Opening the Dating Apps

Caleb pulls out his phone and goes over to one of the dating apps, thinking maybe his choice list has refreshed by now when he spies a weird banner ad that expands to cover the first profile picture when he clicked the X to close it.

“What the fuck is this, I thought I had AdAway turned on? Hang on, wait a minute…this can't be real, can it?”

The large picture showed a generic happy young couple snuggled up on a park bench in Autumn.

HOPE FULFILLED INDUSTRIES IN COLLABORATION WITH ETHICORP TECHNOLOGIES PRESENTS AN AMAZING NEW PRODUCT: INSTANT GIRLFRIEND!

CAN'T SEEM TO GET A DATE?

DATING APPS SEEM LIKE A MINEFIELD OF AWKWARDNESS?

ARE YOU LONELY?

MISS THE COMFORT OF A LOVED ONE AT NIGHT?

WELL WITH HFI’S INSTANT GIRLFRIEND™️ NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN!

WITH OUR PATENT PENDING PROCESS YOU’LL HAVE A LOVING CARING GIRLFRIEND IN NO TIME!

CURRENTLY ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR OUR CLOSED BETA TESTING*

JOIN THE HFI FAMILY TODAY!

*Limit one application per household. HFI reserves the right to deny coverage at anytime

At the bottom of the ad was a large blinking APPLY NOW! button.

“Well hell, that's suspiciously timed. Way to confirm yer listening to us, phone. Ah, why not, eh? Worst case scenario, it's a scam and nothing shows up.”

Caleb pushed the button and was taken to a site where he had to fill out several forms, non-disclosure agreements, and mental health surveys. At the end of the blizzard of bureaucracy, he paid the 50$ application fee and was promised the product would be drop-shipped in three days.

“Alright, time to get this shit sorted and head to bed. Hopefully, this weird thing works and we can get Evan his date.”

He grabbed the cooler, set it in the kitchen, grabbed a glass of water, then headed up the stairs to shower and bed.