Pray for guidance

The first step to making a good plan is admitting that you have no plan. The next step, when possible, is to ask someone wiser for help.

To that end, I set about preparing the ritual to call upon Amyria, goddess of the Amazons. I had seen this ritual performed during my time with the Amazons in my youth, and like most of the aspects of their culture I was able to observe, I memorized it to the smallest detail. I often wonder, if the Amazons wished only to help me survive, why I was allowed to observe such rites. They could surely have hidden them from me if they really wanted to.

Usually, it seems, this ritual is performed only by one of the tribe's priestesses. Most often, they would beseech a vision from the goddess to determine the next destination for the tribe when leaving an area, or to guide them in some other decision. The first time I witnessed the ritual, the tribe was considering an attack on the city of Rhemia in retaliation for the bounty posted by the king there - the same one that led to the battle in my village. Apparently the goddess advised against further conflict.

Perhaps it was presumptuous of me, given this ritual's place in Amazon society, to think that Amyria might hear my plea. I was not even a true member of the tribe, let alone a priestess. But the feeling I've had for so long of belonging with the Amazon tribe feels so strong and so natural that I've often wondered if perhaps it came somehow from the goddess herself. I had all but written off this possibility until I heard Eranna's comment about the queen's reaction to me. Perhaps I did have some connection to the goddess after all.

I considered this as I set about gathering ingredients for the ritual. First I picked the herbs which I would be burning as incense. Then I caught and killed a rabbit. It was smaller than the one I had seen sacrificed before, but I hoped that wouldn't matter. The preparation of the entrails proved an even more disgusting task than it had seemed to me looking on as a child. Fortunately, the burning incense had already begun to dull my sense of smell. Still, when at the climax of the ritual I began to lose consciousness, I was momentarily uncertain whether the ritual had succeeded in contacting Amyria or only in making me sick.

My fears were soon put to rest, as I found myself waking in a place I was certain could only exist in a vision. I was in a forest, but the trees looked as old as time itself: as big across as houses and covered with a strange moss. Strange and exotic creatures scuttled about, such as I would not know how to describe. The entire area was permeated with a mist that smelled sweet, but somehow heavy.

"I've been waiting for you, Jalyn."

The voice came from above me. A young woman was sitting on a tree branch, her legs dangling over the side. She was entirely nude save for the brightly colored feathers which seemed to sprout naturally from various parts of her perfectly formed body. I of course knew instantly that this was Amyria. With impossible grace she swooped down from the tree and landed before me. I felt an urge to bow, but I was unable to move my body.

"This meeting has been destined since long before your life began. But you already knew that," the goddess continued, with a voice that flowed over me like water. "What you do not know is why. I will show you."

In what was perhaps the last thing I expected from a vision of a goddess, but Amyria suddenly pulled me into an embrace and locked her lips against mine, kissing me with such passion as I had only dreamed of before. As the kiss lingered, I felt something moving into me through it. Not a physical substance - it was memories, images of another time, another life. I was a great warrior, leading my Amazon sisters to victory. I was a mentor, teaching young girls the rites and customs of the tribe. I was a leader who my sisters looked upon with admiration and respect, and my enemies with fear. And through it all, Amyria was at my side, smiling.

Then she pulled away, and I was back in the ancient forest. "What was that?" I asked, incredulously.

"You just witnessed the life and memories of the first queen of the Amazons, Eranaia. You carry within you what remains of her soul. I connected with her in a way no other god and mortal pair ever has. You might say that we were... lovers. But she passed from the world in time as all mortal creatures do. Arathon, steward of the great wheel, was jealous of our bond, so he removed her soul from the wheel of life, denying it a new form. When at last I discovered his treachery and him to return her soul, he betrayed me yet again by placing it in the body of a boy... in your body."

As she told this story, Amyria looked sad. Beholding her anguish pained me in a way I cannot describe. "You are not Eranaia. She is gone forever from the world. But what remains of her lives on in you, and longs to return to its rightful home... to your rightful home. You do not need to understand. Just know that I will do all that is within my power to guide you home. You are not the woman I once lost... but I will always love you."

Throughout the entire encounter, the sweet-smelling mist had slowly grown thicker and thicker, until the trees and at last Amyria herself were swallowed up by an impenetrable fog. And then I awoke, exactly where I had been before, the incense having burned out, and the sun having set. I quickly buried the remains of the ritual in an effort to block the smell, then relocated my camp a short distance away. I felt exhausted, but I also felt a confidence I had never felt before. I truly had a destiny, and I had faith that in the morning I would receive a sign to guide me towards it.