Nick gets his hair styled.

We walk into the salon and it looks like a mix between a classic barber shop and a modern salon. The chairs could easily be from the 50s and those might be the oldest beehive style hairdryers you’ve seen outside of a movie. At the same time there are sinks with those dips in them for your neck at every station and large shelving areas for the many MANY bottles of product and tools of the trade. There are three stylists sitting around. A young one that might be old enough to drink, chewing gum and popping bubbles, is reading from her phone. Another, looking like she’s in her early thirties is sitting reading from a tablet. And finally there’s the eldest. Her silver hair is beautiful and full and her makeup is immaculately applied. At first glance you think she may be in her late fifties but when she gets up and starts approaching you saying “Well hello there Miss Brahm. I’m so glad you could make it. And look at that, you had all of five seconds to spare. You should probably go out and get a cup of coffee or a danish!”

Sarah waves her hand at the lady, who now looks more like she’s in her mid to late sixties, and says jokingly “Keep that up Marci, and we just may well get something to drink. I mean, we wouldn’t want to bother this bustle of activity!”

They finally meet in the middle of the salon and hug like old friends. Sarah turns and puts her am around Marci’s waist as they both look me over like a butcher eyeing a cow about to be slaughtered. “Here’s my newest project. You know what I want and I trust you. And just to help one of your girls out, I think I’m going to get some more color added to my hair. Any suggestions?”

Marci nods as she’s asked about me before turning and holding Sarah out at arm’s length. Hmm… you know the more of that beautiful blonde we cover up, the longer it will take for it to come out again. But if you insist, I’d do a spring color as it will set you apart all autumn and winter. Plus I’m sure your audience will love the purple, green and blue splashes. Ella over there will do you right and I’m sure you’ll be happy. Now… let me get to work!”

I immediately like Marci. She has a motherly type of attitude, joking with her adult children. Or at least how I’d imagine a mother’s attitude would be. She clearly remembers Sarah and not only knows what she wants, she knows what Sarah wants for me and knows what staff will best be able to help Sarah attain her own beauty goals.

I also trust Marci as she reminds me of the old barbers back in my home town. The guys who look like they’ve ben performing the same ten haricuts for decades and could do it with their eyes closed while having a beer and carrying on four different conversations. When she brings me over to sit in a chair she turns it so we’re facing the mirror and smiles down at my reflection. “So dearie, do you know what Sarah is looking for?”

I nod, finally feeling like I’m ready for what Sarah’s brought me in for. “Yup. Sarah has me and someone else she’s helping with our streaming. We need a good look that will help us gain and retain an audience.” I see Marci’s eyebrows lower like she’s going to disagree but I keep going, wanting her to know that I’m comfortable with her cutting my long hair. Most older barbers are cautious about that and she probably doesn’t cut many guy’s hair. “I’m sure Sarah trusts you, and therefore I do too.”

Marci nods, evidently happy with my response. “Okay then. Well we’re doing the full package so let’s start with the face. It’s nice, but let’s smooth out those lines and take care of those pores. I’m going to put a warm treatment soaked towel around your face. It’ll feel a little tingly, but just let it do its magic and don’t open your mouth. It won’t hurt to breath in the fumes, but swallowing it will make you sick for days on end. Could even send you to the hospital”

She holds up one of the towels for reference then holds up two circular pads. “These little babies are for your eyes. They’re going to smooth out all those lines you have around your eye lids. It takes a long time, so they’ll be on your eyes for most of our time together. When I need to lift you to a straight sitting position I’ll tape them on. I know what you’re thinking, your eyes look fine. Well, they look all right. After I’m done, they’ll look gorgeous!”

Setting the pads aside she stands right behind me and runs her hands through my hair. She looks a little determined as she feels how ratty my hair is. “I see you went with the classic homeless look. Well, not to worry. Your hair is thick and full and even if I have to use harsh chemicals, it will come out looking great. Just sit back and enjoy. Oh, and since we’ll be here awhile, I’ve got some music for you to listen to!”

Marci brings up some earbuds and puts them in my ears. I’m surprised she even knows what earbuds are but am happy to hear some classic rock start up. Next come the eye pads and I can feel the itchiness immediately as they lay over my closed eyes. Finally I feel the towel being draped over my face. It’s warm and smells of sandlewood and I relax under its weight while she tilts the chair back.

Suddenly the music stops. I feel someone’s hand on my shoulder as I hear Marci say “Sorry about that dear. Wrong playlist. That’s for one of my male customers. This is far more suitable for a princess like you!”

The music starts up again and instead of rock my ears are filled with… K-pop? I roll my closed eyes, wondering why she thinks the girliest of girly pop music is more appropriate for me. And princess? She’s a joker alright!

Time seems to extend out indefinitely as I’m left to just sit there and experience the work without knowing what’s going on. I was expecting a wash, a wait, a conditioner application, and then a cut. Twenty minutes if she’s fast, thirty minutes if she takes her time. But once I’m dipped back and my head is in the sink, I feel like I’m in that position for an hour. There were five separate treatments to my hair and at one point I feel foil being put into it. Eventually the music stops and I wait for her to take the towel and pads off when instead I hear Marci say “Okay dear, that has to sit for an hour, relax and enjoy your music.”

An hour? A freaking hour? What the hell could ever take an hour on my hair? I mean, even those home coloring kits only take thirty to forty minutes.

After another dose of infinity I feel Marci’s hand gently on my shoulder as the music stops… which by this time I’m bopping my toes to… and says she’s going to get back to work. More treatments in the sink, more foil, more treatments, and finally I’m sat up with the towel being removed and the pads being taped on. I let out a long sigh of relief as I figure the real cutting will now begin and we’ll be done in fifteen minutes.

“Okay deary, this is two of four. Another hour. Enjoy your music!”

WHAT!!?? Another HOUR!? And two of FOUR treatments!!??

I honestly don’t know what to do. I know this is on me as I should have asked what exactly to expect, and while I feel like I can and should trust Sarah, she has no idea what hair I like to have. I get more and more upset until I realize there isn’t anything to do but wait. If she’s not even half done with the treatment it would likely be ruined if we stopped now. I might not exactly pride myself on my hair, but it IS important to me. So… I wait.

After over two hours of the music, I think I may be wrong on the music. I’m fairly sure it’s J pop. I’m catching a few of the words when they speak in their natural tongue and I’m almost certain it’s Japanese.

The chair is laid back. More treatment work. More foil. More treatment work. The chair is brought back up and still I have to wait.

It’s definitely J Pop. It’s either on a random playlist or a three hour repeating block, but I finally heard the same song twice and know that K pop doesn’t use konnichiwa!

The chair is laid back. More treatment work. More foil. More treatment work. The chair is brought back up and I’m told just one more hour.

As I expected, it’s more than an hour. An hour just means she was able to remove all the foil, wash it fully, and start working on the hair cut part. I swear, with all the effort that’s gone in, I’d better see the best set of highlights or lowlights. I’d better have Hollywood hair or this isn’t worth it at all. As my hair is being pulled, combed, cut, moved, blown, brushed, and styled harder than its ever been styled I feel another hand on my shoulder. The music doesn’t stop but one of the ear buds is taken out long enough for me to hear Sarah “You’re looking great! Marci is a miracle worker. I can’t wait for you to see it!”

With the ear bud put back in I continue to listen to what will either become my favorite music or my most hated music. I might need another hour to decide. Soon… soonish?... the music stops and I prep myself to stand up. Again, I feel Marci’s hand on my shoulder and hear her voice. “Ooops, not yet. I just wanted to tell you that we’ve decided to do a lip treatment. Most of the time I can put it on and you wouldn’t feel a thing, but they take about an hour and a half. Since we’re about thirty minutes from being done and I’d like to go home while today is still today, I’m using an accelerated serum treatment. Once it’s applied you won’t be able to move your lips but thankfully it’s only for a short time. It'll sting. It might sting a lot. Just know it’s not damaging and the effects are nothing short of amazing. Ready?”

I shrug and try to sound sincere with “I guess so. I trust both Sarah and you to know what’s best.”

Marci’s answer startles me a bit but before I can even address it the music is back on and she’s rubbing something over my lips. “Okay girly, lets finish with a bang!”

Girly? Did… did she just call me girly? Oh no.

I try to remain still, to pay more attention to what’s going on. The stinging in my is just this side of truly painful but I don’t want to show any weakness by crying about it. The more I pay attention to my hair though, the more concerned I get. She’d moved my longish hair around so many times that I never considered that she was actually putting it into a ‘style’. But now that she’s finishing up I can feel it. I have weird layers to my hair that move differently as she turns me to the left and right. Just as I figure it out, that she has my hair up in a ponytail, she turns my head again and I realize it isn’t a ponytail. It’s two ponytails, one to either side of my head.

The effect starts to come in as to what that would look like when I feel Marci’s hand and think she’s saying something to me. I think she’s talking to me, but she didn’t turn off the music so I can’t hear her. As if I’d agreed to something she gives me that double tap to my shoulder and returns, leaving me to my stinging lips, my two ponytails, and my J pop. The I feel the chair being leaned back and something being wiped on my face, just above my eyes. It feels sticky and YEEEOOWWW!

I clench at the chair as something rips the skin above my eye. When I feel I can move and not just flail about I reach up to see what’s going on but my hand is caught and gently guided back to the chair rest. My shoulder is given a double pat and as I fear, the process is repeated on the other brow. I clench up, now knowing what to expect and when it’s pulled this time it’s not as painful.

Finally after all this, The chair is sat upright and I’m turned. The music isn’t only shut off, they buds are removed from my ears. “Okay sweety, I’m going to take the pads off now. Do NOT open your eyes. I know you’re excited to see what we came up with, but I need to clean the serum off your eye lies. I promise, we’re close and you’ll see the results in just a moment.”

I wait. I feel the tape gently pulled from my face and the pads pulled away. A warm soapy washcloth is used to clean my closed eyes and finally a clean soap-less washcloth is used to rinse them. After what feels like five sperate eternities I feel hands on both my shoulder and hear Marci say “Open your eyes and see how beautiful you are!”

I open my eyes and for a moment the brightness overwhelms me. All of the vanity lights are on and my eyes have been closed for five hours, so I give it some time. When my vision slowly starts to come back I see a crowd of people. The first person I can focus on is Sarah. Her hair now has seemingly random splashes of pale color throughout it. She was cute before and is beautiful now. I see Marci and who I assume to be Ella. Sitting in front of them all is who I assume to be Sarah’s other streamer project.

They really made her e-girl cute. She has high arched dark eyebrows, but her hair starts out a dark fuchsia and fades smoothly down to a pale pink. Both her hair and Sarah’s are pulled up into twin high ponytails that reminds me of so many female Japanese game characters. Except where the Japanese characters traditionally have those thin lips, this girl’s lips look thick, plump, and perfect for kissing. Kissing and so much more!

Seeing all of them looking in the mirror expectantly, I look closer too because…. where am I in the mirror? I stretch my eye lids and wiggle my now sensitive brows and see the new project girl mirroring the actions back at me. As if she’s…. my… … own… … … reflection.

oh fuck.