Pissing Reggie Off

Reggie walked down the sidewalk and saw a homeless man sitting on the sidewalk. He held a cardboard sign that read Homeless and Hungry. God Bless! His clothes were dirty. A well dressed couple turned the corner from around the building. The man was in a dark blue suit with white shirt and dark red tie. His black hair was gelled back. The woman on his arm was tall and thin but with big fake looking tits. She wore a tight black skirt that came to mid-thigh and a pink blouse. Her hair was dyed platinum blonde and hung to her shoulders, and she had on hug sunglasses. Reggie assumed they were married as the man had a thick gold ring on, and the woman had a gold ring with a huge diamond.

"Spare some change?" the homeless man asked the couple.

"God, you smell like piss!" the woman said, putting her hand to her nose.

"Get a job or at least get off the street!" said the man.

"Assholes!" Thought Reggie.

"FACE YOUR SPOUSE! FREEZE!"

The couple turned and faced each other then froze in place.

Reggie concentrated on the man. "PISS YOUR PANTS!"

The man stood motionless as urine ran down his leg.

"WITHOUT SAYING A WORD, GO TO THE NEAREST ATM, WITHDRAW AS MUCH MONEY AS YOU CAN THEN GIVE IT TO THE HOMELESS MAN!"

The man turned and walked off leaving his frightened, confused wife behind.

"FRENCH KISS THE HOMELESS MAN AND DO NOT STOP UNTIL YOUR HUSBAND GETS BACK!"

Reggie focused on the homeless man. "STICK YOUR TONGUE IN THIS WOMAN'S MOUTH AND RUN YOUR FINGERS THROUGH HER HAIR!"

The woman squatted down and grabbed the homeless man's greasy head. She started french kissing him and gagging at the same time.

Reggie focused on her again. "WHEN YOUR HUSBAND PISSES HIS PANTS IN PUBLIC, IT REALLY TURNS YOU ON. WHEN HE DOES, YOU MUST TAKE HIM HOME, PUT HIS WET UNDERWEAR ON YOUR HEAD AND LICK HIS BALLS THEN SUCK HIS COCK! THE SMELL OF URINE ON YOUR HUSBAND DRIVES YOU CRAZY WITH LUST!"

It took the man a few minutes to come back with $400. When he came back, his wife stopped kissing the homeless man. Her hair as a mess, and she looked ill. The man handed the homeless man the money.

Reggie concentrated on the man. "PISSING YOUR PANTS IN PUBLIC MAKES YOU HORNY AND YOU WILL DO IT AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK IN FRONT OF YOUR WIFE. TAKE HER HOME RIGHT NOW!"

The man and woman were burning with shame and said nothing as they hurried off, leaving the stunned, but very happy homeless man behind.

"YOU WILL NOT SPEND ANY OF THAT MONEY ON DRUGS OR ALCOHOL!"

Reggie whistled and walked off down the sidewalk.