Nothing, you're flat broke

...

It's a bit embarrassing to admit, but you're caught with your pants down, and not in the way you wanted to be without them tonight. You realize that you've arrived at your date with no money to speak of. You can't even afford a cheap drink. You were so caught up in the idea of letting Bubblegum take the lead tonight that you forgot you'd need to pay for her to enjoy a drink at the bar.

Bubblegum's smile looks a bit tighter than usual as she watches your expression. You think she's giving you a moment to admit that you're just making a joke... but you aren't. "Oh, Bowie. What are we going to do with you?" she sighs, shaking her head with a swish of her bright, pink hair. "Making your girl pay for your drink? That's a bit silly."

You can't do much but apologize.

"It's a sad state of affairs here at the Down sometimes, I must admit. You clown assistants are really paid peanuts. That Theodore is a bit of a tightwad," Bubblegum comments quietly, while reaching into her purse to pull out the money herself. She orders for you and you end up with a drink that's quite a bit sweeter and fruitier than you would ordinarily order, but you try to enjoy it regardless. "Now listen... I know they don't pay you much, but you do need to save up for dates with clowns, at least! That's just common sense, isn't it, sweetie?" She wears a sympathetic smile and places one hand upon yours as she coaches you. "Why don't you go home, get some rest, and we'll try the date again another night?"

You feel like crying, this is such a huge disappointment. Still, you nod, thanking her for being as helpful as always.

"There, there," she chuckles, fishing a handkerchief out from her spotted pocket-book and placing it into your hands. "I'm not going anywhere. We both live here. Let's try the Piano Lounge again another night, okay?"

Feeling a bit dumb, you point out: there's nothing saying the two of you can't still do something, just because you're broke.

Her smile turns even more strained and sympathetic as she pats your hand again. "Oh, sweetie... I'm the Helpful Clown. That means being a bit tough on you sometimes. If you blow a date this badly, you aren't getting to the final base. You understand? It'd be irresponsible for me to put out. I'd be teaching you the wrong lesson."

You feel like turning into dust and blowing away...

You thought getting the card was going to be the hard part, but this hit harder than any work you've done at the Down so far. Once the two of you finish your drinks, Bubblegum excuses herself early. You're left accepting pity drinks from the bartender, who cleans his glass silently while listening to your sob story into the wee hours of the night.