Order now: Meet her at her work

“Thank you for your order,” says the automated voice over the telephone. “A meeting place has been arranged to your specifications. Please proceed to this location...”

You arrive at a club called the Magic Hat that night. The audience is packed, way beyond their normal capacity, but the manager saved a spot for you. As soon as you're seated he gets on stage in front of the curtain.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight we have a guest so incredible, so legendary, most people didn't even believe she was real! But through arts so arcane they can not be repeated, we've brought her here for you tonight. Presenting the incredible... Zatanna!”

The curtain rises and the crowd goes nuts, especially the men. Zatanna is leaning against a marble pillar, one of her fishnet clad legs propped up on a stool. She pulls off her top hat and takes out a rabbit, then drops it on the stage and takes out another. Then another and another and another. Soon the entire stage is filled with hopping bunnies, somehow multiplying much faster than she's pulling them out. Finally she puts the hat back on her head, adjusts her tuxedo jacket, and says, “Trats eht wohs!”

The rabbits transform into doves. The doves fly out over the audience, then turn into flowers that float into everyone's laps. The crowd goes wild.

The show continues with great feat after great feat, wowing the audience. When it finishes the manager escorts you backstage. He knocks on Zatanna's door, then leaves you there without a word.

“Come on!”

You go inside and close the door behind you. Zatanna is waiting there with her arms crossed and a sly grin.

“You must be the male prostitute I ordered,” she says.

“I-”

“tuhs pu.”

Your voice goes out. There's no pain, you can breathe just fine, you just can't talk.

“If I wanted to sleep with someone who had his own opinion, I could have gone to a bar.” Zatanna moves in close as she runs a hand through her long, midnight black hair. “I didn't go to a bar, I hired you, so I'm running the show. Am I going to have to restrain you?”