Of Gods, Gardens and Girls

Mesopotamia, the proposed location of the Garden of Eden, as it turned out, was the actual location of the Garden of Eden.

“By the Gods” you hear from behind you as the legionnaires you brought with you exit the portal you had created. The funny thing about the place you have found yourself, it was a mythological place and thus inaccessible to most mortals without a god’s interference.

“Is this the birthplace of humanity?” another Legionnaire asked.

“Perhaps, perhaps not” you say, the place was pretty, that’s for sure. It was a valley with tall mountains on either side and a river running right down the middle. Trees, plants, and animals a plenty covered the terrain between the mountains and the river. “Personally I don’t see two humans starting humanity” you comment “that would mean that Cain and Abel did their own mother for more children, or Adam and Eve had a couple of daughters after them to marry with” you add and there are cringes all round.

“Your orders?” Strabo asked, coming up beside you. You had told him he didn’t need to come, but apparently he wasn’t going to sit idly by while a hundred of his best marched into a divine site and battled gods.

“This is the only way in or out” you say as your eyes fall on a walled off section of the valley. “Hold it” you order before turning to Strabo. You hand the grizzled veteran an amulet in the shape of a cylinder. “Pull this tab out, twist it and then push it back in” you instruct as he takes the amulet. “It will open a portal to a place where you will be safe” you say.

“Incase we are overrun or if we encounter . . . the enemy?” Strabo asked.

“Yes” you answer before starting the trek to the walled off section.

“Are you sure this information is reliable?” Andraste asked as she joined you.

“I believe I can trust Azrael” you reply “She did, after all, allow me to take her powers away” you add.

“As Artemis puts it, that is more reason not to trust her” Andraste told you. “And you’ve only brought me along, I feel as though she has baited us into a trap” Andraste added.

“You’re here because I’m not that cocky” you tell the woman “I’m sure of my power, but anything could happen” you add “even I can be overwhelmed by numbers” you finish.

After entering the walled off section of the valley, you and Andraste walked passed row after row of flowers before finally coming to a bench in the middle of a grassy field right in the center of the garden. There, sat a woman. The woman was wearing nothing but a thick mane of flaxen hair that she was absently stroking with a brush, a catatonic look in her eye.

You walked up to the woman and clicked your fingers in front of her face a few times before sighing heavily and turning to Andraste.

“I think we are too late” you mutter quietly before hearing a startled ‘oh’ from behind you. You whirl around and see the woman having paused mid-brush and staring at you with wide eyes.

“You shouldn’t be here” the woman said, her voice barely a whisper.

“Neither should you” you state calmly.

“He . . . He will know you are here” the woman says, eyes slipping from you and down to the grass.

“I know” you tell the woman “You are Ishtar correct?” you ask and the woman jerked before slowly shifting her gaze back to you.

“Ishtar?” the woman asked “my name?” she asked “I am Ishtar” she muttered “Ishtar” she muttered again “ISHTAR!!!” the woman roared, springing to her feet with a new light behind her eyes.

“We’re here to rescue you, I’m Solus, god of the sun, and this is Andraste, goddess of victory” you gesture over to the girl in question as you introduce her. Ishtar turned to look at you, breathing heavily as she rested a hand on her hip. This gave you a good look at the woman’s body. Nice, healthy boobs of a decent size, just begging to be groped. Creamy skin that gives you the notion she’d happily spend all day in the sheets. Wide hips and meaty thighs. The woman looked like one of those ancient paintings of a love goddess and definitely not the modern appeal of sexuality. Did this change the fact that she’d be able to get laid anytime she wanted, even in a celebate monastery? Absolutely not, she was a goddess of sex and desire and it showed.

“Are you done ogling me?” Ishtar asked, a smirk on her face.

“Yes actually, I just finished” you reply, dragging your eyes back up to meet Ishtar’s.

“Done a bit soon don’t you think?” the woman quipped, causing you to chuckle.

“When we get out of here, I’ll show you how long I can go for” you tell the woman.

“Don’t do it! He can go indefinitely!” Andraste blurted out before catching herself and scowling, turning around in a huff.

“Oh? Kitty already had a taste?” Ishtar asked, making to stalk up on Andraste. Before she could however, you grabbed her shoulder.

“Bunny and I think that’s enough banter for now, we need to leave” you say before conjuring a dress and throwing it at Ishtar.

“Right, he’ll have sent someone by now” Ishtar commented

“Correction, he already has” Andraste said and you turn around to get a face full of Mars.

“You will not escape this time heathen” Mars rumbled.

“If I recall correctly, you are the one who fled before” you quip, drawing your sword as Mars did the same.

“Don’t suppose you’ll let me have this one?” Andraste asked as she brought her spear up into a fighting stance.

“I’d rather you deal with the mooks he brought with him” you say “Someone’s gotta do it, and Ishtar’s unarmed” you add. Andraste gave a very uncharacteristic growl before bunny hopping in front of one of the angels that had fluttered in after Mars and skewering the poor creature.

With that distraction, Mars lunged at you, his sword gleaming in the sunlight. You reacted with god-tier reflexes and parried the blow before following by flicking your wrist and turning the parry into a downstroke. Mars managed to just get out of the way in time, your blade leaving a rent in his golden armour but no more.

You thought about giving Mars a good sword fight, but you had more important matters to deal with. At any moment He could arrive and mess things up. Instead, you grabbed your more or less ultimate power and paused time. The world stopped just long enough for you to lop off Mars’ sword hand. When the world restarted again. Mars grunted in pain but otherwise didn’t react, dropping into a crouch and grabbing his sword with his other hand. With this distraction, you turned your godly power down onto Mars and took a look to see if you could break His control. The answer was an emphatic no.

You parried a blow from Mars while you contemplated exactly how you are going to deal with this. You aren’t leaving here without two gods. It was then that a thought struck you, He was only controlling Mar’s body and mind, not his soul. With this thought in mind, you dig into Elder Scrolls lore and conjure a black soul gem before soul trapping Mars. The man backed up a few steps as your power washed over him, looking for any additional injury or damage before lunging at you once more. Unlike in Elder Scrolls games, you didn’t have to kill your victim to suck his soul out, so you just sucked it out.

Mars screamed as an apparition of himself was yanked out of his body and absorbed into the soul gem. With his soul gone, the body tried to fight you for a little longer only to finally collapse and die.

“I-is he dead?” Andraste asked, a stutter in her voice as she approached you.

“Nope” you say “Artemis wanted me to rescue Mars, and hopefully I have done just that” you say. You have no idea how memories carried over into the soul but hopefully he’d be all there when you resurrect him later.

“Ahh, that’s why you wanted to fight him” Andraste commented and you give the bunny a grin.

“Can’t have you killing my wife’s former lover, especially when she still kinda, sorta pines after him” you say.

“Don’t let her hear you say that” Andraste replied, snorting in amusement.

“You’re married!?!” Ishtar exclaimed from behind you.

“Yes, but I’m a big fan of free love so . . . not much of an issue” you reply, giving the woman a look.

“Oh, that’s alright then, worried I’d have competition” Ishtar muttered before smoothing out her dress and making to leave.

“Why does everything have to be turquoise with you?” Andraste asked as she noticed Ishtar’s new dress.

“Everyone’s gotta have a favourite colour” you reply. Andraste blinked a few times in response.

“Turquoise?” she asked, surprised. You just merely shrug and follow after Ishtar.