We Can't

I brush my sister's cheek with my hand, trying to calm her. I can't believe it, this is why she couldn't confide in me. She's expecting me to hate her. I don't hate her... I just can't reciprocate those feelings.

"How... Long have you felt like this?" I ask, trying to figure out how to approach this conversation.

Rosie, still not opening her eyes, responds. "I don't know... Forever, I guess. When my friends would talk about boys the liked... What they wanted to do with them... I just thought of you."

Suddenly so much makes sense, she always hated any girl I dated, she even resented Toni. It explains why she'd snitch whenever I snuck out. Why she started hating Marie as soon as we got flirty. Her feelings of protecting her siblings have been crashing against her feelings for me.

"I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you, keeping this secret all this time." I admit. "You... You know nothing can come of it, right? You're my sister, I can't feel like that about you."

"I know." Rosie responds immediately, finally opening her tear-flooded eyes. "I know... It just... It hurt so much... When you didn't take my side, it made me realise that you saw me the same as every other member of our family and... And it tore me apart."

I stroke her hair gently, letting her sobs work themselves out. "That's not true at all." I correct her. "I don't look at you all the same at all. I look at you all for who you are. I see Poppy's innocence, and Marie's awkwardness, and I see your compassion. You're all unique, just because I don't have romantic feelings towards you, it doesn't mean I don't love you for who you are."

Rosie wipes her eyes, sitting up in her bed. "Thank you... I... I can't promise this'll go away immediately, but... But thank you for not being disgusted by me." She says, slowly beginning to regain her composure.

"Well, no more than usual, I hear you're a fan of long showers?" I joke, referring to Marie's comments from yesterday. Rosie snorts, and playfully pushes me, a smile finally appearing on her face after what feels like a millennium.

"Shut up, I'll tell Toni." She counters. "Can we... Can we not mention this to the others? I just don't want to make it more awkward than it already is."

I wasn't intending on screaming it from the rafters, but I can see her concern, being rejected sucks at the best of times... This situation must be really embarrassing for her. No way around it really.

"Of course, but for what it's worth, I'm proud of you, I don't think I could've been as brave in your shoes." I reassure her, sitting up next to her.

"Brave?" She snorts. "I acted like a psycho for years, trying to stop feeling that way, I treated you like an enemy. That sounds more like cowardice to me."

Hell no, no one talks about my sister like that, not even my sister. "Doesn't matter, it never bothered me, but it takes guts to open up like that. One day you're gonna change the world with that bravery." I respond.

We sit and chat for a while, it's nice. It's easy. I tell her about the band, she tells me about football practice. It feels like a dark cloud has been lifted, one that's been blocking out the sun for way too long.

A knock at the door brings an end to our gossiping. "Rosie, the door's locked, can you open it?" I hear Poppy's tired voice. I stand and walk to the door to unlock it. "Oh, hey Ru, are you two... Okay now?"

I look to Rosie before responding. "Never been better." I let Poppy into the room and make my exit, shutting the door behind me. I can't say that's how I expected the conversation to go, but it's good to have it resolved.

I return to my room and begin changing for bed, I feel like I deserve a good night's sleep after the last couple of days. A sudden thud at the window shocks me out of such thoughts. I turn to look, only to see a face there. The surprise causes me to yelp and fall to the floor, before I recognise the face.

I scramble to my feet and open the window. "Echo, what the fuck?" I demand, as she enters my room.

"Dude, you looked like a fucking idiot falling over like that, I had to hold off laughing or I'd have lost my grip." She mocks me, before plonking herself down on the edge of my bed, taking off her leather jacket. "Had an argument with Ty, need a place to sleep." She informs me, kicking her boots off.

Are sibling conflicts the theme of the day or something? "Wait, so you just invited yourself here?" I ask, still confused. "We're all kind of packed in as it is, we don't really have a spare bed."

"Aren't you precious? I'll just sleep in here, wouldn't be the first time I've slept with a guy." She decides. There's multiple meanings to that phrase and I believe her in all of them. "Relax, it'll just be tonight, I'll figure something out tomorrow." She informs me, pulling her t-shirt over her head.

I'm not sure if it was a deliberate tactic, but I'm too busy looking at her body to argue further. She removes her jeans, leaving just her black and purple bra and pants, before climbing into my bed. I do notice a large tattoo on the left side of her back of a single bat wing, as well as a symbol on her thigh, figures she'd be into that stuff.

I turn off the lights and get into bed on the other side, trying not to think about how uncomfortable this is.

"Oh, and if you poke me in the back with your boner I'll cut your dick off." She promises.

This may be the worst night's sleep I've ever had.