Of course I do. Who wouldn't?

You take a moment to try and work this out.

Your sister.

Is offering to give you kisses. (deep, soulful kisses - WITH TONGUE!!!)

In exchange for...

... doing her laundry.

This can't be real, can it? Her sexy, dainty, flirty, lacy laundry. The underwear and clothes she's been wearing all day long, deep and rich with the smells of her body. The same laundry that you would normally have to sneak into the bathroom and pull from the hamper so you could kneel and plunge your face into them so you could smell them and feel all over your face, all that nylon and satin and lace...

Oh god.... oh god.

"Uh, sure," you agree, trying to be nonchalant about it. "I guess. Your kisses are really nice."

[Mission accomplished, Dawn thinks to herself, delighted.]

"AMAZING!" Dawnie squeals, delighted. She pulls you into a BIG hug pressing her knee between your legs. "I can't believe you just agreed to be my panty maid!"

"Woah, wait a second, PANTY MAID?" you gasp.

"Well, you did just agree to all my laundry, didn't you?"

"Yes, but--"

"And that includes my PANTIES, doesn't it?"

"Well of course, but--"

"And what sort of person - what occupation picks up and does laundry for someone else? Don't MAIDs do that sort of work? Hmmm?"

"Well, yes, maids do that sort of work, but I'm not--"

"So then! That makes you my PANTY MAID. Paul, the Panty Maid!"

"No stop! I don't want to be called a panty maid! I am not a panty maid!"

But the more you protest, the more you realize you've lost. You should have realized that Dawn had something up her sleeve - that it couldn't be just laundry for kisses, but that there had to be some other humiliation in it - because that's just how she is. Always getting you into sticky, humiliating situations.

"Panty Maid Paul," she says, grinning, then giving you a kiss. "I expect my room to be all picked up and my laundry to be washed tomorrow. Do you hear?"

"Yes, Ma'am," you say, getting into the role.

Fuck you're hard. Why are you so hard? You just agreed to be your SISTER's laundry panty maid!

Are you so perverted that that actually makes you HARD? Isn't that completely ABNORMAL and DISGUSTING?

Eventually Dawn settles down and you have a semi-normal conversation about what it was like at college and that NO you didn't have any dates and NO you don't have a girlfriend and that NO you haven't declared a major yet - because you really have no idea what to do with your life.

"Well, I'm going to finish the level before dinner," she says, hopping up and pushing you out of her bedroom. "I'm so glad I have a PANTY MAID."

"I'm not your panty maid!" you say.

"You are to me!"

As you leave, you turn back to see Dawn un-pausing the video game, and you are finally able to read her T-shirt.

It says "Daddy's Little Girl".

What the fuck?