually found a half-dozen other crimes in addition to the one they were investigating and had a reputation for being relentless.

If we got law enforcement involved, it was likely to cause more problems than it solved. It wasn’t just Adam, but his family’s influence. Then there was Chloe herself. If we escalated this, they would find out about her business. Prostitution was illegal, though there was a massive loophole regarding selling the effects of Gifts. Chloe would fall into that loophole, but she was still unlicensed not to mention I had a feeling she wasn’t paying taxes on all the income she was getting. The second the GIA got involved, Chloe would undoubtedly find herself in just as much trouble as Adam.

And Adam knew that. It was mutually assured destruction. Turning him in was the same as turning Chloe in. Not even his family’s influence could protect him from the GIA, but at the same time, Chloe wouldn’t be protected either. Even if it didn’t escalate to that level, prosecuting crimes like this were extremely difficult. I was sure his lawyers would bring up her selling her Gift and how money had been exchanged. They would question her character and muddy the waters.

So law enforcement was out. Administration? Even more useless. They would sooner punish Chloe than rock the boat going after Adam. For a school where reputation was everything, they would do everything in their power to brush it all under the rug. Considering some of the things that happened here, they were quite good at it.

The simplest solution was to quit, but that came with its own problems. I had no idea how her other clients would react to that. It also wasn’t a decision I could make for her.

We walked without a destination. With classes still going on, campus was deserted. We did pass a few campus security people but they steered clear once they recognized who was cutting.

I glanced over at her. “You okay?” A single nod answered. She was fortifying her noise, preparing for what she saw as inevitable. “I’m not breaking up with you if that’s what you are worried about.”

That got a reaction from her. Surprise dominated her noise as she stared up at me. “W-what? But… What I said. How I acted—”

“I warned you that this would not be a normal relationship. I am incapable of that.” Her noise was stunned, lying still for several seconds. “That said, I was not pleased with what happened today on the roof, but not for the reasons you are thinking,” I added as I saw her negatively react to my words. Stopping, I turned to face her. Her noise was apprehensive, eyes failing to meet mine as they flitted over me. “Chloe, there is something I need to tell you about my Gift…”

So I told her. All of it. About how I saw her noise. Her feelings. Everything. She was silent the entire time, her eyes finally finding mine as she listened with wide-eyed awe at the depth of my Gift. I could see my words affecting her noise. The mix of emotions she felt as I told her that her emotions were an open book to me. That being with me would mean she could never have true privacy in how she felt.

“This whole time…” she whispered.

“I’m sorry I kept it a secret.”

“I… I never heard of something like this. Or even possible. I mean… for a set time maybe, but all the time?”

“All the time. The only thing I can seemingly control is changing the distance if I focus, but it is rather limited.”

“So… you know when I’ve been with another guy because you can see my Gift in my noise?” I nodded as negative emotions flooded her. “So I’ve been rubbing it in your face this whole time—”

“You misunderstand. While it is true that there is a purity to your noise when not under the effect of your Gift, it does not change how I feel about you.” I took a moment to plan my words. “Chloe, don’t take this the wrong way, but I am not with you for physical reasons.” I held up my hand stopping her as panic, fear, and self-loathing surged in her noise. “That isn’t to say you are not physically attractive. You are a beautiful woman both in mind and body but you have to understand that your physical nature does not have the impact on me that you may wish. Your noise, however… I wish I could properly explain how I see you. I wish you could see how you look to me.” I paused, thinking hard. I could tell she was struggling. She wanted to understand, but she was limited by her own experience. How do I put into words colors? How does one describe sight to the blind? “Think of us standing here. Or anywhere. Think of all the beauty you can see around us.”

We were standing in one of the gardens that surrounded the school. The landscaping was as immaculate as always. The school never skimped on outward appearances.

“This is what you see,” I said, gesturing to the beauty around us. I waited as she looked around us before focusing back on me. “It is beautiful, yes?”

“It is,” she said.

“Me? I can see it. I can understand it, but I can’t feel it. Seeing beauty doesn’t move me as it can you. Noise is like the sun,” I said, holding my arms out. Palms up, I looked down to see the light reflecting from my skin and uniform. “Standing here, it surrounds us. A constant, invisible presence. You can’t see it, but you can feel it. Warmth in its presence. Chill in its absence. Only imagine there isn’t just one type of sunlight, but thousands… countless combinations. Emotions to me are the colors you see. They make up my world.” I lowered my arms and looked at her. I held her gaze, making sure she understood the most important of all of this. “If you will excuse the crude analogy, you are the sun and I am a plant. Simply being near you allows me to thrive and grow. But a plant doesn’t care that the sun is shared with other plants, only that the sun continues to shine on it.”

Looking away, she was silent as she thought. I could see the emotions moving through her as she wrestled with my words.

“I…I think I understand.”

“This isn’t something we can leave vague. I need you to understand because this is the foundation of our relationship. If you have questions, ask. I will answer to the best of my ability.”

“You said you were upset—or at least your version of upset—on the roof today.” She hesitated, not meeting my eye. “Why?”

“Because Adam’s Gift twisted your noise. It changed you into something you were not. Seeing that… Seeing what he was doing to you…” I lost my words. I couldn’t describe it. An eclipse perhaps. I knew that the sun was still there and would return, but I was still left in the dark during the process. My world of light had darkened and I had been lost in its absence.

“So it wasn’t because he had sex with me?” I shook my head. “He didn’t use a condom. He came inside me. You cleaned me up after!” There was heat in her voice as shame danced in her noise. There was also a hint of anger. She was mad at herself. At me for not being angry at her.

“I’m sorry, but as I said, that doesn’t affect me. If you want me to be jealous that you were with another man, I can’t. Literally. I can’t feel it in any measurable way.”

She was fighting back tears. “I offer you nothing.”

“You offer me everything, Chloe. You aren’t understanding. Your noise is special. There is a draw there. When I am alone in a crowd, the constant noise around me grinds against me, wearing me down. It’s almost painful, feeling all the unfiltered emotions of dozens, hundreds of people. But with you beside me, all I can see is you. All I feel is you. When you are happy, joyful, or in a general positive mood, it’s like a sunny day at the perfect temperature. I can just open myself and feel like I’m alive. At the same time, when you are in a negative mood I want to move the world to change that. Yes, there is a selfish motive in there, but it is also because I care about you. I—”

I caught myself. She looked at me and I could see her trying to understand me. I felt it. She desperately wanted to know. Reaching out, I took her hands.

“I love you, Chloe. You, Chloe. Not who you think you are. Not who you wish to be. I love you. The you now. The you tomorrow. The you of yesterday. Because I see you. The real you. The you that you can’t hide from me. Never.” My eyes fell away. “Perhaps it is just a word to me, but it is all I can offer in a language we share. I can’t love you the way that you may want me to. That I hope one day you feel for me. For yourself.” Releasing her hands, I looked down into her eyes as I ran a hand over her cheek to wipe at the tears. The warmth of her cheek was muted next to what surrounded me.

She didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. I saw it all right there in her noise. Leaning in, I gently pressed my lips to hers. It wasn’t a passionate affair, though I suspected she wished it was. The kiss represented our relationship as it was now. A caring and loving presence, but still a distance there. A distance that we had to work on closing. And I would try, as impossible as it may seem. In all my life, I had never felt such a strong drive within me. I had found my sun, and I would do everything in my power to keep her in my life. Keep her shining so that I could grow into something much more than I was now.

Chloe was the key to it all and I wanted her to be happy. I believed that I could make her happy. More, I believed that I could allow her to love herself as much as I loved her. Together, we would make each other better, allow ourselves to grow.

I don’t think she saw what I did. Not quite. But I saw her desire to believe me. To understand the me who saw the world differently than she did. More, I saw that she still cared about me. It wasn’t love. Not yet. But it was growing. Each and every day, we grew together.

And I would fight with all my being to protect that.