Obey

It’s difficult to react logically when you’re stressed.

Thinking becomes next to impossible, as your brain is filled with alarm bells that drown out all the sensible voices saying “do this…”, “say that…” – all you hear is roaring white noise.

I squealed and obeyed, turning, ashamed towards the stairs and scurrying away from my mom as quickly as I could. I don’t know whether it was some deep instinct inside me, or the memories of every other time I’d been scolded crashing the panic party in my already overloaded mind, but I couldn’t find the mental strength to do anything else.

I wasn’t a person anymore, and by the way she was acting my Mom knew it too. I couldn’t keep it secret; she already knew… who else already knew?

Terrified, I tentatively started down the stairs towards the living room, my heart pounding at a million miles an hour; painfully aware that I was leaving footprint after wet footprint behind me.

“David!” My Mom called for my Dad, her voice echoing above me, “Alexa’s dripping water everywhere! Can you deal with her please?”

“Sandra, please tell me you’re joking…”

I heard commotion in the kitchen and whimpered, panicked, as I spied the concerned face of my Dad rounding the corner in his shirt and tie. He fixed his jaw when my eyes met his.

“Oh for the love of…” He groaned like he’d… well… like he’d just found a water leak. “I’m meant to be in the office at 9!”

I could only stand, stopped on the stairs, clutching the towel to my nakedness for protection. My bottom lip quivered as I tried to compose myself. My parents hadn't treated me like this since I was still in school!

“Dad… please… something’s wrong and I don’t…”

He waved a hand at me in irritation, and then checked his watch, “Fine, FINE… Alexa, outside!”

I jumped, taking one more tentative step down the stairs before I shook my head in muted pleading, “B-but... I… I’m in a towel!”

“You’re ruining all of our floors!” My Dad threw up his hands in annoyance, “What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s… Dad something is wrong with you too! Can’t you see…?” I pleaded again, only to have him round the stairs and grab me by the bare shoulder. He dragged me with a panicked yelp down the last few steps and marched me towards the front door. I was powerless to defend myself, my hands unable to give me any kind of balance as I instinctively clutched at the knot of my towel, **** to maintain my modesty.

“Dad! People will see! Please!” I begged, tears in my eyes. My parents had always been so loving and kind – my Dad had never ever been rough with me, never ever treated me like this; it was terrifying. My bare feet slipped across the floor, unable to get any purchase as I was unceremoniously marched outside and dumped onto the front step.

I gasped in horror as the summer morning air blew across my damp skin, dancing up under the towel and reminding me of just how humiliatingly exposed and **** I was. The concrete of the front step was already warm beneath my feet from the sun and I frantically looked left and right down our suburban street, desperately praying none of the neighbours would see me.

Dad let go of me, standing and deliberately blocking the doorway as I turned back to plead with him.

“Daddy… please… I’m sorry but can we ju-” I didn’t get to finish before he slapped me. Hard and fast, I couldn’t even scream or cry, the shock just left me standing on weakened legs, seeing stars, as the white hot pain erupted across my face.

My Dad has just slapped me. My loving, caring father… The man I’d always run to for help, the one man that was always meant to love me and protect me…

“Alexa, never call me that again” It wasn't a warning, it was an instruction, he held a pointed finger up to my face, “Let’s get something absolutely clear. I am not your Dad anymore, and Sandra is not your Mom… Ben and Megan are our only children. You are not a member of this family - do you understand?”

“W-what?”

I didn't understand. Whatever horrific ride I was on, I wanted off of it right now, I just needed everything to stop and calm down so I could think... I blinked back tears, falling into an abyss of insanity, my bottom lip quivering. Every time he used my name it felt so pointed, so cold...

“Alexa, do you understand?”

I opened my mouth to speak, Dad was clearly looking for an answer, shaking my head I gasped quietly - desperately. My head was being filled with all of things that I wasn't... But what was I now?! Ashamed, I just tried to tell him what he wanted to hear...

“Y-y-yes...”

He tipped his jaw, his right eye twitching, I'd never felt so small.

“I swear if I ever hear you call me 'Dad' again, I’ll sell you”

Sell me?!

The tears started flowing faster now, my head was spinning, everything was happening so fast. I just needed to sit down, to breath… I felt like I was going to pass out.

“Please… please I’m sorry. I don't know what's going on... I’m still me… Please… I’m sorry I got the floor wet… I’ll clean it up… please… please just let me inside… I’m scared!”

“I need to call the office.” He didn’t even flinch, his face stoic, “Alexa, stay there and dry yourself”

With that, he turned and slammed the door in my face.