Not really

  I put my hand up. “I’m good, actually. But thanks for the offer.”


 “Well, someone’s squeamish. All right. Wishes then. Now look. I’m a genuinely well-intentioned genie. Not one of those ‘Choose how you want to die’ types. Unless that’s what you’re into.”

 “No. I can probably think of five wishes better than method of ****.” 

“Good. Which is why I want to warn you of something.”
“That being?”
“As a genie, my mind is somewhat… literal. So if the wording of your wish has two possible interpretations, I only have about a fifty percent chance of getting the right one. As a sort of apology for that, undoing wishes doesn’t count as a wish.”
 “That’s perfectly fair,” I said. “I’ll phrase my wishes carefully.”

 “You would be surprised about how many parents of hideously mangled zombie sons have said exactly the same thing.”
“Thanks for the warning.”
I thought about what wish to ask for. Somehow, in a sort of morbid fascination, hundreds of terrible, terrible ideas ran across my mind. “I’m not very funny. I’d like to be a real cut-up”, or “I’d like an extra hand around the house” for instance. Then an equal amount of weird ones came occurred to me. “I’d like to have two noses so that when one of them gets clogged up, I can breathe through the other one”. Then I thought of some boring ones, like money, power and junk like that.
And then, something occurred. You’re going to call me a pretty one-dimensional character for this. But I’ve gone through my life a virgin, unloved by anyone, and with one of the hottest and most popular girls on campus as roommate. And, sometimes things like that get to a girl. And now, with an opportunity for it at last…
Well, it was hard not to be tempted.