Of Coffee and Kings

Hobnailed Roman boots clacked on the marble floor as you and Ishtar are led towards a throne. Upon this throne is seated the Shahanshah of the Sasanian Empire, also known as the Sassanid Empire or the Persian Empire.

“Why have you come?” Asked the Shah. He was dressed in rich robes, as was expected of him, and had a treacherous air to him. You suppose this was to be expected of a man who’d **** his own kindhearted brother for the throne.

“I come in the hope of getting a trade agreement” you reply, stopping some distance from the throne. The Shah snorted and leaned back into his throne as he gave you a dismissive look.

“And what could the master of a single city offer to Me? The great ruler of Persia?” the Shah asked derisively. You smile at his response, and he, apparently seeing something in your smile, lost his look of mirth.

“You scoff, and yet you gave this audience” you say politely “To the master of a single city” you add, your smile widening. The Shah clenched his jaw and swallowed uncomfortably as he straightened up in his throne. “But you are quite right, I am here to offer something you do not possess yet” You say. You snap your fingers and two people behind you rush forward with a brazier. The people weren’t real, they were servants you created in order to do this, but still, the Persians didn’t need to know that.

You looked around at the crowd for a moment and then snapped your fingers again causing the brazier to burst into golden flames. Gasps echoed around the room as nobles, courtiers and guards alike witnessed your magics first hand. You grin at the response before turning your eyes back to the Shah who gulped subtly.

With the fire now roaring, your faux servants hung a pot of water over the flames, pouring in a dark coloured powder.

“This” you say, waving your hand at the pot “Is called coffee” you say. “It is a seed extracted from the berry produced by a specific tree” you explain. “It has some minor magical properties which grant strength and vigor, albeit temporarily to those that consume it” You continue. “The drink, unaltered, is bitter and strong ,but it can be altered with things such as milk, honey and sugar.” you say, turning back to the pot and turning down the temperature on the flames so that the water didn’t come to the boil. Once the beverage was ready, you took out a small bowl and dunked it into the coffee. You took a sip and noted it was just as bitter as you expected it to be. You let out a sigh as the caffeine hit you and then snapped your eyes open, turning your attention to the Shah on his throne. You then hand the bowl to Ishtar who sauntered forward and proffered the cup to the Shah on his throne. The man, for his part, looked down at Ishtar for a moment before taking the bowl and taking a sip.

“It, it is indeed bitter,” The Shah commented, handing the cup back. You grin and send forward one of your faux servants who had a small amphora in their hands. The servant took the clay stopper out of the top, and then poured a thick, creamy substance into the bowl of coffee, stirring it a little with a wooden stirring stick. Ishtar then offered the cup back to the Shah who eyed it warily. He took it once more and took another sip. This time his eyes widened and he took an even greater sip.

“The creamy substance is called condensed milk” you say “It is a secret technique perfected by my people, but it requires resources we aren’t producing a lot of at the moment” you explain. “The milk lasts for several months in a container, and as you no doubt are aware, is rather sweet” you add.

“You wish to trade both of these things? For what in return?” The Shah asked with a frown.

“Coffee grows only in some specific places” You say casually “None of those places I have easy access to” you add. “It requires warmth, but not too much, it can tolerate some cold, but frost will kill it, and it needs plentiful water” you explain. “Different heights will change the taste of the coffee itself, but it can’t handle great heights” you add. “Lastly, the tree takes several years before it’s producing anything in sufficient quantities” you finish.

“You want us to grow and produce this . . . coffee” The Shah stated and then took up a thoughtful pose on his throne. “These conditions of yours . . . there are few places that would meet them” he added.

“One such location is located along the coast of the Red Sea near the Himyarite Kingdom” you say “Though I know not if it grows anywhere closer” you add.

“The Himyar kingdom is very far” The Shah agreed “So is the Red Sea” he added “And the best paths are held by the Byzantines” he concluded, folding his arms. You shrug in response.

“It also grows in the lands of the Rajahs” you say. “But the best place to grow it is in the highlands of Aksum in Africa, that’s out of both of our ways” you add and the Shah nodded.

“They are Christian Heretics also” The Shah added as an afterthought. If this were the main timeline, you’d probably be distasteful of religious persecution, but in this world, that name boiled your blood.

“We do not speak that name where I am from” You mutter and the Shah looks at you sharply before nodding.

“Heretics then” he amended. The Shah hummed for a moment in thought and then nodded to himself. “Very well!” he said, “If we can make this . . . coffee . . . grow, we will trade our excess to you, and if not? Oh well” he declared.

“I’m sure you will pay in gold for my condensed milk if you can’t pay in coffee” you say with a smile. The Shah gritted his teeth for a moment before nodding.

“With that, I shall take my leave” you declare and the Shah waved you away dismissively. Your faux servants left the coffee and the amphora of condensed milk behind.

“Are we really going through with Asha’s plan?” Ishtar asked once you were out of earshot.

“It’s a good plan” You say with a grin, some might have even called it an evil grin.