Not for Sarah

I look at my wardrobe and consider how much things have changed. It’s still Pokémon themed, but Sarah has filled it with skimpier options to show off my body. And she expects me to wear at least one of her additional items every day. So now I need to pick something I can go out in public in. Not that any choice of clothes could repair my reputation. Between the party and a mysterious video making its way around campus, most of the students who bother to make eye contact with me do so with a smirk. My only solace is that it doesn’t seem to have made it to any faculty yet.

I sigh, knowing there is no recovery for me. But, it’s for Sarah. I just have to remember that. Family is more important than friends I was unlikely to find the courage to make anyways. And she’s my big sister. I’m her little sister. It’s perfect. Now, what would Sarah like to see her little sister wear? She’s already gone to an early morning class. So it’ll be a surprise in the afternoon. And… yeah. It has to be the stockings. I slip on the black garter belt and stocking she gave me, then cover it with my red tartan skirt and white short sleeve blouse with Pikachu and Eevee embroidered on the breast pocket. Voilá, a perfectly safe school girl look made slutty by the addition of extra clothes. Sexuality is weird.

I head out to class and have a pretty uneventful day. Some snickers that I pretend not to hear, but that’s okay. Totally okay. Doesn’t bother me at all. AT ALL.

I spend the lunch break crying in the bathroom. No reason, just felt like a good way to kill some time.

Finally I finish with my classes and eagerly make my way to the field to watch my sister train. Despite them knowing I like to watch, I still use my overly long path to get underneath the far bleachers and watch from underneath. Sarah often ends her work out by joining me under the bleachers and letting me clean her cock before the showers. It’s… tangy and a bit sour. But I get to be useful! Thankfully the novelty of watching us seems to have worn off. They definitely judge me, but I get to spend my time more fully with Sarah. And today is no different.

I have gotten better at spotting Sarah on the field so get to enjoy watching her practice. I hum pleasantly to myself as I watch her stretch, and run, and jump. I’m not actually sure what her practice is for. What even is track and field? I should look that up later. But for right now… she’s coming here!

I eagerly wait for Sarah to make her way to what I am quickly beginning to think of as our private hideout, despite her teammates definitely knowing exactly what we are doing every day. As soon as she’s under the bleachers I hug her tightly. “Hi big sis! You looked so cool out there!” I try and squeeze my joy into her, and she smiles down at me. Success!

“Okay, okay. Hello to you too. The team wants to have a meeting after showers so I need to make this quick.” Her hands land on my shoulders and I feel her pressure me down to my knees. Oh… okay. I was hoping for more sister time… but this is fine.

She releases her cock and immediately slides it past my lips. I guess she needs to hurry to this meeting. I do my best to lick and suck, and I even manage to get her in my throat on my own for a bit. But Sarah must have a strict schedule as she grabs my head and rapidly face fucks me before cumming down my throat. She holds it in for a moment to make sure it all goes inside my stomach, then pulls away. I cough and sputter a bit at the rapidity of my use and her retraction. Before I can calm my reflexes enough to speak, Sarah has already put herself away and is walking back out of the bleachers. “See you later sis.” And she’s gone.

… it’s okay, it’s okay… it’s not okay. I need to leave. I should have brought a hooded jacket or something. I quickly walk out of the bleachers, going straight over the grass to the sidewalk without bothering with my normal path. I keep my eyes on the ground as I try hard to keep my face neutral. A hood would have made it easier to hide the tears I can’t stop from streaming down my cheeks.

I manage to make it to the dorm building, but when I make it to the room it won’t open right. I can’t help but let a single sob escape my throat before having to sniff hard to clear my nose. And then I realize I’ve gotten off at the wrong floor. This isn’t my room. I’m a failure at walking to my own room.

Going back to the stairs and entering the correct door, I close it behind me and jump into my bed to lose the control I had while outside to cry and sob with my plushies. I crush Piplup to my chest, and smoosh my face into Bulbasaur’s bulb. After several minutes of exhausting sobs, I manage to calm down enough to notice Ralts. The first stage of Gardevoir. I like Kirlia more, being more female coded and therefore a better little sister to Gardevoir. But right now it doesn’t matter. Gardevoir doesn’t have sisters. Just toys.

I look over at Sarah’s bed and spot the Gardevoir in question… no. I shouldn’t project my situation onto the Pokèmon. That’s not fair to them. Maybe I will never earn Sarah’s sisterly love, but that doesn’t mean they can’t love each other. I look around and find Kirlia, and bring both her and Ralts over and place them on Sarah’s bed next to Gardevoir to make a perfect family of sisters. Oldest, middle, and youngest… and then my throat tightens up and I begin to cry again. I stay on Sarah’s bed and cry while looking at the happy Pokèmon sisters.

I lose track of time. Eventually I’m just laying on Sarah’s bed with wet cheeks staring at the plushies and imagining them having a cute little picnic. Sarah comes in and doesn’t seem to question me on her bed. I don’t look at her, suddenly wishing I had some way to wash my face without her seeing. I don’t know how she’ll react to my tear streaked face. She’s made it clear she doesn’t have time for my feelings, but I still want to be hers. What if she hates me for crying about this?

“Hey baby, I’m hungry. Let’s go get something to eat.” I look away towards her pillow.

“I’m fine… not hungry.” My voice waivers a bit. Damn you mouth. Full sentences with a steady voice, is that too much to ask for?

Luckily Sarah doesn’t seem to notice anything amiss. “Okay, do you want me to grab you anything for later?” Her concern would normally make me feel special, but now I can plainly hear the casual disinterested nature of the offer. She’s not taking special care for me, this is just an offer you’re supposed to make to someone who isn’t going with for food. She’d have asked the same of anyone.

My throat cinches shut, and more tears begin to flow. Damn you eyes and throat, I’m trying not to draw attention to myself right now! Having no other option, I just shake my head and hope she doesn’t notice anything. When she leaves I can escape to my bed with much more cover to hide behind.

“Alright then, see you in a bit.” I hear her drop a bag down, probably her duffel. She walks away and opens the door. I hear the door shut. Finally alone, I let another sob rock me and push my face into Sarah’s pillow to cry more.

Suddenly hands are on my shoulders and I’m flipped over onto my back. Sarah’s staring down into my bleary eyes. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did someone bully you?”

Face red with tears and shame, I shake my head. I thought she already left. Who opens a door and closes it without walking through? How do I get out of this? She isn’t supposed to see me cry. I’m fun for her. Her toy. Toys don’t cry. I put my hands over my face to hide, despite knowing it’s too late. I need a reason for crying that’s not her. She may not treat me like a sister but if I’m not easy to get along with like a toy she might not even want me as that. “It’s, it’s nothing. I just… stubbed…” hiccup. Fuck, now I get to deal with the hiccups. And where was I even going with that? What gets stubbed and results in a full sob session? “Toe.” Oh well, time to double down.

“You stubbed your toe?” I peak out between my fingers, but my teary eyes can’t make out her face well enough to gauge how successful my lie is.

“Uh huh. Big toe.” Hiccup. Sniffle. Yep, it’s all my toe.

Sarah pulls me up to sit next to her on the side of the bed. She then kneels down and gently grabs my feet and applies a light pressure to my toes. She reaches up and pulls my hands fully away from my face. I look down past her to the ground. “What’s going on?” Her voice is stern. She’s mad at me. She knows I’m lying, and she’s mad at me. I try to think up another lie, but all I can do is **** out another sob. Hiccup.

She sits back down next to me and pulls me close. She rubs my shoulder. “Come on baby. Tell your big sister what’s wrong.”

I bury my face into her shoulder. Hiccup. I manage to get my sobs down to whimpers, but I still can’t talk yet. Still, she said big sister. Maybe I’m just being silly… no. She knows I’m a happy toy if she says the word. I’m not really her sister. She doesn’t care. I’m just a toy at best. My whimpers escalate back up to sobs and I grip her tightly to keep my face safe and buried in her shoulder. She stiffens up, but then she relaxes and moves her rubbing to my back.

“Shh shh. It’s okay. Just… keep crying. I guess.” Is that good advice? I don’t know, but it’s all I can do right now. A minute later I’ve tired myself out enough to have **** but to ease back down to sniffling and hiccups. She tries again. “What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong? A tiny bit of anger flares up in me. Before I can think about it, I open my mouth. “We’re not sisters.”

“… I mean, I guess I wasn’t technically adopted by your parents, but…” she doesn’t get it.

I shake my head, rubbing my face against her. “No.” Hiccup. “Toy. Just a toy.” Yeah. Words are hard sometimes. I can’t even blame her for not thinking of me as a sister. Sisters can communicate. I can’t manage to convey anything to her.

“Oh. Oh shit… fuck.” Her voice is quiet and whispered, clearly more to herself than words for me. She squeezes me tighter, and then pulls me into her lap. “Is that why you put the Pokèmon family on my bed? You wanted to see sisters?”

Hiccup. I calm down a little. She understood? A bit of warmth spreads back into me. I nod my head, still just rubbing my face into her shoulder. She keeps rubbing my back.

“… your hair is a little tangled. Want me to brush it?”

Hiccup. Yes. Yes yes. Yes yes yes yes. Hiccup. I really need to find my voice. In its place I nod my head again.

Sarah pulls away slightly, and I lean in after her. I hear her desk drawer opening and closing, and she leans back to me. Her hand begins to run slowly through my hair. “You need to let me go so I can brush your hair, baby sis.” Her voice sounds so gentle. I pull away, but still keep my face down. She puts her hand underneath my chin and pushes up slightly. She places a gentle kiss on my lips, holding it for just a bit. Pulling away, she smiles at me gently. “Turn your head and hold still. Let your big sister take care of you.”

I comply, and she slowly runs a brush through my hair. She’s very gentle. It takes a long time, as she doesn’t pull on a single snag, instead carefully untangling every one. By the time she finishes, I’ve calmed down a lot, although I’m still stuck with the hiccups.

She turns my head back towards her and once more gently kisses me, holding me firmly to her lips. Then her tongue slips inside my mouth and she presses my tongue down before up and tasting the roof of my mouth as she pulls out. “I’m sorry baby sis. I don’t ever plan on giving you up as my toy. But, I should have remembered you’re my sister too.” My hiccup interrupts her, and she smiles at me. She gives me another, shorter kiss. “Do you think you can go out and have dinner with your big sis?”

My face is still refusing to obey me, but now it’s all smiles no matter how much I tell it to calm down. “Yes si…” hiccup. “Yes sister. I’d like that.” I lean in for a kiss of my own, and hiccup into her mouth.