Xander Cucks Angelus (Finished)

*This story begins during the episode Passion - Angelus has been playing mind games with the Scoobies, which has led them to trying to undo the invitation and also staying close to Buffy for protection.

"I don't know what I'm going to do about Angel," I said as I collapsed on Willow's bed.

Willow looked at me with concern, "He's really gotten to you, hasn't he?"

I held up the picture he had sent me. My own mother. "I don't know how to stop him."

"Well, I'm pretty sure we can undo the invitation. That will..."

"Slow him down?" I asked with a sigh. "That won't stop him."

"Maybe if you stopped moping around and actually took the fight to him," Cordelia said bluntly.

"Cordy!" Willow quickly gasped.

I didn't react. Cordelia was right. There was just one problem, "I can't kill him."

"Well, play the game he is playing," Cordelia responded. "If he's going to play mind games to distract you, play mind games right back."

"He's a soulless monster," Willow said. "How do you get under his skin?"

"He's a man. With a giant ego," Cordelia answered. "Listen, nothing makes an ex-boyfriend more jealous than getting a new boyfriend. Especially if the new one has something the old one is lacking."

"I can't start dating again," I said with a shake of my head. "Even if I could get past Angel...anyone I was with would just become a target for Angel."

"Yeah it would have to be someone who already knew what was going on and there is no one who meets that..." Willow began before she realized who could fit the bill. "Oh."

I let out a little laugh, "Xander? Yeah, I don't see that working. Cordy?"

She looked to be in deep thought which was always worrying. "It could work."

"You can't be serious," Willow and I said at the same time.

"It makes sense. Xander already knows the dangers, the two of you are always around each other, and Angel hates Xander. During the love spell Angelus was incensed when he thought Dru was into Xander. Seeing him with you would drive him insane."

"Yeah, but you and he are..." I started.

"Dating? Sure, but staying alive is currently my priority," Cordelia said. She might not be the smartest girl, but she did tend to see things like this clearly.

"Well, no," Willow protested. She couldn't be happy about this. "You said the new boyfriend needs to have something that the ex doesn't have. What does Xander have that..."

Cordelia stopped her talking by holding her hands a little over a foot apart.

"Uh, you're joking, right?" I asked.

Cordelia gave me an oddly serious stare, "The only reason we haven't had sex yet is I'm not sure how I'll get it to fit."

I'd been pressed up against Xander enough times to know he was better endowed than most, but the portion Cordelia was outlining was more than I'd frequently imagined.

"You can't just jump in bed with Xander!" Willow said, coming close to a shout.

"She doesn’t have to jump in bed with Xander, just let Angel think that's a possibility. Actually, it’s even better if Angel is thinking more is happening than actually is; that way he’ll keep trying to find out more. It will make him furious."

And if he got mad enough, he'd come straight for me. That was preferable to him picking off my loved ones.

I nodded my head, "How do we start?"

Cordelia rubbed her chin, "There's four ways you could approach this. One, have Xander focus on you, make it seem like he is giving you a bigger happy than Angel ever did. Two, you focus on Xander, make Angel think that you've moved on. Three, do something with Xander that you never would have done with Angel. Four, go at each other like animals, like the passion is overwhelming you."

Geez, I was not expecting to have to make a choice like this today. "Anything else?"

"It could be you and another girl," Willow said quickly. Cordelia and I both shot her a look, "For Xander, I mean. Isn't he always going on about that like it's the big guy fantasy. Um, just Xander’s fantasy, not talking about anyone else here. That would really show Angel that you've moved on.”

Well, that wasn't any crazier than what Cordelia had outlined.

"What's it going to be, Buffy?" Cordelia asked.

"We haven't checked in with Xander on this."

She rolled her eyes, "Trust me, that won't be a concern. Stop hesitating."

Well, if we were going to do this I would...

A) Xander focus on pleasing Buffy (0)

B) Buffy focus on pleasing Xander (8)

C) Do something she had never done for Xander (3)

D) Have a passionate encounter (0)

E) Take Willow's suggestion and try something with another girl (2)