Opponent is dealt a card

{if Opponent: Flowers = True}{if Opponent's Pile = 3}"A truly talented engineer can make something out of nothing! So even if you deal me the wooooorst card in the world, I'll still be happy, ha ha ha ha!" Flowers giggled to herself, swinging her head back and forth to some unheard music while kicking her feet up and down in her seat.

"That's a great way to look at it. Sometimes, the game is fun, regardless of the results," Robin agreed as she flipped a card.

"Right! Just like a battle is fun just cause you get to burn everything!"{elseif Opponent's Pile = 2}"Oooo, come on, I need better cards this time. Why can't you just deal me a twenty-one card right from the start?" Flowers pouted, watching the cards turn up with laser focus but without the 52-card deck knowledge to accompany it.

"Ahem, I'll consider that if I revise the rules of Blackjack a second time," Robin coughed.

"You should also add a super powerful Flowers card, I think. Or a whole Flowers suit! How about you just throw the whole thing out and make it a collectible card game with aaaall the Soldiers of Fortune, that's cooler anyway!"{elseif Opponent's Pile = 1}Flowers looked between the cards on the table, then Robin's face, then gulped. A bead of sweat rolled down from her shaggy hair to her chin. "Ooooh... Let me try to guess what it's going to be... Don't show it yet, don't show it yet! It's gonna to beeeeeee, um... Bishop!" she shouted, pointing one finger forward.

"That's a chess piece," Robin sighed.

"Then it's gonna beeeee... a Joker!"

"I took all the Jokers out."

"Whyyyyy?! Jokers are fun!"{endif}{endif}{if Opponent: Bugs = True}{if Opponent's Pile = 4}Bugs watched the card hit down on the table with a big grin on her face, static, but not vacant... expectant, rather. "Say Redd. You treat all your customers the same? Or ya gonna pick a special card just for me?" she questioned, turning her eyes from the table to the dealer.

"Oh, no need to worry! Everything out here is above the table. I assure you, the card you receive is as random as a fifty-two card deck allows," Robin responded, then winked. "Unless it's a good card. Then it's me being nice."

She shifted her significant weight from leg to leg. "He he he... I like you... I can't wait to show you me being nice."{elseif Opponent's Pile = 3}Bugs let her charcoal eyes travel down to the cards slapping against the table, watching them passively. "This feel real to you, Red? Playin' cards in the middle of the desert against a woman like me, winnin' a tank off me?" she asked, now looking back up to the dealer's face.

"Are you telling me this is some kind of dream?" Robin questioned.

"Nah, Redd. I'm remindin' you that this ain't no dream. So you better think real hard and careful how you treat me as a dealer, heh heh." She folded her arms beneath her chest and grinned across the table. "Keep me happy like you would all your other customers."

"Are you happy so far?"

"Very. Just so you know, I ain't treatin' you the way I typically treat people on the other end of a table from me, heh heh."

"Maybe there's a lesson in there about how pleasant your time with others can be when you treat them nicely, then?"

"Oh, Redd, we ain't to the pleasant part yet."{elseif Opponent's Pile =2}Bugs gave a big grin and spread her hands out to either side. "This the kind of opponent you pictured takin' on when you started traveling the world? Big motherfucker like me with a grip as big as that skinny waist of yours, droolin' all over your table?" she questioned, her curiosity as persistent as ever.

"Well... it is a nice surprise," Robin giggled. "I like women of all shapes."

"A woman after me own heart."

"But why are you drooling all the time, if I may ask?"

"Can't help it. When I see somethin' I like, I starts salivatin'," Bugs responded, her grin showing a bit of her gums now as she wiped away another trail of drool with the back of her hand. "When somebody puts a pretty dessert in front of you, don't you drool a lil'?"

"How... flattering!"{elseif Opponent's Pile = 1}Bugs's body shook all over with laughter as she regarded Robin's face. "Can you even count up the cards like that? With your eyes on me tits half the time? This is supposed to be your game, Redd, but you ain't played strip blackjack too many times before, have ya?" she questioned. "What am I, your second opponent ever? You're raw!'

"If I'm so raw, why are you standing there in just that little thong, huh?" Robin teased back, shuffling the deck with a roguish grin on her face.

"Hey, if it's your second match, it's just my first, mate," Bugs grumbled, scratching the side of her cheek with one finger and looking a bit sulky.

"Then let's make it one we both remember!" Robin encouraged Bugs, before flipping her card.{endif}{endif}{if Opponent: Fortuna = True}{if Opponent's Pile = 5}Robin placed one hand upon the deck to turn up the first card and held it there with a meaningful pause. In the case of the over-chatty Flowers or the inquisitive Bugs, this would be the time where they interject with some sort of crazy mercenary banter. Half of Robin's job to this point had been making back-and-forth conversation with lunatics.

In Fortuna's case, she stood silent-- at least until she noticed the pause. As soon as she did, she drew up her lower lip distastefully and narrowed her eyes. "What? Am I supposed to say 'hit me' or something?" she questioned, then crossed her arms beneath her chest. "Ugh. I don't have time for frivolities. Just flip the blasted card already."

"Ha ha, of course. You're a busy woman, after all," Robin laughed awkwardly.

"... Are you making fun of me? I am a busy woman!"

Robin suddenly felt very much like she was back at the Hard Luck-- this one had the stuck-up attitude of a customer who doesn't see the dealer across the table from them as a human being. Then again, Robin was getting the sense Fortuna treated everyone this way, not just her.{elseif Opponent's Pile = 4}Robin flipped another card, watching with interest at how closely Fortuna's eyes were following the movements of the dealer's hands. It seemed like the boss losing half her accumulated wealth had flipped her switch from arrogant to a little more cautious. "Please, relax. The game will be more fun for both of us if you aren't wound up so tight!" Robin giggled.

Fortuna offered the opposite of a giggle-- a frustrated snarl. "The game will be fun for me when I'm throwing you to my lions-- undressed, naked, like a side of raw meat!" she spat back.

"You're wound as tight as that whip, I get it," Robin replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "If you don't need my advice, then we'll stick to my service. How's this card strike you?"{elseif Opponent's Pile = 3}"Twice, Red... Twice you've humiliated me. If I even see the shadow of a fucking card slipping out of anywhere but that deck, I am going to have Bugs give you a full cavity search to make sure you don't have any hiding anywhere else!" Fortuna ranted, twisting her whip furiously between her hands.

"Really? Why couldn't you handle that part yourself? Don't tell me you're not interested?" Robin joked, giving a flirtatious wink.

Fortuna paused for a moment, blinked, then snarled. "... It's not about whether I'm interested, you fool! I am a leader! I do not stick my hands in the unmentionable places of card dealers, I leave that to my underlings! My underlings who have very, very large and eager hands, I will remind you, hm hm hm." She regained a bit of her old smirk. "Go on. Show me what I'm working with."{elseif Opponent's Pile = 2}"Happy thoughts, happy thoughts... An ace and a ten... two tens and then a one... three sevens!" Fortuna prayed, rubbing her hands together in desperation. "I put together the strongest mercenaries into one cohesive group, surely I can put together one little poker hand!"

"Blackjack, not poker, ha ha ha-"

"Robin, I swear, I'm going to punch you right in the teeth if you test me right now! Do not test me!" Fortuna shuddered, clenching and unclenching her fists.

"Okay, okay! Geez..."{elseif Opponent's Pile = 1}With her mouth dry and her forehead damp with sweat, Fortuna leaned over and spoke to the cards directly. "I-I am the leader of the Soldiers of Fortune, modern day warriors, the fiercest squadron of killers in the entire world! You will not bust me! If you come for me, you come for my entire crew! I will have Flowers burn you into tiny little cinders!" she threatened the playing card.

Robin gave the card a gentle little stroke with two fingers. "There, there. I won't let anything happen to you, sweetie."

"Don't listen to her, listen to me! I-I will... I will ball you up and I will eat you! Is that what you want?! I'll do it!" she hissed, then clasped her hands together under her chin with watery eyes. "I-I didn't mean it. I'll be your best friend. I'll do whatever you ask, just do not bust me, I'm begging you!"

"Careful. You keep promising 'I'll do whatever you ask' and someone's going to call you on it one of these days," Robin giggled.{endif}{endif}{if Opponent: Smith = True}{if Opponent's Pile = 3}The two ladies sat across from one another at the big newscasting desk with the unlit green screen as a backdrop, watching Robin handle the cards. Smith's glare pierced through Robin, making her seem every bit as hostile as the mercenaries from her last challenge.

Robin decided she'd try to ease the mood. "You know, those are very cute pigtails-"

"You think it's weird, huh? Me wearing pigtails in scrunchies when I'm this age?" Smith interrupted in a growling voice. She narrowed her eyes further and switched her cigarette to the other side of her mouth.

"I didn't say that..."

"Look, I wore them this way when I started out. Then soon after, I found changing my hairstyle in any way made Lyra forget even my last name. That's why I've kept wearing them this way even into my thirties," she cupped her hands to her mouth and gave another big puff of smoke across the desk. "Just lay the card down already, alright? Something tells me it's going to suck. Like everything else in my miserable life."

Robin gulped, feeling her own mood being dragged down in real time. "Cheer up! Maybe it will be a really nice one! Luck can turn around in the blink of an eye!"{elseif Opponent's Pile = 2}"I can't believe I'm playing cards in my fucking underwear. I'll really do anything to get out of work, huh?" Smith laughed in disbelief, staring down at her bra and panty set. "If I'd known this was going to happen, I would have dressed up nicer."

"If you dressed up more nicely, you'd just lose more expensive clothing to me when I win!" Robin taunted, pulling a card from the deck and passing it over face-down, held under two fingers.

"... I was just joking anyway. These are the best clothes I own," Smith sighed, seeming to deflate.

Robin found herself seriously considering whether or not she really wanted to deprive Smith of the so-called 'best clothes she owned,' but decided it was still a necessary step towards getting to the higher karmic counters awaiting her at BIT. "I think they look nice! Not a single coffee stain on them!"

"I'm not normally playing cards in my underwear..." Smith retorted, rolling her eyes. "They tend to be under the rest of my clothes, smart ass."{elseif Opponent's Pile = 1}Smith let Robin turn over her cards for her as the dealer slid cards prepared a hand for her. Keeping her huge breasts wrapped up for decency's sake was a full time job for her skinny arms. "This ain't exactly the easiest way to play cards," Smith pointed out, still a little red-faced.

"You're telling me, ha ha ha. Imagine if you had to do the dealing!" Robin retorted.

"No thanks... Shit! I can't smoke a cigarette like this either!" she growled, contorting her neck a bit to try to get the tip back into her mouth while keeping her hands over her breasts.

"Please, please don't burn those beautiful breasts of yours!" Robin begged.

"What'd you say?" Smith asked, raising an eyebrow.

"... I was only asking you to be mindful of where you stick that cigarette!" Robin reiterated, biting her lip and trying not to stare too obviously across the table at her opponent's tits.{endif}{endif}{if Opponent: Lyra = True}{if Opponent's Pile = 4}Lyra watched the cards as they fluttered from hand to hand in Robin's fancy display of shuffling. Predictably, she wasn't an easy woman to impress. The BIT news manager flicked one thumb across her phone, seeming more interested in keeping up with her day-to-day than she was in the card game. "Honey, I hope that the amount of time you waste shuffling those cards isn't indicative of how much time you're going to waste as a BIT employee. I'll whip that out of you faster than you can blink," she chuckled, giving a mean-spirited smile as her eyes watched the phone screen.

"Perhaps I'll be the one to whip a love of the game into you instead," Robin offered. "It's pretty rude to play on your phone while you're at the blackjack table."

"You don't get to talk about rude after waltzing in here like you owned the place. You also gave me a fake resume to secure that interview, didn't you? Total disrespect for my time!" Lyra rolled her eyes. "I swear, you're lucky you've got those tits going for you. That's half the battle to getting on TV here. Of course, if that was the whole battle, the intern would have made her own TV debut. The other half is having the right attitude."

"You don't think Smith has the attitude of a hard worker? It sounds like she's devoted her whole life to it," the dealer noted, giving an annoyed glare across the table that Lyra continued to ignore.

"No, babe. I don't think she had the right attitude when she was hired and I don't think she's got the right attitude now, with that creepy smile plastered on her face! Honestly, I didn't think her face could get any worse," Smith sighed. "Now are you going to pass me a card or am I going to have to start charging you for air time? It's expensive."{elseif Opponent's Pile = 3}{elseif Opponent's Pile = 2}{elseif Opponent's Pile = 1}{endif}{endif}

Robin passes one card across the table.

The player is dealt: {if Random Card = 13}King!{elseif Random Card = 12}Queen!{elseif Random Card = 11}Jack!{elseif@ Random Card > 1}{Random Card}!{elseif Random Card = 1}Ace!{endif}