Noise from the kitchen

The serenity of your dream is abruptly shattered when the noise rings out again.

CLANG!

Someone is in the kitchen.

Immediately, you sit up with a gasp of air. Even the the noise has grown softer, someone is definitely rooting around in your kitchen. You jump out of bed and throw back on your boxers (noticing that it's more difficult than necessary since you're still at full mast). Grabbing the Louisville Slugger from under my bed, you advance towards the door.

You grip the knob firmly and slowly turn it. The door open's silently and you peer out, confident you'll get the jump on the intruder.

As you peek through the crack, you take a look at the source of my trouble, ready to give whomever you find hell for ruining not only a good night's rest, but one of the best dreams of your life.