Do it.

Doing It

There’s no diplomatic way to ask a woman to stand aside so you can open up her cat. For all Avery’s flexibility in taking a ten minute sex break from her packing, her commitment is enough that she rebuffs your first four attempts to distract her. Following you back to your place, waiting for you at a hotel, meeting up at Ingrid’s place for another threesome (“she’s at work, Will,” she says, like you’re being obtuse and don’t have your own private fuck bunker in your office). Even a simple request to let you tie her up in her bedroom meets with insistence that she needs to get ready for the transfer.

Miss Kittenpuss watches. Waiting. Mocking.

You offer to help with the packing, and before she can rebuff even that, you excuse yourself to the bathroom and place a call.

“Well, well, well, I was just thinking to myself that I hadn’t had the best fuck of my entire fucking life in a few days,” answers the woman on the other end.

“Yeah, great to hear your voice too, Mia. I need a favor. I would owe you big. Are you busy?”

“When and where, and do I need any tools? Weapons?”

You nod to yourself. This was the right number to dial. “I’ll text you the address and details.”

“Can’t wait.”

Later that night, long after dark has settled over the neighborhood, your front door swings open to reveal none other than Mia, strutting confidently – and uninvited – into your house. She would look good, if anything could right then.

“Hey there, hunky stuff.”

“Hey, Mia.”

“So did everything work out? I did like you said – or, well, elaborated on all the stuff you didn’t say. How’d it go with whatever you were up to?”

“It went…” You sigh. “It went.”

She sets herself down on your ottoman, across from you, legs spread indelicately. Because of course you could fuck her. “Yeah? What’d you need her out of her house for? Putting some hidden cameras in the place or something? Kinky shit, Will. Kinky shit.”

“No.”

Put off by your taciturn demeanor, but not enough to take the hint, she instead leans in. “No? So what were you doing over there, then? You don’t strike me as a burglar. C’mon, after all the bullshit I just went through, the least you owe me is a little story.”

You shake your head, not as a rebuff, but because you simply can’t right then. Since she isn’t leaving, you may as well, retrieving the fifth of whiskey you’ve been pouring down your throat all evening from where you’d been hiding it in your fist behind the back of the couch, and take another long pull. You offer it to her, and she follows suit.

“Story. Yeah. Tell you what. Why don’t you tell me yours, and then… we’ll see. How about that.”

Mia nods. “Sure. If that’s what gets you off.”

You take the bottle back, make use of it, and flop back down, eyes closed. There’s a lot etched on the backs of your eyelids, but you bury it under a prettier picture of your companion’s tale.

“So I showed up at the address, like you said. Took the lucky bitch forever to answer, but I guess, in the midst of moving, it would. The two of us don’t know each other or anything, but us Monarch ladies can pick one another out of a crowd, same as I’d know you were one of us even if I didn’t know know, ya know?

“Anyway, so I know the thing is gonna be to get my foot in the door. You can do that, you can go the distance, right? Or at least you can’t if you don’t. So I try to imagine what I’d be thinking if I got a transfer. Like, fuck, I’d be beside myself just to get moved out of records, much less land a full-blown transfer. So I look your blondie in the eye and tell her I’m with her new boss, and they sent me to take one last look at their new acquisition, make sure she’s up to snuff.

“And the lucky cunt buys it!” Mia doubles over laughing. “Didn’t blink, just assumed that her new people would just send over some anonymous chick to put her through the wringer, no notification or anything. Like they’d even know where she’d live, right? God, for a chick that’s definitely not a real blonde, it was a hell of a blonde moment.”

You heard all this before when it happened. You were in Avery’s kitchen after all, though of course she had no way of knowing that. “So I tell her they wanted to run some off-site diagnostics, and she needs to follow me ASAP. No lie, dippy bitch started following me to my car without even getting dressed first. Like it was implied they wanted her there with her tits already out, ya know? But I thought it was too damn funny, so I roll with it.

“Now I didn’t want to get pulled over or anything, obviously. One thing to fuck with her for a few minutes as a favor to Mr. King’s prodigy, but even I know not to blow a transfer getting her ass arrested for indecent exposure. So yeah, much as it bursts your imaginary bubble, I gave her trusting ass a top. Just this three-quarters transparent thing I keep in the car for emergencies, but ya now, gotta play it safe.”

The energy to wonder why Mia drives around with a see-through top in her glove box eludes you, as does most of the energy to picture Avery’s busty blonde body stuffed into one. You nod, you think.

“So you said you needed an hour, so I took her to a hotel about twenty minutes away. Which I’ll need reimbursement for, by the way. Wasn’t really a way to keep it going without getting a room. Do you have an expense account, or do you wanna just do cash?”

“Why didn’t you just take her somewhere thirty minutes away and circle back?”

“OK, so I was kidding about the reimbursement, first off. And second, did you want me to come back with a juicy story for ya or did you want me to be economical with your distraction?”

“Ha. Yeah. Right. Go on.” You’re pretty sure that isn’t what laughter sounds like, but she goes on.

“So I take her inside, trailing at my heels like a little lost puppy dog, get us a room. She doesn’t bat an elongated eyelash. I take her up to the room, and she looks around like she expected somebody. Who, I dunno, but she looks at me for the first time a little puzzled, little suspicious I think. And I’m like uh, oh, maybe this accountant’s got some brains in there after all, you know? Only instead of demanding answers, she just gets down on her knees and starts working on my shorts.

“Mind you, I didn’t really have a plan or anything. I was figuring I’d just take some measurements, have her do a few exercises or something like I was worried she’d pass out if she did a few jumping jacks. But getting my pussy eaten was a damn nice side benefit – and one more reason aside from how much I like ya that you don’t owe me anything.

“And honestly? Not bad. I’ve had better. That one mouthy girl from your department, or was her sister in your department?” In that moment, you forget which one works for you. “Anyway the one babe from your cookout, she chows a mean fucking box. But our girl Avery, she’s at least determined. Not usually my style, having a girl tongue my clit like she wants me to come on her face in the next thirty seconds, but I guess she still had a lot of packing to do.

Mia runs a finger along the crease in the middle of her denim shorts, in case you forgot where her pussy was, where Avery’s face just was. “So yeah, I gave her what she wanted. Would’ve liked to drag it out a little, but you said you needed an hour and I didn’t know if you meant at least an hour or be back in exactly one hour, so I figured I’d play it safe and do like you said. I follow directions, see?

“But even with my puss smeared all over her face, she’s all, ‘that’s it?’ But I was already on my way out the door, so she’s running after me, my cum running down her chin, pouting like she wants another gold star for effort!” Mia breaks down in another fit of deeply amused laughter. You smile, a little. For a sec. “And I said, ‘you took too long, so that’s all the time we have. Guess I’ll report that that’s all you had in you.

“And fuck, Will, you should’ve seen how she flipped right the hell out, right there in the lobby. She was all, ‘No, take me back, I can do better, I can pleasure you so good, just give me another chance, I don’t take no for an answer when it comes to my boss’s satisfaction, or anal, I’ll eat your ass if you want, I don’t even care, I love it.’ Oh, gawd, the bellhop about came his pants listening to the bitch beg me for a round two. Lady at the desk, her jaw just dropped right into the counter. Oh god, what else, she said something else that was… Yeah! ‘Everyone at the office says my slut mouth is a sure thing, every time!’ Oh Jesus, it was pathetic.”

Everyone at the office? What…? Why…? You shake your head. No more questions tonight. “Whole way back to her place, she’s pawing at me, sticking her hand down my shorts to finger me, sticking my hand on her tits like I’ve never felt a set of big titties in my life, getting herself off like if I just heard her come loud enough, that’d seal whatever deal she thought she’d blown. This old fucking geezer at the light, he’s in the lane next to us, and she screamed so loud when she hit her O that I really thought the old bastard might have a heart attack then and there. His old lady in the seat beside him sure didn’t like it any, though, I’ll tell you that.

“Anyway so she barely lets me not get us killed, and we get back to her place. I saw we were gonna be like two minutes early so I took an extra lap, just enough time for her to finish me off one more time. I got a soft spot for the try-hards, you know? Anyway, so I dropped her off, and she runs around to my window like it’s one last shot to plead her case, and I roll it down a crack. Got my shades on now, too, just to mess with her that one extra step.

“‘So did I do OK?’ she says. ‘I’ll do anything to make this work. Anything.’ That smoky, slutty ‘anything’ only a deep down dyed in the wool whore can manage, you know what I mean? And so I told her relax, she’s done just fine, and they’ll pick her up just like they said they would. I didn’t even look at my phone or anything, so like, how she thought I’d know what ‘they’ said, whoever the fuck ‘they’ are, I don’t even know, but you’d have thought I gave the bitch the shocker right there on the driveway the way she reacted. Thanked me like fifty times. Finally I just told her I needed my mesh top back, and she kept right on thanking me while she stripped it off. Neighbors watching and everything. Good advertising, that, right? Big-titted blonde bitch waving her jugs around, jumping up and down, ‘oh thank you, thank you for letting me eat your pussy, thank you!’”

Mia allows herself a few last chuckles at the plight of her former fellow Monarch employee. “Anyway, so I left her there waving goodbye, giving the HOA a show, and that’s when I texted you and you said I could come over. So how’d I do?”

“Sounds like you did great, Mia. Appreciate you taking care of this for me. Really. You did me a solid, and I owe you.” How treating her to having Avery Parker eat her pussy and fingerbang her on the road doesn’t square the account doesn’t fully make sense, but you know it doesn’t.

“Yeah you do. How about you? You get what you were after? Never figured you for a panty sniffer or anything. And boy, if you are, is it ever your lucky night. Between that accountant’s mouth and curling up on the sofa with my favorite guy, it’s a goddamn swamp in my panties. Seriously, somebody warn Atreyu not to bring his horse down there.” She laughs, but her comment goes right over your head until much later.

“Do you have a cat, Mia?”

She arches an eyebrow. “You saying you want my kitty? Because–”

Her shorts are already around her thighs before you can stop her. “No. A cat. Felis catus. Fuzzy little creature that tries to trip you when you feed her. A goddamn cat.”

She doesn’t pull her shorts back up – maybe that’s what she’s decided you owe her – but she does answer, if a bit peevishly at your tone. “No. I don’t have a cat.”

You slump back in your seat. Why doesn’t she? If it’s really that, then she–

“I have a dog,” she continues. “Bumbles, but I usually just call him Bum.”

There it is. Your eyes slide closed slowly.

“You all right, Will? You don’t seem yourself tonight. Don’t know what your business is with that lucky blonde bitch, but–”

“You keep saying that. Lucky. What makes her so lucky? I didn’t even fuck her. Not that I’d call her lucky if I did.”

“What? No, I mean… You know. Because of the transfer. I’ve been waiting almost two years for mine, and she hasn’t been there more than six months. Keeping me locked up down in records like some troglodyte or something. Not fucking fair, I tell you.”

“What? Your transfer…What does that mean? I don’t follow.”

“I mean, what are we all doing jerking ourselves off at Monarch, right? Just biding time, waiting for the real thing while we play at these bullshit jobs. Don’t tell me it doesn’t bother you. Maybe not, I guess, being a bigshot. But us little people… it gets lonely. I’m just glad I was in the elevator that day, or I’d still just be a nobody, pushing paper around.”

“Transfer to where?”

She frowns. “Fuck. God, I never know what I’m supposed to say and what I’m not. Forget it.”

“Mia, no. You are not clamming up on me. What the fuck transfer? Answer me!”

“Whoa, Will, take it down a notch buddy – we’re all on the same team here, right?” She rises to her feet, backing away from you. Slowly, on account of her shorts falling to her knees, but she looks too worried by whatever darkness clouds your face to pull them up.

“Mia, this is not the time to fuck around with me.” You stand up, matching the speed of her retreat. “You wanted to swap stories? OK. While you were out pumping the office well, you wanna know what I was doing?”

“Hey, no, that’s really none of my–”

“I drove a knife through the skull of Avery’s cat.”

“You… what?” Her eyes widen in terror, the terror of a woman who knows there’s no way to mishear what she heard.

“I didn’t want it to suffer, but… I had to be sure, you know? Without any tools or anything to look inside it, I had to know, and you can’t slow walk that kind of thing.” How you’d wanted to slow walk it. “You scare it, or you hurt it, and you’re wrong, and it’s never letting you within arm’s reach again. You have to be quick, decisive, all the way. Said she wasn’t taking Miss Kittenpuss on her little transfer anyway, so why not, right? Why not.”

“Will, you can’t… that’s not…”

“Little thing, she sniffed at the tip of the blade, like it might be a toy, or a treat or something. Didn’t understand at all. Almost went through the roof of her skull in one go, though. Almost ran it into my own hand. Hadn’t thought about that. Never done that before.”

Her back runs into the wall. She’s almost in the corner. There’s nowhere to go. “You ever wonder what’s inside your dog?”

“N-no.”

“Me either. Not before tonight. But I’ll wager this house that it’s the same cords, cables, metal and padding that those psychos used to build Miss Kittenpuss. Fancy-looking stuff. Probably less messy than the real thing, but it’s still awfully messy. Awfully loud, snapping all those pieces apart, one by one.” You gently stroke a strand of her hair. She shudders. “There’s a camera behind each of her eyeballs. Not that they’re eyeballs, just some plastic, fancy little aperture that squints and unsquints. No stomach, no guts – no more than good old Teddy Ruxpin, anyway. Which perplexed me at first, only… I tore that house apart looking for cat food, a litterbox. Nothing. Robokitty doesn’t eat. Doesn’t sleep. It just watches, and listens, and transmits.”

Your chest presses against hers. Her head turns to the side, eyes squeezing shut. “Transfer to where, Mia.”

“I… I can’t! They’ll…”

You twist her chin back to face you, but she refuses to open her eyes. “They who, Mia.”

In spite of the situation, in spite of everything, her hand moves yours between her legs, where, if anything, the swamp has become an out and out bog. Can she seriously be…?! Even now, when you’re… ?!

“Just let me go, Will! Or… or do what you’re gonna do, and get it over with!” Her eyes slide open, and there’s a gleam behind them that’s a stark contrast to the grimace on her lips.

Decision time! Voting is open to all $5+ patrons at my patreon.

• Give her what she wants, then make her talk.
• The hell with whatever fucked up **** games she’s after. Put her to the question.
• She doesn’t want a part of this. Go to Monarch and confront Audrey.
• Go to Monarch and confront Denosha Woods.
• Let her go, but go see what Amy can tell you.
• Fuck all this. You quit.