Part 4: Dating Bill....but yeah I suck (not in the fun way)

Recap. Bill and I had just hooked up for the UMPTEENTH time behind Bunz's back. I don't know. I think I liked the stability of Bunz and the wildness of time with Bill. They were polar opposites. I had never had stable and I had never had wild fun. I was usually just treated like crap. My boyfriend in high-school was great and we're still friends but I think he might be gay. Which is fine. He's amazing.

It's not like I didn't feel bad and its not fair to believe that. I had nights where I cried. I wanted to tell Bunz. I just felt like if I did I'd lose him and I DID have feelings for him. I still care deeply about him to this day (not in a romantic way...sorry Bunz...but he gets it now). I felt like if I told him he'd leave me and I'd be back in a sort of place where I felt completely alone and unable to turn to family and friends. My family and friends were shitty then. I love them to **** too with all my heart but if you met my parents then they were a DRUNKEN TRAIN FUCKING WRECK. I guess that's where I get it. They've changed since.

There were nights I'd cry. There were nights I was MAD at Bunz for leaving me with Bill. There were nights I'd find myself EXCITED at the prospect of seeing Bill again. There were nights when I was just numb to the whole fucking thing and coulda left them both. I was pretty all over the place.

(By the way I'm starting to like the made up BUNZ name. It fits and is easy like the real nickname).

It's time to bring in the evil Emperor character that has lurked in the background of this tale from the beginning. If there was an evil villain in this someone to be hated. It was Bill's mom. Sorry Bill's mom. Really sorry.

Don't get me wrong I love Bill' mom. From the moment I met her she treated me like a daughter almost. Which is odd but sweet. She has never been anything but kind to me. She's this sweet little ol lady to me and always will be.

She fucking hates Bunz. Hates the 'crew'. FUCKING HATES THEM. They think she's a mean old witch. She thinks they spent their youth destroying Bill's braincells and chances at life. She blames them for all of Bill's short comings. She's very protective. She thinks that if Bunz and the crew never were in his life he wouldn't drink and smoke weed all the time. Not real.

This brings me to the first time I met her AFTER the 'innuendo night'. Like a week or so later. Bill invited us to his family party.

I was still telling Bunz to avoid Bill and not bring him up. I said he was rude, crude and mean and obnoxious and gross. Anything to avoid the inevitable that I was probably going to screw Bill eventually.

My hair was still short but starting to be a nice 'bob' if you can picture it and I got some blonde streaks which I think looked great. Bunz DID compliment me on this hair style and still does. I looked good with it. I was pretty sure going to Bill's house for a cook-out wouldn't result in Bill fucking me so I reluctantly agreed. I expected Hillary to go but she told me it was canceled. It wasn't. Bill lied to her and made me the bad guy.

I did get dressed up. I wanted to look good for Bunz, for Bill for Bill's family for everyone. I had on white sundress with a floral pattern and some moderate 3.5 inch silver strap heels. I know because there are pictures of me. No there are no pictures of Bunz at this party and that was deliberate by Bill's mom.

When Bunz and I walked into the door we were greeted by the “hag line”. This was a line of the females, girlfriends and wives who would greet the guests as they came in.

I met Bill's mom and she barely acknowledged Bunz but said I was the most 'beautiful young thing she'd ever seen'. She introduced me around the party as “Bill's friend” knowing full well I was Bunz's girlfriend. It was hard to correct the host. That's impolite. I'm sorry it is.

I wasn't dumb his family (the men) were chatting about whether Bill was hitting that. He had the foresight to say it's not like that. Bunz got me a drink. I took a sip and made a joke about if there was **** in it or not. Bunz said I was something of a chef.

I found myself separated from Bunz and in the kitchen with Bill's mom and other female relatives. I was making mojitos and helping them with horedervs. I think I made a joke about “horedervs” for the ladies and tequila for us “whores”. The ladies laughed. They laughed at EVERY fucking thing I said. Bill's mom eventually asked why Bill couldn't meet a girl like me.

It's not like I ignored Bunz but he did keep his distance. I was outside in with the 'hags' and I think Bunz was afraid of them or something. He was never too far away. I kept getting him drinks. He looked so out of place there. I don't know why but I always fit in kinda. Bill got me a drink and I blushed since that was odd. I don't know if Bunz saw that or even if it was bad.

I made a joke about meatballs looking JUST like a sack of hairy balls but tastier (yeah. I been know to do shit like that). Everyone laughed and then Bill's mom said “would you just date my son already”. Blushed again since I think Bunz was within earshot. I said something along the lines of if she could teach him to bake like her maybe I would. I did say that. I won't lie.

I was having a smoke on the side of the house with his aunt or older cousin or something. Hiding from Bill's mom. She caught us and said “I knew it was too good to be true.” I joked that I was KINDA perfect in EVERY OTHER WAY.

Bill's aunt asked how long I'd known Bill. Then she added. “Your just friends?”

Bill's mom looked at me his aunt looked at me. I was beat red. This was AWKWARD AF (AS FUCK). The aunt might have missed the boat but Bill's mom was disregarding Bunz which made me feel bad.

“I've known him a few months.” I looked around for Bunz but he was inside watching Basketball with the guys. I think.

“And your just friends?” His fucking aunt asked again.

I just stood there smoking feeling hot from anxiety and uncomfortableness. Would I lie? Should I say I'm with Bunz at that point? If I said that and that me and Bill were NOTHING that would be a lie. I'd been lying to Bunz and I won't say I never lie. I just felt so strange then. I said nothing.

“We get it,” his aunt put her hand on my shoulder. “You don't have to say anything.”

Bunz says we were only at the party for an hour. We were there for an entire Basketball game. Enough time for Bills mom to ask me to go the store with her. I was inside and looked to Bunz with that HELP me look. He just laughed and rolled his eyes.

Now I thought we'd drive but Bill's mom said it was just around the corner. It wasn't and we walked for like ten minutes. It was enough time for Bill's mom to pour her little heart out. Luckily I was sort of drunk. I'm never mean. Always polite to a fault. It's what got me into this mess with Bill and Bunz.

The following is more shit Bunz don't know.

Bill's mom didn't WASTE time going into her hopes. She wasn't dodging the elephant in the room either. She told me she knew I was with Bunz but that I was TOO good for her. I stuck up for Bunz and she apologized. She then said she KNEW me and Bill weren't just friends. Bill talked about me before I even came. He didn't tell his mom what we'd done but she said she could tell by the way he spoke about me. By the way he LOOKED at me and the way I LOOKED at Bill. The smiles laughs body language and the hair flips (She gets it). She didn't press me but she said she and Bill's dad sort of met in a similar fashion. It was all nuts. Today I'd probably had said 'slow down lady'. I'm always too nice. I let her ramble. She was actually blowing smoke up my ass the whole time (figuratively there pervs).

She called me 'gorgeous' said I was a 'delight' and 'a ray of sunshine' with a quick wit that would fit right in with the family. She told me to seriously think about giving Bill a chance and that a girl like me could help him turn her babies life around. That I was a 'one in a million girl' and Bill couldn't let me go. Yeah...she was nailing my ego buttering me right up.

I did what I always do and rolled with the punches. I let her down by saying I didn't think Bill was ready for a commitment like that (was I?). I explained that Bill and I HAD talked about dating (we sort of did on innuendo night right out in the open). I listed the things he needed to change. His job, his car, his clothes, his living at home all told me he wasn't ready for something REAL. She agreed and said she'd talk with him.

We got cups and plates and condiments and went back talking about my job, my school, etc. It was nice that someone took interest beyond sex or money. We got back and I was brought to the back with the “hags” again and these ladies were FEELING me. Laughing their asses off. One lady spoke about some nice bar that Bill should take me to. Where you had to dress up. Some sort of steakhouse. Bunz wasn't that far away at that point. Bill's Mom did say “can you just marry my son already”.

To which I replied “Wait so we're engaged now. We haven't even gone to the steakhouse yet?” I ran with the jokes.

We eventually did leave but not before Bill's mom MAKING me say goodbye to everyone with her. Bill hugged me goodbye in a drunken manner and I thought it was wise to leave.

Two things about this story. First that night when Bunz was a asleep I took a long hot bath in his parents hot-tub jacuzzi thing. I was drinking wine and I had just smoked a bowl out on the deck. Bill didn't have my number at that point and I didn't have his despite what Bunz thinks. As I laid there in the bubbles I was thinking about what happened. I admitted that I wasn't really cheating on Bunz anymore. Well yeah I was but there was more to it at that point. If you've ever been young you know that relationships start with those random drunken hookups (or at least used to no Tinder yet). That moves to dates and sex and then your together. I couldn't deny that me and Bill were moving forward in our intimacy. I had literally just met Bill's mom.

I think I legit face-palmed myself in that tub. I don't know if I said it out loud or just mouthed the words but I was like “fuck Morgan you got two boyfriends.” Drunk little immature me was trying to rationalize that I had JUST started fucking Bunz when I met Bill. So it wasn’t fair to say it was TOO serious. Yeah I was trying to push away my own shame and blame. I know.

I'd be a liar if I didn't say I sat there rationalizing how it would work. I mean dating Bill and leaving Bunz. It wouldn't I figured. I did think about it. I thought about it so much so that I hit my friend up in an email (again this story is old. Email pen pals yeah). She had moved away in the beginning after meeting Bill once. I had told her I 'met' someone. We chatted a lot via email for some reason back and forth between LONG emails and texts. I think its because I could pour my heart out in a long email and she could do the same. Sort of like therapy. I did see a therapist for stress back then. This was my friend though. I explained to her I 'met' someone. She asked what happened with Bunz. I laid out a lot of the story and said it was that 'Bill' guy she met before she moved away. I told her I'd met his mother today and she insisted I date her son and not Bunz.

My friend texted me that she KNEW Bill and I were fucking. I informed her we weren't and that nothing had really happened. Was making out really bad? I still was too immature to view the emotion behind the making out and I kinda just thought I wasn't touching his dick so no big deal right? Had I touched his dick? I don't think yet. My friend told me that there was NO WAY me and Bill were that easy going and flirtatious when she saw us together. She said that meant we HAD to have had sex so that's why it was all cool on the tension front. Which was funny because I never did have awkwardness with Bill.

I sometimes did with Bunz. I really did. If I got REALLY dressed up he'd be quite and sort of non-talkative. Not sure why he'd be uncomfortable around his OWN girlfriend. This made ME uncomfortable to wear short skirts and dresses and full make-up. He seemed to have a weird problem with it. This is another reason my skirts with him were on the longer side.

The other thing of interest happened a few years later at that same family party in Bill's backyard. Just like before Bunz walked in this time alone and walked up to the 'hag line'. Bill's mom greeted him and took him through the line until he met Bill's new girlfriend.....ME. Bunz had awkwardly hugged the other ladies as everyone always did. When Bill's mom got to me she said with a smile “you know Morgan”!

I felt such pity and sadness for Bunz. That HAD to be the most humiliating moment in all of this for him. I know it was for me. Both of us red faced. Bunz held his hand out and we did an hand shake that turned into an uncomfortable butts out weird hug where both of us were trying to get in a position that was normal. It didn't work.

She was kind of a bitch to Bunz and Bill and I spent the party trying to get him wasted and apologizing for her behavior.

At the first party Bunz had to watch me take a picture with all the 'hags'. I stood out of the full family photo. At the party years later when I was with Bill poor Bunz had to watch me in ALL the pictures WITH BILL. That had to suck and I feel bad. Maybe I'll bake Bunz some cookies later (lol). He loves my snicker doodles. Trust me you would too.

That is years from where we are.

I think it had to be the end of April. A few weeks after that party. This was the 'date night' that Bunz is so fond of writing about. We got a hotel in the city for just me and Bunz. He was dumb and invited Bill, the crew and some others out for beers. I didn't mind at first but when the 'crew' (who I knew) left except for Bill, Bunz wanted to meet up with Frat Boy X (I'll call him). He was a guy who had left and came back. Bunz was out of college at this point. I was not. Frat guy X was bringing some friends I didn't know.

Frat Guy-X is now a good friend. I love him. Then I couldn't stand him. I didn't want to hang out with these random dudes. I wanted to go back to the hotel and well FUCK. Bunz insisted on having drinks since Frat Guy-X was only in town a night. So we all went to the WORST bar in the city where 18 years olds go without cards. I remember sitting at the bar on the first floor thinking I don't want to do any of this. Bunz was waving me off. I legit told him “FINE then Bill gets a date.” It wasn't just Bunz calling it a 'date night'. I am the one who told him it was a date night with Bill.

There was a second floor that you could only access with a woman. I grabbed Bill's hand and pulled Bill to the inside bouncer who IMMEDIATELY let me up there. Bunz was not allowed to come up. One girl...one guy. I gave him the finger playfully and Bunz laughed.

Bunz has talked and written about this night in length. He jokes about me and Bill's 'date nights' but he shouldn't. Me and Bill went drink for drink and shot for shot. Other than saying 'hi' to Frat Boy-X and his buddies we didn't talk to Bunz AT ALL. He seemed fine with that. Which kinda pissed me off.

I spent that night trying to teach Bill what I wanted in a date. He kept asking if this was a REAL date and I'd tell him no. Get it out of his head. Bill figured it out quick. I wasn't a cheap date. I want good booze and not shelf shit. He pays. Hold doors. I didn't need to tell Bill about compliments he was good with that shit. I think I had on some jeans and that tight turquoise button down cleavage top with high heeled knee high black leather boots. I actually had a blast. No awkward moments (other than making sure Bill's hands stayed where I could see them) no fights no fuss no stress. We danced a LOT. Bill tried to 'grind' into me but I made it clear we dance 'respectable'.

Frat Boy-X's friends were what you would call JUICEHEADS. They were full of themselves and their muscles but even shorter than Bill. Not attractive. That didn't stop one from hitting on me even after Bunz told him I was his girlfriend.

This wasn't my real FIRST date with Bill but I would count it later. I remember telling Bill when he tried to imply we should go back to the hotel ourselves that you don't FUCK on the first date. Not me. Third dates are for sex. He was NOT getting a third date I assured him. I did say a good first date ends with a kiss. This WAS NOT a real date I had to remind him.

It was getting late and Bill actually saved my ass from Muscle boy. That guy cornered me and was NOT playful and was giving me the creep vibe. They almost fucking fought. My hero right? I was wasted again off of shooters for two dollars that Bill kept buying. Our dancing was a LOT closer now with my arms around Bill's neck but our bodies distanced (think six grade dance). Bunz paid little if any attention and seemed happy to chat about 'past college frat stuff'.

Bill tried to make out with me but I stopped him. He said “Don't first dates at least end in a kiss.”

I think I gave Bill the SEXIEST look I could which was probably goofy. I walked to the back steps that led to the alley where people smoked. I looked back to see Bunz at the far end in the other room at the bar. The dance floor was in its own room. I just exited and walked down the steps. Bill was close behind.

This is where cheating was KINDA exciting I'm gonna be real. This alley separated two main streets but there was another alley about ten yards up and to the left. That cut up to a third street. I was walking in front of Bill but he caught up quick and I handed him the smoke I'd been puffing on. I put my gum on the side of my hand.

Bunz told me later that night that Muscle head was talking like Bill and how he would WRECK me if he were Bunz. My boyfriend told him I 'wasn't like that'.

I think while they were discussing this I was in that dark alley making out with Bill. We were kissing hard and intense Bill's hands on my ass and my arms around his neck. First dates end in kisses. So much so that Bill had my gum in his mouth now. I thought that was sooo hot at the time that Bill was chewing the gum that was in my mouth earlier. No one pointed that out. Mothafucker was chewing it like a cow too when we went back inside which made me laugh that no one seemed to bat an eye-lash and continued to talk about past glory. Men are oblivious sometime.

I'm not going to say I didn't feel bad about hurting Bunz. I did. That night I again rode Bunz in that hotel room like a philly. I had a nightie that I bought just for this with a tie thing panty Bunz got to take off of me. Sex was GREAT that night.

Bill and my second date was one you've read about. Bunz's friend from college who FEW liked but Bill was getting married. He clearly had few friends as the guy invited Bill. I was nervous and anxious that Bill was going to be there. I didn't expect him to accept. We didn't see Bill until the wedding. He sat with us. We left the church in order of Bunz me and Bill. I'm pretty sure Bunz said “you remember my girlfriend morgan" to Groom and Bride. I'm not going to fault them for WEDDING BRAIN though.

The reception was just like Bunz told in his chapter. I was talking with Bill and there was an empty seat between me and Bunz. Not sure how that happened it wasn't intentional. That was my seat but I was showing Bill origami or something. The bride said hi to me and Bill and then asked Bunz were Morgan was looking at my place card.

That was the second most awkward moment of all this when Bunz pointed to me and the bride said “I thought she was with...” she looked at Bill but stopped.

Yes. I flashed Bill my pantyhose. He wouldn't let up. Bunz didn't seem to mind and I told Bunz he couldn't see much. He couldn't I had pantyhose on and granny panties under my tan ankle length skirt. What made me happy about it was his slacks. Oh yea both Bunz and Bill wore nice pants and a sport coat. That was a first for me. They were both pretty cute that night. Even Bill. I think maybe I popped my first LADY boner for Bill that day? I saw him pop his boner in his tan slacks. When I flashed him his pants went from flat to an ummm....big bump within a second. I think that was the first time I'd WATCHED a guy pop a boner for me. I've seen my fair share of boners around me thanks to the 'crew' but this was the first time I'd actually WATCHED someone's thing extend in their pants. It's kinda adorable. Kinda sexy actually. Bunz had one too when I looked over. This may have been the moments I shoulda guessed what Bunz 'likes' sexually.

Bill and I spent the day wining and dining as Bunz chatted with the groom and his brothers. The groom's brother legit made a comment that Bill's girlfriend was 'hot'. Bunz corrected him but the dude was wasted. I did talk and drink with Bunz but he was off and talking with some people about his job trying to make connections for what he was planning on doing in the future. I can't blame him for networking but again he left me alone with Bill drinking. I knew NO one there and BARELY knew Groom and Bride at the time. We didn't even talk with Bride and Groom much beyond me Bill and Groom getting a shot. The subject of who I was dating just didn't come up. I'm not going around saying 'just to be clear I'm with Bunz'. Groom had already met me as Bunz's girlfriend months ago. I kinda just assumed he knew.

The reception was kind of a blast. Maybe...MAYBE my favorite wedding. I have to give a shout out to Groom and Bride for the spread. The food was fucking PHENOMENAL. It was a buffet thing. There was a fucking TOWER of shrimp with like bubbling sauce I shit you not. Same for the desserts. There was waterfalls like against the wall of white and dark chocolate and you could dip your shit (bread pieces or cake or cookies). Bill and I sat there for like an hour laughing and eating. I may or may not have fed him food. The optics of it looking back spoke to me and Bill there together. I think I sort of FELT that way after a few drinks. Not sure why other than we weren't talking to anyone else since we didn't know anyone. Bunz would stop and join for drrinks but Bill and I were drink for drink and smoke for smoke. Bill was getting the rounds which was unique. I'd get some.

Yes we were calling it a date too. Not to Bunz's face though. I said it doesn't count. Bill insisted it did. I still plated along and when we'd smoke I made sure to stop at the door. Bill was confused and I reminded him 'you hold doors' for your date. He got it. He mentioned that he WAS paying for all the drinks. Which he was.

You know what though I think that was an open bar now looking back. Fucking cheapskate LMFAO!

I don't know if Bunz wrote about this but there was a moment Bill was talking to a bridesmaid. I'm not great with keeping my legs crossed when drunk. Its a running joke or was with the crew. I know I talk about body language but my ability to keep them crossed faulters when I'm drunk. The crew said if you wanted to see my panties or know what color just wait until last call. I'll probably have them wide open singing some song at the top of my lungs (I guess that could be annoying to some).

Bunz was next to me chatting with the Groom's brother about work. Bill was at a table or two down talking to some relatively cute blonde in her bridesmaid gown. I hate blondes BOO! Maybe Bunz doesn't know I did this but I opened my legs towards Bill. I think I was kinda jealous yeah (LOL). I did that whole looking around the room as if I'm not paying attention. Nothing to see here just a girl with a hiked up tan skirt giving people in that direction a view up her skirt. Bill was the only person in that direction I hope. It's not like I spread my legs wide open and pointed. Not too wide so it looked innocent but wide enough if he took a look he'd see ALL the way up.

I musta lost track looking around at all the goings on because I had caught lil fish Bill in my panty-hose net. When I looked back he was staring right between my legs with I wanna say sweat pouring down his face. There really wasn't much to see. I swear. It wasn't sexy. Not to me.

That wasn't the last time. I called Bill out on the long ass deck for a smoke and when he came out I said 'is there a run in my stocking and then quickly lifted the back of my skirt showing him my ass in the stockings. That might have been sexy thinking about it. It was only for a moment.

Me and Bill found ourselves in a lounge chair watching the sun set sharing a smoke. The chair was facing out to the beach. No one was around. I think maybe a few other couples were. It was a moment looking back I should have shared with Bunz and I was looking for him. I always did and he was in a conversation. I could have done more. I really could have. I think at that point I was in the mindset that I was sort of with Bill. It was one of those moments were everything was perfect for a couple but I wasn't WITH my boyfriend. We were sitting there in this fucking PLUSH lounge chair sharing a beer and a smoke. I was FACING my vodka tonics at that point and was occasionally sipping Bill's Amstel Lights I like that beer and Heineken so I made him get those.

We were drunk and in an inadvertent romantic moment in a setting that was sort of DESIGNED just for that. These long chairs at the end of the reception hall deck were positioned towards the setting sun. I was sitting very close and comfy with Bill and we sort of stopped talking in that awkward moment were you acknowledged the moment. Again I was supposed to be in that moment with Bunz but I wasn't. I want to say I felt bad but I didn't really feel much. Sort of like being on auto-pilot if that makes sense. The scene, our nice dress, the fun night, the drinks. Its like you know. Some would call it magical I guess where I turned to look at Bill but my eyes were closing and his head was moving towards mine in that perfect moment. It wasn't gross either. It tasted gross and was all smokes and booze but the kiss wasn't an obscene one. It was slow and short and sweet. My head turned twice I felt Bill's tongue and pushed mine against his. That was it. It was over. Still like the kiss goodbye it was damaging for me mentally (later at least). It was a moment that was destined to end in a nice kiss the type a couple does but I wasn't with Bunz. It spoke to more between me and Bill than I wanted to admit.

Shit I was having fun though and that only made it more memorable. It did. You'd think we were awkward after that but I felt no sense of uncomfortableness. I was having a blast and that moment just SEEMED right for the night.

I have seen photos from the wedding. One of me dancing with Bill another of Bunz, Me, and Bill (in that order) with the groom next to Bill and the bride holding him. The Bride is friend of mine and SHE thinks Bill was with ME to this day. I'm not correcting her at this point. Bunz is almost cut out of the photo. Poor guy. It really wasn't his night and I don't think he knows that.

You've read all that. What you don't know is that Bunz got so blitzed he passed out. Bill didn't help as he Bunz and another two guys smoked a joint. Bill ALWAYS had weed. I sat out that joint. Bunz gets the spins when he smokes and drinks (which is rarely). Bunz had a problem with pissing the bed when that drunk. I'm sorry Bunz. He did. It was gross but I let it slide. I would usually wake him up and clean the sheets. I don't judge people. Bill did that shit too. All men piss when wasted. It happens. I checked to make sure he hadn't pissed the bed after Bill and I helped him into the room. This was only like 1030 PM.

I was drunk too. Real drunk. Bill offered a joint I said “NO MAKING OUT” this time. We went down to the bottom of the hotel and went out to the beach and walked the beach and smoked weed. I won't lie at this point I got the spins and remember very little. I know we were making out pretty quickly. I know that me and Bill were making out on the beach not too long after the joint. I wonder to this day if it was laced. Bill was sloppy too.

The next thing I can clearly recall is my top being up and my bra up with my tits out. I have Bill's dick in my hand and I'm pumping it over the sand. I don't even really remember what Bill's dick looked like just that I was pumping it hard and that he was hard. I was at his side looking to his dick and then to his face. I recall saying “Are you gonna cum?” That's all from that scene.

The next thing I recall is this wooden bar I was sitting at and I felt HOT...literally and in a sexual fun way. There was a gasp from behind and someone talking about him “fingering her right there”. That seemed odd but I know that Bill was sucking on my ear and I looked down and my skirt was hiked up and Bill's hand was under there. I think I recall this because I remember suddenly having an orgasm right there in some bar I didn't recognize as Bill fingered me. My pantyhose were still on he was playing with my pussy pushing the fabric into it. I was getting fingered at a bar like some little whore.

Then images of something like a fucking coat room. I think it was the reception hall. Not sure how we got to the bar where I was fingered let alone back to the reception place. I was definitely again pulling on Bill's cock feeling it in my hand looking down at it and back up at him. “How are you not cumming yet.” I told him. There was a back and forth about me 'getting down on my knees'. I told Bill I wasn't sucking his cock. I don't think I did. I do remember feeling wet all down my left leg. “I think I pissed myself” I told him. Yeah we were SLOPPY drunk.

Next memory is back on the beach sitting down in the sand. Bill's hand was back up my skirt and his mouth on mt neck. I think I told him he was leaving a mark. He was. A big hickey on my neck under my ear enough luckily to cover with my hair.

Thinking back Bill left a FUCKLOAD of hickies on my neck almost each time. It was kinda his calling card. It was the hickies that had me Melonie and Hillary realizing we were all on Bill's 'list'. Bunz had even talked about Hickies on his high-school crushes. How he didn't see him on me I will never know. Maybe he did. He might have known all this.

I was sure I'd pissed myself and saw a LONG trail of wetness down my left leg soaking the pantyhose. “I pissed myself.”

“You didn't piss yourself.” Bill assured me. “Stop saying that.”

My memories started to come back as the night wore on. Maybe I'd stopped drinking. That didn't make sense since I kept sipping Bill's Heineken. I pretty much came too with a throbbing headache around I want to say 130 in the morning. We were sitting at a bar. I was in Bill's lap and we were alternating between kissing, smoking and drinking a beer. Sharing the smoke and the beer.

We were in a 'heated' debate about how to categorize this night. I was admitting it was fun. Bill insisted it was a second date. The bartender was interjecting asking whether we came together. I told him we hadn't but 'met' at the wedding. The guy asked how it could be a SECOND date then. Thanks detective. Just pour drinks.

At some point and I don't know when Bunz stumbled in looking drunker than even us. He wrote and has said that he came up to us talking close or something. No. Let me make this clear. I was sitting on the same stool as Bill in the middle of his lap. I could feel his fucking erection in my asscrack. We HAD to have been caught making out only seconds before he walked up the stairs. I expected to say something. Expected to end up walking away with Bill. This is it I thought.

Nope. Bunz didn't say shit. He barely could keep his eyes open. He asked if people were still partying. He sat right at the bar with us in the hotel lobby as I was in Bill's lap sharing a smoke. The bartender said last call. No one else was in that bar. Bunz ordered a round. I said Bill and I will just have a beer together. We would share a Heineken.

Here is the truth. This is the night I think we realized Bunz was sort of a freak and a later a cuckold. He asked if we wanted something acting like I wasn't in his buddies fucking lap. I felt pity but also shame for him. This was kind of sad. We were being assholes but DO something Bunz. Bill's arm was around my waist for Christ sake. I didn't stop sharing a cig with Bill. I was with HIM in that drunken sloppy moment in my mind. I legit was thinking that in my head.

If you want to know how I really felt I was mad at Bunz. He'd left me alone ONCE again. I had a good apparently NUTTY night with Bill and I was having fun. I was legit thinking in my head 'what the hell are you doing here Bunz'. I wanted him to go away. During awkward pauses where Bill and I passed the smoke I thought about being mean and saying 'can I fucking help you' to Bunz. BEAT IT (LOL).

Eventually I had to pee and just stood up and sort of waddled to the bathroom.

I found the bathroom and sat to piss. I then realized that this shit down my leg wasn't piss. It didn't smell and now it was sticky. I had to basically peel off the pantyhose down my ass and then my panties. I saw the caked dried mess. It was cum or squirt or honey or what have you. The dream of Bill fingering me wasn't a dream at all. He'd fingered me at the fucking bar and I let him.

I pissed and went back out. I walked right back to Bill and sat in his lap and lit a smoke and began to share it and take sips of Bill's drink. I expected Bunz to slug Bill or the other way around. I expected some sort of fight. Maybe some finality to this. Whose room would I be going back to?

This is the moment I wonder if Bunz was either in on it or wanted it or let it happen. I can excuse him walking up and seeing me on Bill's lap (sort of). Me going back and sitting RIGHT BACK in Bill's lap was more than a mistake or an accident. That was basically a challenge. An experiment. Do something Bunz. Bill's arms are around my waist and I'm in his lap.

He didn't. Thinking back I wasn't going back into Bill's lap to challenge Bunz. It's WHERE I wanted to be. I did kinda think Bunz was pathetic in that moment. I did. It sucks. I want to say that I wanted Bunz to man up and fight for me. That was long since past though. In that moment if I'm being honest I wanted him GONE. I just thought he was intruding on OUR fun. This wasn't his night. He hadn't been there at all. Bunz was legits a third-wheel on me and Bill's night. It kinda pissed me the fuck off.

Bunz's head was low and almost on the table. The two of them talked about fucking a FOOTBALL FUCKING DRAFT. It was enraging to me he wasn't addressing it. I legit leaned into Bill at one point in my drunken stupidity and whispered something I SHOULD NOT HAVE. Four words that are more heavy with innuendo than ANYTHING without being vulgar. “Do you have condoms?” The question is so loaded its not even funny. I said it softly but Bunz wasn't that far away. I don't know why I said that looking back. I REALLY did not want to have sex with Bill then. I think it was a challenge to Bunz? I don't even think he could hear. His head was down. I'm pretty shitty I guess.

The only time any girl ever asks 'do you have condoms' is five minutes before sex. Legit the only time.

I guess that is such a bitchy move. It really was. I suck. I know. Bill told me he didn't have any nd that he said that already which didn't make sense. I think I LEGIT yelled “HOW DO YOU NOT HAVE CONDOMS!” I mean for real. How do you not have condoms ALWAYS as a young guy. I guess I'd made my choice about what room I was going to. Bill was again too dumb to figure out the way to figure things out. Does that make sense?

Bunz didn't do shit. In his defense his head was on the table. Poor Bunz. Bad me. Bitchy slutty whore. I was pushing this too far myself. It wasn't just Bill.

It got really late and the bartender said we had to take our 'friend' to bed. Bill and I helped Bunz up the elevator and then into the room and flopped him BACK on the bed. Bill was pulling me to come out the door with him. I couldn't. It was time to stop this. There was a small hallway to the door with a little kitchen space and bathroom. Bunz's feet on the bed were all I could see.

I walked Bill to the door and apologized for having to stay with Bunz. That didn't stop me from grabbing his chin thanking Bill for the night and making out with him right at the door. Then I closed it and went back to Bunz. I felt horrible but also mad at Bunz. I got into bed and told Bunz he had to stop leaving me alone with Bill if he didn't want shit to happen. Bunz said 'ok'.

The next day Bunz didn't remember shit and we left (or he didn't mention it). I was worried the bride and groom had seen something. Years later I was told by Bill that the groom's brother had watched me and Bill make out and dance at a bar and Bill fingered me. I was now the girl Bill fingered at the bar that one wedding.

I did really sucky shit at that wedding. Bunz knows now but he didn't then. He wasn't overly mean to me so he didn't deserve all that.

Still...it was kinda fun. Sorry Bunz...not sorry (but kinda).