No, seriously, you need to do a recap, fyreant, no one has the slightest idea what's going on

Okay, Rikki. You review recent happenings in your memory.

You got your start as a superheroine calling herself Nightingale, named after your mother. You and she haven't seen eye to eye for many years because... that's kind of the default, isn't it? Also she dislikes the way the League of Propriety has become sexualized, and you've been kinda slutty since you were a teenager.

On your first patrol, you responded to a fight in a nightclub and tried to beat up some gang members. A couple overpowered you and you had to flirt your way out of a potential gang rape. It turned out there was a supervillainess with an invisibility suit, 'Diamond-9' (ohhhhhh, because diamonds are transparent... you just now got that), who threatened you and the thugs with a laser to make you have a three-way with them. You managed to defeat Diamond but not without ending up with cum inside your pussy. Fortunately, the morning-after pill worked (you can only imagine the nightmare scenario if it didn't).

You then met back up with your friend and servant-but-not-in-a-bad-elitist-way-because-it's-okay-for-rich-people-to-have-servants-if-they-fight-crime, Julia, a nerdy Spanish grad student. You began investigating Diamond-9's supervillain family (literally in this case), the 'Full House gang'.

While busting some random bad guys you got unasked-for assistance from a member of of the Big 7, 'Green Streak', a super speedster notorious for his sexist attitudes, womanizing, irresponsibility, and fragile ego, who offered to help you with 'training' at the HQ. You were totally undeterred by the aforementioned attributes because he was a high-ranking superhero with visible abs and accepted.

However, instead of doing the simple thing and doing some light training together before putting the moves on you, which would've almost certainly been successful, Green Streak tripped over his own feet in his attempts to take advantage of you by overcomplicating things. And, in the process, some 'trainers' whose job is to pretend to be bad guys in exercises turned out to be bad guys for real and molested you, along with the only other novice heroine naive enough to take Green Streak up on his offer.

That other heroine was Dr. Rainbow, a stereotypical 'magical girl' in every way except for the fact that she's in her late 20s despite often being made fun of for looking younger. Dr. Rainbow has an extremely saccharine personality, and powerful magical abilities, yet an abysmal track record in fights. She took a shine to you and you decided to team up as a heroic duo due mostly to your themes complimenting one another, though she is so precious that you've since become very attached to her.

You and Dr. Rainbow soon encountered the entirety of the Full House gang during their next robbery. Unfortunately, their leader (and mother), 'Queen of Spades', won the superpower jackpot with some very powerful ferrokinesis a.k.a. metal control. Which didn't seem like the kind of power that would end up being sexual, but it sure turned out to be. After she and her daughters went to town on you and Dr. Rainbow with dildos, they dragged you in slave collars to be traded for favors with a mob boss, Antonio Signoria. Long story short, you and Dr. Rainbow ended up with a lot of cum inside multiple holes. Then you were brought to a pizza place, the amusingly named 'Trompe l'Olive', where you found a literally shadowy old mob boss, a bodyguard known as 'The Melter' who could fire clothing-melting beams of heat energy from his penis, and the mob boss's mysterious waifish daughter.

At this point. Queen of Spades revealed her crime spree was to get revenge on the mob boss, 'Cornelio Vida', for killing her husband, the father of the rest of the gang members. A fight broke out, and long story short, you kicked everyone's ass and burned Boss Vida into submission with a magical rainbow coming from Dr. Rainbow's private parts as a result of you giving her an orgasm. Before she killed him (it's okay, he was a demon), Boss Vida told Queen of Spades that her husband, 'King of Clubs', wasn't murdered, but rather killed himself after Vida's mysterious 'mistress' had blackmailed him for every cent he owned and made him her slave, twisting the knife by revealing that the mysterious teen girl in the restaurant was actually King's bastard daughter and the half-sibling of Queen's kids. The demoralized Queen surrendered and her whole gang was arrested.

At this point, your mother Molly, the first Nightingale, dropped in at your penthouse to try and pressure you into leaving Acropolis City and joining a new hero team in Toronto, telling you she'd arranged a high position for you there. You refused because Toronto is boring and has hardly any supervillains. Before the argument could progress very far, Dr. Rainbow burst in and told you of a 'terrible threat to the city' that only you could help with. You thought she was bluffing to give you an out, but in retrospect Dr. Rainbow doesn't have it in her to tell even white lies.

It turned out that before she came to Acropolis City, Dr. Rainbow had fought crime in her home region of the Midwest (presumably under the monniker 'Medical Resident Rainbow' since she was still earning her doctorate) and had two nemeses, who followed her to Acropolis to cause trouble for her, and you. They were rather bizarre even by Acropolis standards, consisting of 'The Baconator', a fat slob villain themed around junk food who'd stolen a magical rod with the sole specific purpose of causing women to cheat on their partners, and 'Gloomy Sunday', an evil misanthropic musician whose music can cause various negative emotional effects up to and including suicide.

It turned out that these villains had teamed up to steal 'The World's Smallest Violin', a powerful invention capable of affecting humans at the subatomic level using superstring theory (or something - it wasn't quite clear) from La Petite Mort, the Big 7's super scientist (she has shrinking powers and is themed around being gloomy and goth, as well as stereotypically French despite not actually being French except by ancestry). This theft was aided and abetted by Green Streak's best friend, 'Beast Beauty', a seasoned heroine with the ability to transform into any animal, whose seemingly cheerful, laid-back demeanor belies the fact that she is an extremely vocal misogynist (yes, including towards herself; she's a 'submissive'), homophobe and generally unpleasant reactionary troll.

La Petite Mort joined you to recover her stolen device. After going to where Dr. Rainbow's duo of archenemies were set up and defeating a small army of henchmen, as per standard hero procedure, Gloomy Sunday revealed, as per standard villain procedure, that she'd been two steps ahead of you the whole time. She revealed that she'd somehow acquired video of you from right before you left for college when, thanks to an extremely ill-advised use of your voice-changing powers and a decision to have raw sex with a strange man you met anonymously online in a dark room, you turned out to have fucked your own stepfather. At least you weren't blood related. Gloomy Sunday explained that she was going to blackmail you into helping her utilize the tiny violin to spread a wave of psychic depression over the city by threatening to show the video to your mother, while at the same time, Baconator was in your apartment preparing to use the infidelity-inducing rod to get Molly to have sweaty revenge sex with him. Since your mother had already been depressed for years (most of her life, really - she probably should've been on prozac or something) the destruction of her marriage would be a disaster.

Oh, and Gloomy Sunday also tried to enlist Petite Mort in her scheme by appealing to her cynical ambition, and tried to break Dr. Rainbow's spirit by blackmailing her with a video of her (Dr. Rainbow) accidentally running over a squirrel in her car.

You fought Gloomy Sunday and defeated her. To prevent your mother from being spirit-broken into letting the disgusting Baconator touch her, you had the creative but morally questionable solution of combining Gloomy Sunday's powers and Mort's violin to spread a temporary psychic suggestion that incest is okay and doesn't qualify as infidelity. After defeating Baconator's mutant half-cow bodyguard, you found out that your insane incest-enabling scheme had been pointless, since your mother just immediately beat Baconator into submission the moment he appeared instead of standing around to watch a video he tried to show her, and never even gave him time to use the 'netorare rod'.

However, your mother was so infuriated by seeing you and Petite Mort sexually assault Gloomy Sunday into submission that she permanently rescinded the title of Nightingale and returned to heroing herself despite being well into her 40s. So, you temporarily became a security guard for the League of Propriety instead.

During this time you were assigned to guard Beast Beauty during some punitive community service she was assigned. It turned out this 'community service' was hijacked by the city's corrupt police department, many of whom have the same outdated homophobic attitudes as Beast Beauty. Refusing to take part in their plans to raid a number of gay bathhouses and harass an LGBT pride rally you convinced another demoted heroine to help you in the somewhat counterintuitive endeavor of preventing homophobia by having rough, questionably consensual heterosexual sex with some bad cops.

Some good did come out of all this (despite you basically daring mother nature to knock you up for the 5th time since you started heroing) because you discovered that the Full House Gang from before had been released from prison (despite it having been mere weeks ago that you'd captured them) under Raven Woman, a mysterious member of the Big 7 widely considered the 2nd most powerful hero after Maiden America (did you mention her yet? she's pretty much what you'd imagine based on her name). This was significant, since the mobster-who-was-secretly-a-demon Cornelio Vida had a similarly paroled supervillain as his bodyguard. As of the present time, it's basically confirmed that Vida was a servant of Raven Woman and the mysterious girl at the pizza parlor was her daughter.

Before leaving the rally, you spotted a strange supervillain with a hawaiian shirt and a bomb-shaped mask, notorious for teleporting into places and setting off explosions, called "Photobomber". Unfortunately he made all this a lot more complicated.

The following day, you defeated a rapey invisible lesbian villainess (no, not Diamond-9, a different one) called Cheshire Huntress while on your way to work. You were then informed you are being made leader of a new hero team, and you ended up handing off the captured Cheshire Huntress to Beast Beauty, which was another terrible, terrible decision on your part.

This new team was to be called the Weather Watch, pictured here. As part of it, you were given the new identity of 'Thunderbird', along with a serious upgrade in your combat strength due to Petite Mort giving you some powerful gear, letting you use your sound powers to attack directly instead of just for creative trickery. Unfortunately, aside from Dr. Rainbow, the two other new members turned out to be very hostile. Red Balloon has aerokinesis and is an extreme egotist and only wants to be a hero for fame and glamor, and so passive aggressive that it can hardly be called 'passive'. She is also extremely proud of being a virgin (it's unclear if she intended this to be a pun considering her name of 'Red Balloon'... "one prick and it's gone", get it?) and contemptuous of anyone who isn't.

The other hero on your team, 'Snowflake', is a tall, racially ambiguous person with snow and ice capabilities. Snowflake identifies as non-binary and the fact that you generally refer to Snowflake with female pronouns in your own internal narrative is just a habit of mind and NOT intended to reflect your attitudes or opinions on anyone's sexual identity, and in conversation you are always scrupulous about referring to Snowflake using their preferred pronouns. She (refer back to that last sentence) is extremely touchy about issues of racism, sexism, sexuality, environmentalism, and generally anything a modern liberal arts student would tend to be upset by. Despite identifying as a queer person (which is totally valid and not that there's anything wrong with that), Snowflake is sexually aggressive towards men, especially 'problematic' ones, albeit in a roundabout way that usually involves criticizing them first. Since joining you've started getting along with her relatively well, at least compared to Red Balloon.

Immediately after the Weather Watch's formation, Photobomber attacked Petite Mort's lab with a bomb, nearly killing all of you (and actually killing Mort's assistant, who was a 'frankenstein'-type reanimated freak, so perhaps 're-killing' is more apt) and devastating the League HQ. At the same time, the Wonderland Warriors attacked with a small army of henchmen and villains.

During the chaos you met a "hero" (he was a little suspicious, in retrospect) named 'Griffineagle', or so he claimed. He hit it off with Snowflake quite well and seemed to be a nice guy. After splitting up, Red Balloon found a room guarded by some demons made of shadows. She killed them with static electricity generated on her large breasts and freed a small leprechaun-like being with apparent magical powers, who offered her a deal to ruin and disgrace the rest of the Weather Watch, which she accepted with no hesitation whatsoever.

To try and rescue Dr. Rainbow, who had gone off on her own due after entering a fugue state in response to so many people being near death and in dire need of first aid, you fought Queen of Hearts, the leader (sort of; it's complicated) of the Wonderland Warriors. During the fight, Queen of Hearts revealed that the Full House Gang were her subordinates before they went on their vendetta. Queen of Hearts is a deceptively young-looking blonde woman who is a massively powerful psychic. Unlike many villains who often "just" sleazy and rapey, Queen of Hearts is noted for being murderously violent and lacking any kind of limits or restraints. You managed to catch Queen of Hearts off guard and temporarily defeat her.

After that, you encountered Hot-Cross Bunny, who was being "interrogated" by Mood Ring and her sidekick, Mood Ring being a Big 7 member with a ring that grants her emotion-related powers. Hot-Cross Bunny is the power behind the throne of the Wonderland Warriors group and has rabbit-related powers, and is renowned for her cruelty. At this point, it turned out that the Dr. Rainbow you rescued was actually a shapeshifting imposter working with the Warriors, 'Mock Turtle', who really DOES have to be referred to exclusively with nongendered pronouns due to being sexless in their default form. The upshot is that you got fucked by a 'futanari' version of Dr. Rainbow and creampied yet again.

Unfortunately, at that point, Bunny's backup arrived before yours did and she was able to escape after capturing 'Griffineagle' and Dr. Rainbow, along with various other heroines. As a result of this seemingly successful assault, a massive crime wave has engulfed the city with every villain known and hordes of common criminals and supervillain fans running rioting.

The following day you and the Weather Watch assisted Maiden America and her sidekicks Star and Spangle with defeating 'Belladonna', a young supervillainess who had a technology for turning people into cybernetic werewolves. Lacking any way to imprison her effectively, you left her in the care of a janitor you'd befriended during your time as a security guard while he put on a cosplay superhero suit. This didn't work well, and ended up with the villainess immediately seducing the cosplaying janitor and escaping, though she suffered consequences from her lack of foresight in not packing condoms in her skimpy villain attire.

You were then informed that some other superheroines were suing you and Snowflake, with lawyers, for infringing on your names. You and Red Balloon went to see Raven Woman for help. Following the battle with Belladonna, Maiden America had departed to deal some vague crisis due to the rest of the League being hobbled, leaving Raven Woman as temporary leader. However Raven Woman seems to be more interested in lounging in her underground office watching pornography and snacking than providing leadership.

You interrogated Raven Woman about the various suspicious things you'd discovered about her (or did you?), but (if you did) she pretty much just ignored you. She did, however, agree to help with the name lawsuits, and gave you a hint that Green Streak knew a way to reach the Wonderland Warriors' hidden base and rescue Dr. Rainbow. While Snowflake went to catch up on her schoolwork and pursue another hookup you took Red Balloon to investigate.

Unfortunately, at this point, you were approached by a villain from your past. Your until-this-point-forgotten-about stepbrother, Elliot, now calling himself "Shush", had always resented you in the past. It turns out that when you mistakenly went to bed with your stepfather five years ago, you'd become pregnant. Doing the sensible thing you hid it from your parents and got an abortion. Elliot, being resentful, observed you at the abortion clinic and tried to blackmail you into helping him rob his father with the information. When you refused and your mother refused to believe his accusation, Elliot stole a small fortune and fled into the night. It now turns out that he bought himself a sound-cancelling bodysuit which makes him an effective burglar as well as disrupting your superpowers.

At this point Elliot threatened you and revealed all this to Red Balloon... who was appalled and disgusted, but she already hated you from the moment she met you, so it didn't change much. Dr. Rainbow (who you got in radio contact with while captured) also learned of this, but was unperturbed.

At this point, Elliot revealed he planned to try blackmailing you yet again, this time to help him get onto the League of Propriety, by sharing pictures that he'd taken of you being refused at an abortion clinic in Acropolis City a few months ago. Unfortunately for him, this was of limited value because the heroine in the photograph isn't you at all, but an entirely different heroine who coincidentally(?) resembles you. At this point, you learned for the first time that the League has a deeply unfortunate and not-widely-publicized ban on abortion among the membership, permanently cashiering any heroine who obtains one. Elliot refused to believe the girl in his blackmail photo wasn't you, and fled after you threatened him, promising to tell your mother, and the League (since he believes you violated their rules with a back-alley procedure) if you don't accede to his demands within a day.

When you got to the place where this mysterious contact was, Photobomber struck again. The contact wasn't harmed, but that's because it turned out to be the leader of Green Streak's rogues' gallery, an evil ice-skater called Goldie Glider. Goldie turned out to be none other than Green Streak's younger sister.

You overcame the obstacles of Goldie's supervillain cronies, first with combat and then with sex. When you went to confront Goldie, Photobomber showed up at the same time as Green Streak, and then things got REALLY confusing.

It turns out the reason Photobomber had been leaping around in the timestream attacking things and people seemingly at random is because he's Green Streak's son from the future, or so he claims. It seems that while/before (those tenses get confusing with time travel) Photobomber was traveling in the past, someone changed history to cause Green Streak to die, or otherwise prevent him from conceiving offspring - apparently time travel causality is 'sticky', no butterfly effect, things don't "un-exist" unless you make it impossible for them to exist. In other words, as long as parents end up having sex at some point within a month or so of the original timeline, he won't fade from existence. However, as he explained, he can't simply move around the timestream at will, because if he goes beyond the point in time where his conception becomes impossible, he'll be annihilated by a paradox. In other words, he can't just travel forward a bit and see what caused Green Streak's death (if that is indeed what changed the timeline), so he has to guess. If he does know who his mother is supposed to be (it seems like he would, but it's always possible he was given up for adoption, and even if he does know his mother in the future it's possible she never told him what her hero or villain identity was), he isn't telling anyone.

This suggests Photobomber was attacking things and people he suspects might be the cause of his own non-existence in the future... which raises the possibility that his target when bombing Mort's lab was not the Weather Watch itself, but the equipment Mort uses to manufacture high-tech contraceptive devices for the League.

Anyway, Goldie Glider revealed that the reason she was demanding Green Streak meet with her is because she was threatening him with blackmail regarding the fact that they had oral sex together while under the effects of your incest-inhibition-disrupting song... and Goldie Glider turned out to be REALLY into it and was trying to pressure Green Streak into giving it another try. To that end, Goldie wanted to create a distraction from the taboo relationship she hoped to enter into by revealing your role in causing the 'incest bomb' incident, which the League had so far covered up for you. So, Goldie leaked information to a (so far unseen) young heroine who is particularly upset about the incest-taboo incident, so she can expose you and cause a scandal.

Seeing no alternatives, you called Raven Woman, who'd promised you any favor you needed, and asked her to block that investigation somehow. You then fought Goldie Glider to a standstill, and Goldie's gang agreed to assist you, Green Streak, and the Weather Watch in infiltrating Hot-Cross Bunny's hideout, so you can rescue Dr. Rainbow and find out what Queen of Hearts knows about the Full House Gang... since you suspect it is somehow connected to the mysterious death of your father when you were 5 years old, which you've dedicated your hero career to solving.

After returning to the HQ, you were approached by Beast Beauty, who told you that a porn video had been created by the villains involving Dr. Rainbow and sent to the HQ, which you weren't particularly shocked or dismayed by, since you'd pretty much been expecting things to go that way. But in the process, you learned that a video with a 'redheaded heroine' being fucked was being screened in a private video room in the league. Suspecting it was the girl whose photo Elliot/Shush wanted to blackmail you and your mother with, you followed up on this, only to discover that the League uses an arcane technological camera to make video records of every incident that involves a heroine in costume becoming pregnant, to comply with some mysterious policy.

Unfortunately, it turned out that the heroine in the video in question was neither you nor the girl in Shush's blackmail photo, but a guest heroine from Northern Europe who you've never met before. It was at this point that the interdimensional genie, or whatever he is, that Red Balloon made her contract with popped in to taunt you, while Snowflake (who you'd sent in to spy on the video using the sensors built into her costume), who had initially been flirting with the heroes gathered to watch their former hero buddy 'starring' in the video, got in a fight with them for some reason.

And here we are.