Philosophy 203

Philosophy 203: Intro to Axiology.

You cross your fingers. Your toes. Hell, you'd cross your eyes if it had the same connotation. This is your last chance for a hot professor, and man would this be a great one. Your brain goes to wondrous places.

"What are the ethics, Mister Brown, of me giving you an A+ right now, in return for your cock?"

"I don't know, teach. Let's find out."

But this is where your genius comes into play. Because you, brilliant as you are, did not just get your hopes up again! No, you went onto Rate my Professor and determined that Professor Janis does, in fact, have a spicy pepper, meaning that she is hot! Like any good college student, you have done your research.

You enter the lecture hall right on time to see, at the teacher's podium, a ridiculously, ludicrously hot professor. The kind of hot that you could only imagine seeing in movies or on tv. An utterly perfect, sculpted body and angelic face.

All belonging to a man.

"Ah, there we go!" Professor Janis says, checking his watch. "Eight minutes early, but I think you might be the last one. I always try to encourage punctuality in my class every semester, but it never ends up being an issue."

You are the only male student in the entire class. Everyone is here. Everyone is a girl. Everyone is early.

You look around for someone you might know, and find, to your surprise, Megan? You suppose she is a student like anyone else, but you thought that she was a senior. That all her gen ed classes would be done. Still, you know her. And she is a hot girl, so there is something to salvage out of this class. You approach her.

"Hey," you say. "Is this seat taken?"

She looks up from her phone. "Oh, hey Ryan. No. Feel free."

You sit down next to her and glance around at the girls. "Are you seeing this?"

"Yeeep..." she murmurs. "He has a reputation. There's a rumor that he does romance novel covers on the side to make ends meet. He's an adjunct, he has very few classes, and he's always waitlisted. That's why I couldn't even get him until now."

You raise an eyebrow. "So you're here for...?"

"Oh, no," she puts her phone away. "This is my last gen ed class. I did things in a weird order. But also: I find the subject interesting, and I couldn't get in for years because of these horny bitches."

"I'm not sure I know what the subject means, to be honest," you say.

"It's about axioms," she says. "Like...values. Moral but also...I don't know, how do you make a good vase? What makes it good?"

"There's an entire class about that?"

"I said it's about morals, too," she says. "It used to be called ethics and aesthetics. They say so many girls made dumb jokes about how 'there was only one aesthetic they were interested in' that the staff heard it and changed it.'"

You chortle. "Is that true?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I hope so, with stupid rumors. It'd be a more interesting world if it was."

There is always somewhat of a sophisticated bite to the way Megan says things. A mature cynicism that shows that while she is only two years older than you, those two years go a long way. Maybe it's fine if the 'hot older woman' is just a little bit older, instead of a lot.

"Are we going to debate, like, the trolley problem?" You ask.

"Probably. It is in this wheelhouse. How do you know about that?"

"Memes," you answer bluntly.

"Figures," she studies you. "Look, I like philosophy a lot. I've managed to work some three-hundred level courses into my load, before, but I really wanted to take this one. I know that Janis really likes class discussions. If you can't talk about this stuff seriously or constructively, I'll sit near someone else."

"I am so serious," you say.

"Serious people don't say that."

"Well, what else are they supposed to say?"

Before she can answer, Professor Janis starts the class.

"Hello everyone," he says. "So this is always a popular class, but I want to start with a warning. We end up talking about ethical dilemmas sometimes. It's not as hardcore as the higher level ethics class, but a lot of the time people can become offended during some of the discussions we have. I just want to be clear that, if you are here, you're willing to have hard conversations. If not, I promise that I will personally talk to the administration about letting you transfer into an equivalent philosophy class. There is no shame in anyone getting up and leaving right now."

None of the girls in the class leave. They all stare at him with rapt attention. All of the sudden, you know what it means: Rizz.

Professor Janis starts talking, and to his credit, he is not just good-looking. He is funny, he is fascinating, he makes his own damn syllabus sound like a holy text that can teach you how to be responsible in life. You hate to admit it, and it's not for the same reason, but you're right there with the girls who are hanging on to his every word.

Note to self, a professional nerd, as any professor is, can be hot. You study the ways of Professor Janis. Women do want him, yes. But men (and you are all the men in this room) want to be him. He is smart, he clearly works out, and he is charismatic. Those things, in combination, are how you seal the deal.

You consider this as he ends his first class, and as Megan starts to get up.

"Thanks for sitting with me, Ryan," she says. "I'll see you in the dorm some time."

"For sitting with you?" You say, cutting her off as she's leaving.

"Oh, well. Yeah. I mean, I was alone," she says. "It's...nice to have company."

You get up, and walk out with her. "Trust me," you say. "I benefit more. You've got a hot professor to look at all class. I didn't have that going for me."

"And I fix that problem, then?" She smiles.

Wait. Whoa. Where is this going? "Not gonna lie. You help."

"I'll keep that in mind," her smile droops as you reach the door, exiting the class and back onto the campus. It's almost as if it reminds her. "But Ryan, I'm your RA. Remember that."

"Oh," you take a deep breath. "I do."

"And to that end, I have to see if there are any fires to put out, back on the floor. Maybe literal," she goes fully serious. Back to business mode. "Have a great day, let me know if you need anything."

"Have a great day," you repeat back, automatically.

She breaks off from you, and then disappears in the crowds of students traveling between classes, on her way to the dorm.

Okay, there is no need to beat around the bush. That was a flirt. She flirted with you. But her sense of responsibility kicked in and threw her off. If she's as attracted to you as she seems, you really might have a chance. But it clearly won't be easy.