Pity him

I realized there wasn't anything I could say to defend my actions. All I could was, indeed, pity him.

"Look, what I did is done. And what happened then… Happened. The only thing that matters to me now is that no one else ever knows."

He was keeping silent, throwing me the coldest gaze I’d ever seen from him. The silence pushed me to keep talking.

“It could ruin me, nothing’s more important than that now. I know you don’t want to keep a secret like that but, what can I do to, I mean, if you agree, how can I make it even?”

His eyes barely moved. The sound of a car faintly pierced through the windows. I noticed it had started raining outside. Gabriel’s lips parted ever so slightly.

“Take off your clothes.”

God, what? What? Fuck.

“Wha-what?”

He did not react at all. He knew I didn’t really need him to repeat. He was just letting it sink in. Silently. I hated him. I couldn’t bear his silence. The complete quietness invaded me, **** me into a endless cycle of angry thoughts. I hated his cold gaze. A ray of light piercing through the curtains slashed his face in half, underlining a salient cheekbone. I hated the tone of his voice. Its depth made me feel like I was vibrating with each word, carried by its waves. Yet he was absolutely still, unwavering like the sculpture of a greek god.

“Why?”

“I want to see you naked” he said. “I wanted to watch your body for a long time.”

He knows that’s not what I’m asking.

I hated him now. I instinctively looked at his crotch. Then his hands. Then his face. I wanted to ask what then? but I thought he would just keep answering in the same cryptic way. I stood up.

First I removed my coat, letting it fall in the couch. Then I started unbuttoning my shirt. My hands were shaking. The room felt like a thousand degrees. Not managing to undo most buttons, I passed my shirts over my head, hardly going over the thick braid in my blonde hair. Out of frustration, I threw it to the ground. Just to stall for time, I removed my shoes and socks first. They were simple sneakers that went off in a second. I was back again to having to remove a piece of clothing that I felt was the limit over which no one else than a boyfriend should see.

I unclasped my bra, let the straps fall of my shoulders, and only then did I removed it. I paused after putting it down. I looked at Gabriel, standing nice and straight. His gaze was stuck on my face. He told me to keep going. God, he’s gonna want to see everything. I felt glad that, at least, I would be at my best after removing all the extra pubic hair into a nice shape.

I dropped my skirt and my panties together. Maybe he’ll think I hadn’t been wearing any. I faced him, slightly spreading my legs, hands on my hips to give myself some composure.

His eyes ran up and down over me at first, then he stared lengthily at the most private parts of me. I eventually took a more closed off pose, crossing my arms under my breasts, joining my legs as if I wanted to hide my pubis, but couldn’t.

I had never been looked at the way he looked at me. He was not ashamed of how he was staring and looking all over as if I was there for him to enjoy. _But it so happens that I am. _The more his eyes pierced through my intimacy, the more uncomfortable I was. He must love seeing those D-cups and my landing strip hair.

“Go over there” he said, pointing to the middle of the rug. I suddenly felt a much deeper dread than before. Each footstep until there felt like I had to face an earthquake. He stood and walked over to me, walked around me at a safe, one meter distance to look at me even better. He hadn’t seen my ass yet. My legs and lower back tensed. He finished a full circle around. Then, stopping in front of me, he started lifting his shirt. I felt light-headed. I fell to my knees. His left hand reached to grab me, but stopped halfway. I was okay. Kind of. He stared at me for a second before getting naked too. Now there’s no question on where this is headed.

He was now towering over me. How did we come to that power play? We used to be so close. Now I wanted to hate him.

I couldn’t bear his brutal honesty. He smelled of sweat and warm sex, like a hot and damp forest. Within the stillness of his gaze, I could see a hunger. His cock was throbbing right in front of my eyes. His breathing was heavy, menacing. The lights of the room wrapped and grabbed the shapes of his shaft. I hated the power he had over me now. A drop of precum was gathering at the tip of his cock.

“Come this way” he commanded.

Shame +3
Empowerment -1