Of course, you're after all

I find the application section of the website and start filling in all the requested details, its mostly basic stuff like name, age, address, contact details and things like that. You give them your name John Doe and hit submit, it then pops up with a terms and conditions page, telling me all the usual legal jargon which I just scroll past but one part does catch my eye saying that by accepting these conditions I agree that I can not press charges against AYMEcorp for any permanent changes caused by the show. That's probably just something every show has to put to cover themselves so I click agree and the application is sent.

The next day I get an email 'Congratulations John Doe , you've been chosen as one of the lucky contestants for the first season of Are You Man Enough USA. Please arrive at AYME studios one week from when you receive this email at 10am and provide the receptionist with your contestant number which is 526815763. You will then be taken back stage and sign a contract confirming you agree to the terms and conditions from the application along with a few other conditions relating to the show and giving us permission to act on any punishments you may receive. Congratulations once again and best of luck on the show, Best Regards AYMEcorp'. YES! I can't believe how quickly they got back to me but who cares about that, my luck must finally be changing, now there's no way I'm walking away from this without winning the grand prize.

A week later and I show up to the studio ready to win it all, heading over to the receptionist I show her my contestant number and get taken backstage where they handed me the contract mentioned in the email. I decide this is a little more important that the terms and conditions and read through it a little more thoroughly. I focus on the conditions for the games and punishments that the email talked about and they start to make me a little worried about what this game is going to do.

'You agree that AYMEcrop can make any changes to your property and belongings relating to any punishments you receive during the show'

'You agree that AYMEcrop can make any changes to your body relating to any punishments you receive during the show'

'You agree to participate in a where are they now shoulder content piece for a future episode of Are You Man Enough one year from the date this contract is signed'

'Breaking any of these conditions will result in a financial fine of $10,000'

The second last one seems normal but the first two makes me wonder what the punishments could be if only I read more about the show on the website before I applied. I'm short on options though so I sign the contract, I'm already here so there's no point in backing out before trying any of the challenges. "Great" the receptionist says "Since you are the first contestant for the day we can head straight through to the main studio, our host Jackie will explain all the rules of the show again in case you aren't clear on anything, although I'm sure you've read all you'll need to now before you applied the explanation is more for the audience. The show isn't live so we can censor things as we need but please try not to go to far with the profanity since it makes our lives that much harder. Just head through this door when the light up there turns pink and do your best, good luck". And with that she returns to her desk out front, presumable to wait for the rest of todays contestants which will be on after me. Suddenly the light turns pink signalling for me to head on stage. Well this is it.

I walk through that door and immediately hear a round of thunderous applause from the crowd, as I walk over to the centre of the stage the host starts to introduce herself and then me "Greetings everyone and welcome tot he first episode of Are You Man Enough USA, my name is Jackie and I'll be your lovely host for tonight's entertainment. Now would you please give a warm welcome the our first ever contestant John Doe ". I wave nervously at the audience and cameras as they all cheer. "So John how about you tell us all a little about yourself, for starters what made you want to come on the show?" Jackie asks, "It's a little embarrassing to admit but I'm having some money troubles lately and this seemed like an easy way to earn a lot quickly" I replay. The crowd once again cheers as Jackie says "Them's fighting words if I've ever hear them you ready to back that up" you laugh and try to put on a bit of a show "You bet, I'm here to win that grand prize and I wont settle for less". "That's what I like to hear, now then let me explain the rules for the show for all our first time watches in the US. Our contestant John here will be faced with 9 challenges that **** him to throw away is manly pride, the more he completes the more money he earns, simple right?.. Wrong. The catch is that before he takes on any task he'll have the option to walk away with everything he's earned so far however once he accepts a challenge its all or nothing, but if he fails a challenge its not just money he'll lose. Each challenge has it's own unique punishment to go along with it that we'll also explain before he accepts the challenge. The prize money earned increases as the challenges go on going from $100 for the first, then £500, £1,000, $5,000, $10,000, $50,000, $100,000, $500,000 all the way up to our grand prize where if he can make it past all nine rounds he walks away $1,000,000 richer". She pauses for the crowds reaction "Woooooo!!" then continues "But if he loses he leaves with nothing but the effects of our punishments, some of which last a lot longer that he'd like, as the game goes on the risks get even higher as if you lose in the later rounds you have to face the punishments from all the previous rounds". It's a little shocking how **** some of the rules turned out to be but I guess it is $1,000,000 I'm competing for, maybe not looking into this ahead of time was a mistake, but I can't back down, not if I want that prize money.

"Now then" Jackie starts to explain your first challenge "our first challenge of the evening is called a mile in her shoes, John , you will have to put on a pair of stiletto high heel shoes and then complete our obstacle course, you'll first have to go up a flight of stairs, then try to not miss a step across the stepping stones, next is a test of balance on the seesaw balance beams and finally back down a flight of stairs to hit the buzzer. All of this and you only have a 10 minute time limit, if you fall over at any point or touch the floor you have to run back to the start and go from the beginning. If you win you secure the first prize of $100 and will have to wear the heels for the rest of your time on the show however, if you fail you leave with nothing but that's not all, because of the contract you signed before the start of the show we will also be replacing all of your shoes at home with high heels which you'll not be able to replace until after our catch-up episode next year. So John Are You Man Enough to take the challenge?"