Not Tonight Larry

I've just sat down in bed after putting my hair in curlers and I'm about to read my book when Larry starts to feel me up. I'm really not in the mood for his tiny penis antics so I smash his bare nuts with my book. "Uuk!" He automatically curls up into a ball holding his aching testicles. "Jeeze Larry, can't I read in peace without you bothering me?"

He rocks back and forth on the bed massaging his marbles. "Oowch! M..my tes..tes. testicles." I glance over at him as he rolls over onto his stomach pressing his crotch against the mattress. "I'm sorry Larry, I'm just not in the mood tonight." I start to read while Larry continues to moan about his balls. "Oh they hurt. Woo woo! Owww!"

I put my book down in a huff. "Stop it Larry! I didn't even hit you that hard! Jesus Christ you'd think I castrated you with the racket you're making!" Honestly can't I get any peace. I get up and grab his pillow then get a blanket from the linen closet. He's sleeping on the couch tonight.

With the blanket and pillow now on the couch I go to the bedroom and drag Larry out by the arm." You're sleeping out here tonight Larry! I'm tired of your bullshit!"

Back in the bedroom I sit back up in bed and read my book. Here's a word from the wise to all you ladies out there. If your husband wants sex and you don't hit him in the scrotum. It gets the point across quickly and you won't have to keep telling him no. After reading a chapter I close the book, turn out the light and lay down to sleep thinking about our neighbor Biff Johnson. Tall, muscular war hero Biff Johnson. He's everything Larry isn't. That Betty sure is a lucky woman.