Now I'm Motivated!

Well, I'm still stuck in here but at least I don't look like I'm going to be assaulted by a tentacle monster.

Trish hasn't said a word for the last ten minutes, she hasn't even looked up at me. I get that she doesn't want to speak to me, but I don't have that luxury, I know Scarlet wouldn't out me as bisexual but she could still tell her how I feel about her. That being said, Trish is staying silent, so maybe she doesn't have a big secret? Maybe that message was only for me? I mean, that'd be fair, I screwed it up, I've got to be the one to make amends.

"Trish." I begin, but there's no response, not a look, not a wince, nothing. I walk closer and repeat louder. "Trish." Still nothing. Come on, I'm trying to fix this... Maybe she doesn't want to fix it? Maybe she's content to cut me off and move on... Maybe she should. It's not like I deserve her forgiveness, I slept with her girlfriend then impersonated her to snoop. My voice breaks and all I can get out is a shaky "Trish." Barely loud enough to hear.

"What?" She responds blankly, still not looking at me.

Finally, I sigh with relief and continue. "I didn't... I didn't do any of those things to hurt you. I'm not going to defend how I've acted but... I swear, it all came from how much I care about you-"

"You're done." Trish barks, finally looking at me... Though I almost wish she didn't, given the rage in her eyes. "I thought I'd done something wrong, I thought you'd realised that I... I thought you'd... I don't know, but I thought you'd never act so selfishly. You're Rouge Cray, the unattainable goddess, but underneath just an overly-sarcastic, caring, kind girl... Or that's what I thought. I knew you weren't perfect. I just didn't think you were so malicious."

Malicious...

Malicious.

Malicious?

Fucking Malicious!?

Okay, maybe I was cruel to Skye, going full dominatrix on her might have been harsh, especially for her first time, but she sure as fuck reciprocated! Yeah, maybe this plan was a bit deceptive, but it wasn't mine to begin with, and it only happened to try and make everyone happy! Yes... I shut Trish down hard when I broke things off... But what was I meant to say? Don't find love because I'll miss you? Keep having sex with me because you're the only one I can think about but I don't know if I want to be with you? Wouldn't that be the selfish choice?

"Fuck you." I finally spit back. Her eyes still hold all the anger, now mixed with shock. "Did you ever stop and think... That maybe, to me, you're Trish Patel... Strong and brave and determined? That, while you were in awe of me existing, I was in awe of who you are? You're free, and honest, and you know who you are, and I wish I was like you... But I'm not. I don't know everything about myself. I'm sorry that I'm still figuring things out, I'm sorry for sleeping with Skye, I'm sorry I blanked you, I'm sorry for lying... But I'm not sorry for how I feel."

Trish's face slowly softens as I speak, like she's slowly unwrapping what I'm saying... But I'm not done. I owe her more than just platitudes.

I take a breath and continue. "The truth is... After we stopped talking I realised how much my life sucked before you were in it. When Scarlet and Elise went on their trip I sat in my room in silence, because all I wanted to do was talk to you. The truth is that when I slept with Skye I didn't know that you were willing to make a commitment, and I hated the thought that you would prefer to be with her than me. The truth... The Truth is... The Truth is, I'm bi, and you're the only person I've ever felt like this about, and the fact that you hate me tears me up inside and I just can't bear it..." I rush to the end as my voice turns to sobs and my vision becomes blurred with tears.

I turn away from Trish. I don't want her to look at me like this, it's not meant to be a guilt trip, she shouldn't feel bad just because I'm crying. And then I feel something that stops my heart for a moment. A pair of arms wrap around me, resting on my shoulders, I can feel her warmth behind me... And it feels... Safe.

"You're an idiot." I hear her voice whisper in my ear. I can't disagree. "It's you. It's always been you, Rouge. From the first time we talked, you were the only one I thought about. I thought being with Skye would make me move on... I thought you wanted me to move on... But it was all a lie, to you, to Skye, most of all to myself. Honestly, when I'm around you, I don't care about the rules or what sexuality we are or what my family would say... Because I care too much about you to think about it."

This sappy bitch, does she think I'll just fall for simple words like that?

Because I will.

I pull away just enough to turn around and throw myself into a hug. my tears are still flowing... But the pain's gone. I know not everything is fixed, there's so much wrong that needs putting right... But it doesn't matter now. Because now I have her. Now I have Trish.

Hugs make everything better.

*

Words are barely spoken as we lay on the bed, my head resting on Trish's chest. I'm noticing differences to being with a woman already. Turns out boobs are really good pillows. We never just cuddled like this when we were just having sex... So much wasted time. I can't think of anything I'd rather do right now...

Well, maybe one or two things, but one step at a time.

I gently play with her free hand while her other arm wraps around me. I trace her palm and interlock our fingers... Just touching her makes me feel serene... Who'd have ever thought of me as tranquil before? No one with ears. I place a kiss on the back of her hand and place it on her stomach, before snuggling closer to my girlfriend.

My girlfriend.

That's... That's gonna take some getting used to.

Shit, what am I gonna tell Mum? Or Jasper? They're gonna freak out. That should bother me...

I'm gonna have to deal with Trish's parents. From what I hear they're disasters waiting to happen. That should bother me too...

Right now, they can all piss off. I'm laying with my girlfriend.

Maybe not as much getting used to as I thought.

Eventually we hear the sound of the door unlocking, causing us to sit up sharply out of instinct. The entrance opens to reveal Elise and Scarlet, holding a small bag, their faces half curious and half smug as they see us on the bed.

"Oh, we can come back in another hour if you want to be alone?" Scarlet grins.

I know I should be grateful to them for going over our heads... but I'm also seething. "You know I'm going to kill you two." I state, forcing a chuckle from my sister and Elise. "No, seriously, no one will find your bodies." I reiterate with a deadpan expression.

"You're welcome." My twin answers. "So, are we good here? Everything worked out?"

"The fact that your plan worked doesn't mean your forgiven." Trish replies for me, standing up from the bed. "Jessie taught me the recipe for a shot called the 'night-ender.' They're not allowed to sell it at the bar anymore after too many people got hammered after one. You two just volunteered to be my test subjects."

As punishments go... That's a pretty good one. I nod in agreement as the evil geniuses open up Scarlet's bag. "You two need to redo your make-up, and Rouge needs a new costume because... Well, I mean, look at you." Elise explains, pulling out several products, as well as green clothes covered in dry fake blood... Doctors' scrubs? Eh, I've had worse costumes.

We take the time to fix out appearances before heading back to the party.

Maybe we can relax now?